izzywizz
Full Member
So I’m a (now mostly inactive) member of a pro Anorexia forum. I’m recovered now, but many of the feelings are still there, as the girls on the pro forum say “Ana never leaves you.” That’s kind of why I joined here, the pro ana forum was so supportive, but BAD for me.
Anyway, I’ve been looking around here and have drawn some interesting comparisons (I think) and thought I’d share. Not really sure what you’ll make of this, but here goes…
The first thing I noticed is the weight loss trackers. The pro Ana forum (I’ll call it PT from here on, it’s an abbreviation of the sites name J) has these too, HW, CW, GW and, unlike here, LW (Low Weight) This is often used to show that someone has “recovered” only to fall back into the Ana lifestyle. The differences are obvious though: On here, GW is often around the high 100s, on PT, we’re looking at 70lbs for an UGW. Yet, the idea of tracking our weight is the same…
The next thing I noticed was the recipes, with either calories or points or whatever the system is for a diet plan. Interestingly, many of these recipes are VERY similar to the ones on PT. Egg whites and veggies feature frequently. Often, Anorexics have a list of safe foods including things like:
Sugar free jelly
Vegetables
Egg whites
Diet coke
Black Coffee
Home made soup
Rice cakes
I wonder how may people on here would consider these things to be “safe” or “good” diet foods? Again, this is something I’ve been surprised at, but in a good way, I think J
I’ve also noticed the fear of gaining weight. This is something which often defines the anorexic. A fear of gaining weight to the point of “purging” This can be done by vomiting, taking laxatives, or EXERCISING. How many people on here do extra exercise to burn of that cake you shouldn’t have eaten? And how many of you were driven to that exercise by the fear of gaining? Ok, most likely you didn’t run until you collapsed or do so many sit ups that you couldn’t move from the pain, but I bet most of you HAVE exercised “excessively” at some point.
Finally, I’ve noticed a similar feeling of low self esteem. Anorexics HATE themselves, looking in the mirror is quite frankly traumatic. Anyone feel a little like this? Feel horribly conspicuous when out and about? Hate trying on new clothes? Take comfort, that very thin girl in the next cubicle most likely feels the same, actually, she could feel worse - suicidal, in fact. All because of her body. She thinks she needs to lose another 2olbs or so. You think she should gain 20lbs.
IDK what I’m trying to say, I guess it’s that people say an eating disorder is a disease, but if psychologists were to look at some people who were overweight and dieting, they could catch potential Eating disorders before they become life threatening. But they don’t. They look at your BMI. Until its too low, it doesn’t matter to them.
I suppose as well that people who are overweight and on a diet, are perhaps not that distant from the anorexic, at least in mind. The Ana has a “voice” controlling her life though, at least someone “healthy” can reach a normal weight and move on. And that’s what I envy you for. I worry that when I get to my goal weight it won’t be enough, you’ll get there (and you will) and be so happy and proud and that will do you just fine.
Anyway, I’ve been looking around here and have drawn some interesting comparisons (I think) and thought I’d share. Not really sure what you’ll make of this, but here goes…
The first thing I noticed is the weight loss trackers. The pro Ana forum (I’ll call it PT from here on, it’s an abbreviation of the sites name J) has these too, HW, CW, GW and, unlike here, LW (Low Weight) This is often used to show that someone has “recovered” only to fall back into the Ana lifestyle. The differences are obvious though: On here, GW is often around the high 100s, on PT, we’re looking at 70lbs for an UGW. Yet, the idea of tracking our weight is the same…
The next thing I noticed was the recipes, with either calories or points or whatever the system is for a diet plan. Interestingly, many of these recipes are VERY similar to the ones on PT. Egg whites and veggies feature frequently. Often, Anorexics have a list of safe foods including things like:
Sugar free jelly
Vegetables
Egg whites
Diet coke
Black Coffee
Home made soup
Rice cakes
I wonder how may people on here would consider these things to be “safe” or “good” diet foods? Again, this is something I’ve been surprised at, but in a good way, I think J
I’ve also noticed the fear of gaining weight. This is something which often defines the anorexic. A fear of gaining weight to the point of “purging” This can be done by vomiting, taking laxatives, or EXERCISING. How many people on here do extra exercise to burn of that cake you shouldn’t have eaten? And how many of you were driven to that exercise by the fear of gaining? Ok, most likely you didn’t run until you collapsed or do so many sit ups that you couldn’t move from the pain, but I bet most of you HAVE exercised “excessively” at some point.
Finally, I’ve noticed a similar feeling of low self esteem. Anorexics HATE themselves, looking in the mirror is quite frankly traumatic. Anyone feel a little like this? Feel horribly conspicuous when out and about? Hate trying on new clothes? Take comfort, that very thin girl in the next cubicle most likely feels the same, actually, she could feel worse - suicidal, in fact. All because of her body. She thinks she needs to lose another 2olbs or so. You think she should gain 20lbs.
IDK what I’m trying to say, I guess it’s that people say an eating disorder is a disease, but if psychologists were to look at some people who were overweight and dieting, they could catch potential Eating disorders before they become life threatening. But they don’t. They look at your BMI. Until its too low, it doesn’t matter to them.
I suppose as well that people who are overweight and on a diet, are perhaps not that distant from the anorexic, at least in mind. The Ana has a “voice” controlling her life though, at least someone “healthy” can reach a normal weight and move on. And that’s what I envy you for. I worry that when I get to my goal weight it won’t be enough, you’ll get there (and you will) and be so happy and proud and that will do you just fine.