Angiebobanji
Member
I've decided to start my own thread after reading lots of other ones on LL. I started LL in October on the 23rd. I've started a writing journal but I think I'll use this as my on-line journal (I've been inspired by BlondLogic).
I've got WI tonight and it'll be my week 6. Another 8 weeks to go!!
It's been very hard. I KNOW I'm to abstain from food 100% but I haven't. I've nibbled now and then and even had actual meals. I feel as though I'm at contsant odds with myself. I fell off big style this week. It kicked off when I was in the shopping centre trying on frocks for a party in December. Size 14 was far too big and a size 12 was just a little too tight. Plus nothing really looked good one me, I felt like that I looked DUMPY. I'm 5'3 and dresses (even short ones) don't look very good on my frame. I got really upset and wanted to run to the nearest KFC I didn't but I ended up cracking by the end of the day and had some salmon and cabbage. AUGH!! I know my resolve isn't strong enough at the moment so I've blocked all food from my line of vision for the next week until I get firmly back on the LL wagon.
My issues:
-If I don't don't have my packs or miss some of them, I tell myself it's OK to eat
Solution: Have ALL my packs, this way there is no excuse.
-Listening to my AC/RC and my Parent chatter box instead of my Adult self.
Solution: Acknowlege my AC/RC and Parent self then follow my Adult voice.
I often wonder how many others on LL have hiccups in their journey...
Any wisdom is welcomed!
Todays thoughts...
If hunger is not the problem then eating is not the solution!
I feel optimistic today. I'm almost halfway there and have lost 18 lbs and my BMI is 27. When I see this, I know I haven't failed, it's just taking me a little longer to reach my target. I'm at odds with myself over my trip to Canada in late Jan 09. It's the first time I'm going to be seeing my family for over a year. By that point I'll (hopefully!) just started my RTM.
BUT.
My trips back home involves lots of eating - my entire family LOVES food but are all tiny (I think I must be adopted!!) but I suppose they eat very healthy food i.e. sushi (sashimi), veggy-based meals, very little meat and loads of seafood. I think back and realize I gained the bulk of my weight when I moved to the UK (loads of stodgy food) My BMI was normal when I lived in Canada. So do I eat when I'm in Canada?? I keep thinking if I eat when I'm there for the two weeks then when I come back on, do the abstainence for a month then RTM, it'll be OK. Is this crooked thinking? Plus I'll be snowboarding every other day...
On a side note...
I can't WAIT to see the look on my mum's face when she sees me in a pair of size 8 jeans! My sister was with me when I bought a pair of leather boots last year that I couldn't zip up and again - I can't wait to see her face when I've got those boots on!!
MmMmmm.... drinking PU-er tea at the moment and I swear it's better then coffee!!
Better get back to work - or I'll be here all night!!
I've got WI tonight and it'll be my week 6. Another 8 weeks to go!!
It's been very hard. I KNOW I'm to abstain from food 100% but I haven't. I've nibbled now and then and even had actual meals. I feel as though I'm at contsant odds with myself. I fell off big style this week. It kicked off when I was in the shopping centre trying on frocks for a party in December. Size 14 was far too big and a size 12 was just a little too tight. Plus nothing really looked good one me, I felt like that I looked DUMPY. I'm 5'3 and dresses (even short ones) don't look very good on my frame. I got really upset and wanted to run to the nearest KFC I didn't but I ended up cracking by the end of the day and had some salmon and cabbage. AUGH!! I know my resolve isn't strong enough at the moment so I've blocked all food from my line of vision for the next week until I get firmly back on the LL wagon.
My issues:
-If I don't don't have my packs or miss some of them, I tell myself it's OK to eat
Solution: Have ALL my packs, this way there is no excuse.
-Listening to my AC/RC and my Parent chatter box instead of my Adult self.
Solution: Acknowlege my AC/RC and Parent self then follow my Adult voice.
I often wonder how many others on LL have hiccups in their journey...
Any wisdom is welcomed!
Todays thoughts...
If hunger is not the problem then eating is not the solution!
I feel optimistic today. I'm almost halfway there and have lost 18 lbs and my BMI is 27. When I see this, I know I haven't failed, it's just taking me a little longer to reach my target. I'm at odds with myself over my trip to Canada in late Jan 09. It's the first time I'm going to be seeing my family for over a year. By that point I'll (hopefully!) just started my RTM.
BUT.
My trips back home involves lots of eating - my entire family LOVES food but are all tiny (I think I must be adopted!!) but I suppose they eat very healthy food i.e. sushi (sashimi), veggy-based meals, very little meat and loads of seafood. I think back and realize I gained the bulk of my weight when I moved to the UK (loads of stodgy food) My BMI was normal when I lived in Canada. So do I eat when I'm in Canada?? I keep thinking if I eat when I'm there for the two weeks then when I come back on, do the abstainence for a month then RTM, it'll be OK. Is this crooked thinking? Plus I'll be snowboarding every other day...
On a side note...
I can't WAIT to see the look on my mum's face when she sees me in a pair of size 8 jeans! My sister was with me when I bought a pair of leather boots last year that I couldn't zip up and again - I can't wait to see her face when I've got those boots on!!
MmMmmm.... drinking PU-er tea at the moment and I swear it's better then coffee!!
Better get back to work - or I'll be here all night!!