My Pregnancy Diary: Following SW

[PregnantSW]

In 3 weeks I've put on 1.5 lbs. I'm not 17.3.5 now

I know 1.5 in 3 weeks is good.. But the weight is just going up and I'm not comfortable with that (at this early on in my pregnancy). But, I did have a bad week last week so let's hope I can get rid of the gain so long as I have an on plan week this week.

I have my first midwives appt on the 20th April which gives me 2 more weighs to lose some weight. Would love to be in the 16's but any weight loss will make me happy now.

 

[PregnantSW]

Breakfast:
Coco caramel shreddies
Milk
Strawberries + raspberries

A few mini lindor eggs
Puft crisps
3 tuc biscuits
1 cheese string

Lunch:
Jacket potato
Lamb keema with a little gravy
Coleslaw

Then had Apple crumble
Chicken and chips
A raisin pastry.

 

[PregnantSW]

Ok. This post may offend some. Luckily I only have 2-3 people that actually read this so here goes.

I was lying down today in bed and I look at my stomach. And it's huge. And so fat. And so jelly like flopped there infront of me. It's like.. So disgusting. Honestly. That's how I feel today. Disgusted. I felt horrified I have allowed my body to become this. A big blob of mess. Because that's what I am. A big blob of fat.

Now, before anyone tells me I'm pregnant. I know. Believe me. I know. And becoming pregnant was the only dream ive had for years and years. Especially since we decided I should leave work last March so I could concentrate on my weight loss.

And yes, I know I have gone from being 22 stones 10 to 17 stones 3.5lbs. And that's still a massive weight loss.

But the disgust I felt today. And the regret and the guilt and the.. Sadness I felt today when I looked at the state of my stomach

And yet I still had an off plan day! And you know the flipping irony????? JUNK DOESNT SATISFY ME ANYMORE!!!! It doesn't make me go hmmmmm Mmmmmmmmm and make me go all warm and fuzzy. It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't even make me sad. Well, I dunno about that. It actually makes me mad! I dream and lust over eating junk.. Chocolate, cake.. Whatever. And then when I do it just doesn't do anything.

So, if I can help it, no more treats until my first MW appt. because what's the point if it doesn't hit the spot anymore? So that's 2 weeks of being 100% on plan. And I won't weigh in for 2 weeks either.

Maybe it's hormones. But I don't think so. I feel sad. So sad. I feel out of control. And I don't like it.

 

[Sazmajig]

You are allowed to feel that way. I feel that way sometimes (although I'm beginning to like my body once more)

You have done so well so don't take that away from yourself. But feeling like this isn't a bad thing unless you give up and eat all the crap food again and pile on the weight. Use it as your motivation and feeling like this is actually a good thing!

I know exactly what you mean about the junk food not being satisfying any more. I can have a little and think yum but if I have to much I get a sore tummy and just feel really low. So I decided to limit my Syns to about 5 a day which I think will work.

Xx

 

[Rae Rae]

Hey hun,

I don't find that offensive at all. I know I've felt disgusted with myself over the years and I'm not even pregnant. As a constant yo yo dieter my body is wrecked and I always think why do I keep doin it to myself.

I think your hormones maybe playin a part in what your feelin but look how far you've come.... 5.5 stone off is AMAZING

I know what you mean about the junk aswell, we crave it for so long then we have it and it doesn't taste like we remember.

Hope your feelin brighter today xx

 

[PregnantSW]

Breakfast:
Shreddies (x2 hexB)
Milk (hexA)
1/2 melon

Alpen light banoffee flavour (3)
Was delicious!

Apple
Yogurt

Lunch:
Jacket potato sprayed with 1/2 syn Olive oil and smidgen of Philly light
Beans mixed with garlic powder and fried onions
Cucumber
Quorn nuggets (3 syns)

1 cheese string
Alpen light Jaffa cake (3)
Puft crisps (3.5)

Dinner:
Roosters peri peri chicken (skin removed)
Plum tomatoes

Total syns: 13

 

[PregnantSW]

You are allowed to feel that way. I feel that way sometimes (although I'm beginning to like my body once more)

You have done so well so don't take that away from yourself. But feeling like this isn't a bad thing unless you give up and eat all the crap food again and pile on the weight. Use it as your motivation and feeling like this is actually a good thing!

I know exactly what you mean about the junk food not being satisfying any more. I can have a little and think yum but if I have to much I get a sore tummy and just feel really low. So I decided to limit my Syns to about 5 a day which I think will work.

Xx

I'm going without a treat until my birthday where I'll have a nice birthday cake, a nice meal out and God willing, the knowledge that we have a healthy baby (will have had my 12 week scan by then).

