My first real crisis - dammit!

CoCoMo

Full Member
You know, men suck sometimes! I have a bizarre situation with my best male friend which crashed into my belief in my weight loss goals last night. Him and me have had a...let's call it a "thing"... for months now and we both like each other very much, but we both have some complexities around actually being together so technically, we are just friends.:rolleyes:
I was talking to him about my CD plan and saying how much weight I wanted to lose, and he said "why would you want to lose weight? You've got a gorgeous figure and you are beautiful". Well, obviously my heart skipped a beat and my usual cool and composed attitude melted a little. It took me a good amount of self restraint not to fall into the usual trap of going home with him, and when I got home alone, I ate :(. Not loads, but enough to make me VERY annoyed with myself for emotional eating. I have kept myself awake for much of the night, thinking about what he said to me and beating myself up for falling off plan. :sigh:
I KNOW I want to lose the weight for me - to feel healthier, to be prouder of my body and to wear the clothes I love. And the logical part of me tells me that people see me differently to the way I see myself. But my belief in myself is wavering a bit, and I feel so conflicted today about what to do. I will stick to plan today but I don't think it will fix what is going on in my head. DAMN!:mad:
 
Dont let the 'blip' end your CD plan

Put the food thing behind you.... but think about why you did it.... obviously from here reading it was emotional eating and maybe being told you look ok as you are?

You are doing CD for YOU and nobody else.

I could have stopped CD a couple of months ago if i wanted to... have been told since crimbo time i looked more than ok..etc...but errrrrr NO!!!! this is for ME and not other people. I wont feel internally happy until i reach my OWN weight goal.

Other outside issues....men lol...work etc..are part & parcel of real life...we gotta deal with that, but dont let it interupt your good doings on CD!!!
 
Well said Leah. I'm pretty much the same height and weight as you Cocomo, and I've had close friends telling me that I look great as I am and I shouldn't want to lose my curves. It's really hard when people tell you things like that because it makes you wonder why you're doing this, especially when it's someone you really like.

I've got it into perspective for myself now. I decided that like Leah I have to get to MY target, and I've really had to tune out other people's idea's about what my target should be. I'm not going to lose my curves, I've always had hips and boobs, even when I was much thinner.

It's hard not to let other people's ideas get to you, but don't let them ruin it for you. A blip's a blip, I've had tons, but the trick is to put it behind you and not feel guilty about it. Good luck hun xxx
 
Thanks so much ladies. I am too much of a control freak - I am normally a very collected, rational person, and this situation with the boy is the only one which affects me so much at the moment. And when I lose control of my emotions I HATE it. I KNOW i have to lose weight, and I will just try to remember who and what it's for. Really appreciate your support and advice - thank you xxx
 
beating yourself up now isn't going to help. Just going to turn into a cycle of angry, guilt and more eating if thats how you roll. Notch it up to experience and move on with it. Bank it to remember how you felt when you came off plan (not about eating but off that particular plan). I'm trying really hard to move away from guilt associated with eating off plan and we'll all have to eat at some point, but eat on plan.

Have you tried making yourself a confidence board? Making up confidence statements and leave them pinned to various points around the house? "I am in control of my body" "I am on my way to becoming healthier" things like that to help work on your head?

I cant help with the man stuff - Not my forte I'm afraid - but good luck :)
 
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