my granda has 2 weeks to live

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by stacey, 1 September 2008 Social URL.

  1. stacey

    stacey i love minimins me :)

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    i jus dont no wat to say or do :(

    9 weeks ago he sed his back was hurting, the doctors where called out a few times but they sed it was arthritus (we didnt believe it) and on 2 occasions the doctors didnt even come out even tho they sed they would

    on wed he went to a&e at 2am n it took till 5am to even be seen, since then the treatment has been shockin (he has an artificial leg n the doctor was staring at him etc) after a lot of arguements n complaints they agreed to do some more tests and found out he has cancer

    last night a nurse went to move him n broke his arm in 6 places, after more tests today they sed the cancer was really bad n has spread to his bones and that his full back has collapsed :(

    they have now sed he has 2 weeks to live, i am soooo angry cos he has been i severe pain for over 2 months n treat like crap n now he is going to die! if they bothered to do tests when he was first poorly even if they cudnt do anythin to make him beter at least they wud have give him the right medication and he wudnt have spent his remaining weeks in pain

    i dont no wat to do now, he has requested that we do not go to see him, so i will leave him for couple of days to get his head around things then try again, i dont no how my nana is coping as she is still in shock n hasnt really spoke

    i cant belive 10 weeks ago my granda was fine and out n about as normal and even going to the club with his mates for a pint n now i have to say bye

    sorry for this post i jus needed to get it off my chest

    xxx
     
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  3. Sandrah78

    Sandrah78 Silver Member

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    I'm so sorry sweetie. I don't really know what to say apart from we're here if you want to get things off your chest.
     
  4. Toots

    Toots Gold Member

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    I'm sorry to hear of your sad news :(

    xx
     
  5. Wytchy

    Wytchy Have a Little Patience x

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    Sweetheart that is heartbreaking news. May I suggest that you write a letter of complaint to the Complaints Manager of the Hospital as soon as possible and ask why there was a delay in his diagnosis. I know this might not be the thing to do right now but bear it in mind for later when you're all feeling stronger.

    If you get in touch with an organisation called ICAS (part of the Citizens Advice Bureau which deals specifically with complaints re the NHS systems) then they will appoint a one to one case worker who will write the letter for you.

    I know that it won't help your Grandad but it may help you and the family to understand why he has been treated so poorly.

    Good luck xxx
     
    Last edited: 1 September 2008
  6. SpaceAngel

    SpaceAngel I ate my willpower!

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    I am so sorry to hear about your Grandad. His treatment has been appauling.

    I have had 2 relatives die of cancer and they have said that the Macmillan Nurses are a fantastic support. It might be worthwhile looking at their website and seeing if there is any support that might be available to your family, even if its just emotional support.

    I hope that you are ok, but you know that we are all hear if you need any support.
     
  7. Claire1981

    Claire1981 Is so very nearly there!

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    Im so sorry huni, such horrid news..

    Hope the next few weeks are as pain free as poss for him and that you all ok...

    We have just had Pauls Nanas funeral.... sad days hun]x
     
  8. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Stacey so sorry to hear your news. I can quite believe that you don't know what to do or say but we are all here for you so please don't bottle your feelings up talk to us instead. Your gran will need you at the moment and you can be there for each other. Let us hope that your grandad will not be in pain and will be cared for properly

    Irene xx
     
  9. KittyB

    KittyB Gold Member

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    Hi ((hugs))

    I can sympathise - have just lost my Nana.
    I have to say when we felt we weren't getting the support we needed we got a hospice involved and while she was never moved there, they really were fantastic. The other suggestions here in the thread are really good and definietly worth follwoing up.
    I know you need to respect his wishes, but also hope you can get to see him to speak with him.
    Thinking about you xx
     
  10. Lisa Marie

    Lisa Marie Silver Member

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    Big hugs darling. Hope your Grandas remaining time is as pain free as possible.

    Take care xx
     
  11. kelly1977

    kelly1977 Back On CD.......

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    Hiya Hun,

    All I can say is I would personally put a letter of complaint to whoever you need to.

    I can't believe how your Grandad has been treated, Its disgusting.. :mad:

    I would spend all the time you possibly can with your Grandad, I know your Grandad doesnt want that but I think you will regret it if you dont.

    And also be there for your nana, I cant imagine how she is feeling at the moment.

    I lost my nan last yr, she was in so much pain & we knew she didnt have long, I wasnt working at the time luckily & got to visit her twice every day for a few hours & I am so glad I did spend as much time as I could with her.

    We are here for you if you need to get things off your chest..

    Thinking of you..

    xx
     
  12. united_trekkie

    united_trekkie GO TEAM FFF

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    Hi Stacey, so sorry to hear your awful news - I lost my mum 3rys ago to cancer she was 56. I can agree with an earlier post that th Macmillan nurses were fantastic. I understand completely what you're going through and as others have said...we're all here if and when you need us

    xx
     
  13. bajoleth

    bajoleth Gold Member

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    Hi, i've just read your devastating news and I just had to reply, not that i've any magic words for you, I just wanted to send a hug and say that I know how special grandma and grandpas can be. I am sure he will now get first class care with you and your family fighting his corner, hang in there lots of love Jo
     
  14. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    Im so sorry to hear your news and how your grandpa has been treated. Forget the treatment just now though, dont let it spoil the time you have left. You can deal with that later *HUGS*

    Make the most of the time you have. My nana was diagnosed with cancer and died within a week, she was unconcious most of the time but we all got to see her, talk to her and say goodbye. My brother and I actually said our goodbyes several days before she died, and didnt see her again, but we felt we'd been with her and done things the way we wanted to. My cousins thought we were wrong not going every day until she died but we've never regretted things.

    Make the most of your grandpa while hes here, and do post whenever you feel it might help, you know we're all here for you

    *HUGS*
     
  15. dehli

    dehli Silver Member

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    I'm so sorry about your Grandad. I wouldn't blame the nurse for breaking his arm though, that would be because of the bone cancer. I also would definitely go to see him, despite what he said. You need to say your goodbyes and see him when he's not in pain or you'll regret it afterwards. Hospices are fantastic with terminal cancer patients but as he hasn't got long I don't know if there'll be time to move him. You definitely need to speak to someone supportive though, so see if you can contact macmillan nurses. Your nan will need lots of love and support too. All the best xx
     
  16. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    Hi Hunny. thats awful. When did you find out? when you went up there yesterday afternoon? I will be about if you need a chat but I agree with the others, go and spend as much time with him as possible. But ont he up side, they do sometimes get these things wrong... my friend who had leukemia was told one friday she would have the weekend to live, i was on holiday and devestated I couldnt see her but she faught back and lived for another 3 months!
    Big cuddles to you hunny and even though you need to be strong for your gran make sure H2b is being strong for you as you will need someone to lean on aswell!
    Love ya
    xxx
     
  17. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Oh Stacey that's awful news. My granddad died 3 years ago tomorrow of cancer and his treatment from the NHS was also despicable. He halved in size almost right before our eyes and his doctor said he couldn't see a cause for concern. WTF??!! then when he couldn't eat without being sick they tried saying it was just a bug. It was only when we finally got him into hospital that it was found he had advanced cancer and was given 3 months. It was devastating for us all and I totally understand how you are feeling. last week we found out that my nan has cancer now but they haven't given a prognosis yet as they haven't done the bone scan. ((((((Hugs))))))
     
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  19. stacey

    stacey i love minimins me :)

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    thank u all so much for ur replies

    my mam is going to the hospital today to see a doctor about him coming home, he hates being in hospital and we want him to be as comfortable as possible, they did say at the hospital yesterday that he might be allowed home today so fingers crossed

    my mam and step dad rang me last night to let me no :( am going to go and see my nana this morning for a couple of hours before visitin hours, as visiting hours r only 2-4 and 7-8 and i start my new job tomorrow :( so it means i am hardly going to see him if they wont let him come home :(

    xxx
     
  20. Daisy_Doo_Dah

    Daisy_Doo_Dah Boo!

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    Hi Stacey, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Cancer is such a horrible things and so hard to deal with. I hope that you are your family are all bearing up and you are all in my thoughts.
    Take care x
     
  21. Carolanski

    Carolanski Back to it!

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    Just wanted to say how sorry I am - and hoping that they let him spend his last moments at home, with those who love him most.

    Hugs

    Carol x
     
  22. rainbow

    rainbow Gold Member

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    Sorry to hear of your sad news, I dont have anything to add other than what has already been said xxxx
     
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