Thank you. I'm feeling much better today x

 

[PregnantSW]

Hey hun,

I don't find that offensive at all. I know I've felt disgusted with myself over the years and I'm not even pregnant. As a constant yo yo dieter my body is wrecked and I always think why do I keep doin it to myself.

I think your hormones maybe playin a part in what your feelin but look how far you've come.... 5.5 stone off is AMAZING

I know what you mean about the junk aswell, we crave it for so long then we have it and it doesn't taste like we remember.

Hope your feelin brighter today xx

Hi love.. Thank you. That was like a virtual hug

I'm feeling much better. Went for a long walk with my husband which was nice. Then we went to the garden centre and bought a load of plants. A plum tree. Bell pepper plant and tomato plants! We've ordered an apricot tree and strawberries which will come in a few days. Can't wait! July/August time.. Come to mine and we'll go fruit picking in the garden hehe x

 

[Rae Rae]

Hi love.. Thank you. That was like a virtual hug

I'm feeling much better. Went for a long walk with my husband which was nice. Then we went to the garden centre and bought a load of plants. A plum tree. Bell pepper plant and tomato plants! We've ordered an apricot tree and strawberries which will come in a few days. Can't wait! July/August time.. Come to mine and we'll go fruit picking in the garden hehe x

Wow that sounds amazing, I love strawberries

Glad you're feeling a bit brighter, just take it one day at a time xx

 

[PregnantSW]

My friend has strawberries in her garden every year and she gave me loads last summer. They were so beautiful, juicy and delicious I have to try to grow them. Just hope everything we've planted actually gives us some fruit!

Have some cleaning to do today, then bed to go out to run some errands.. And there's no meat in the house so need to go to the butchers.. Busy day.

 

[Rae Rae]

My friend has strawberries in her garden every year and she gave me loads last summer. They were so beautiful, juicy and delicious I have to try to grow them. Just hope everything we've planted actually gives us some fruit!

Have some cleaning to do today, then bed to go out to run some errands.. And there's no meat in the house so need to go to the butchers.. Busy day.

Oh they sound lovely, yum.

Enjoy your day xx

 

[PregnantSW]

I haven't been on plan. Not sure what's wrong with me. It's not pregnancy, it's just psychological. Think I'm just worried about my scan on Thursday and I can't concentrate. Main meals are fine but not in between. I just want to get to the end of the month and see my baby at 12 weeks, know he/she is ok and then be able to enjoy my pregnancy. I feel at the moment I'm just full of worry and anxiety and I can't enjoy it.

So I'm relaxing the reigns until then. I'm praying my scan will be fine on Thursday and that'll put me at ease and I'll be able to concentrate on my food properly.

 

[Rae Rae]

I haven't been on plan. Not sure what's wrong with me. It's not pregnancy, it's just psychological. Think I'm just worried about my scan on Thursday and I can't concentrate. Main meals are fine but not in between. I just want to get to the end of the month and see my baby at 12 weeks, know he/she is ok and then be able to enjoy my pregnancy. I feel at the moment I'm just full of worry and anxiety and I can't enjoy it.

So I'm relaxing the reigns until then. I'm praying my scan will be fine on Thursday and that'll put me at ease and I'll be able to concentrate on my food properly.

Think that's totally understandable hun under the circumstances. I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll feel much better when you see your little bean on the screen and listen to the heartbeat

 

[daisydaisydaisy]

Just checking in Pregnant. I totally understand your post a few days ago. I had a very indulgent bank holiday and feel disgusted with myself...yet I still ate loads of chocolate for breakfast! Like you, I have a scan this week and I'm really anxious about it. I will be thinking of you on Thursday xx

 

[Sazmajig]

I haven't been on plan. Not sure what's wrong with me. It's not pregnancy, it's just psychological. Think I'm just worried about my scan on Thursday and I can't concentrate. Main meals are fine but not in between. I just want to get to the end of the month and see my baby at 12 weeks, know he/she is ok and then be able to enjoy my pregnancy. I feel at the moment I'm just full of worry and anxiety and I can't enjoy it.

So I'm relaxing the reigns until then. I'm praying my scan will be fine on Thursday and that'll put me at ease and I'll be able to concentrate on my food properly.

Virtual hugs xx

 

[daisydaisydaisy]

Hope your scan goes well today x

 

[Rae Rae]

Hope everything goes well hun xx

 

[Sazmajig]

Hope everything goes well today xxx

 

[Roziee]

Hi everyone.

It's me, PregnantSW.

My baby didn't survive. There was no heartbeat detected today and there wasn't any growth since the last scan 2 weeks ago.

I won't be pregnant after next week. I'm going in for the procedure.

 

[Rae Rae]

Oh Rozie hun, I'm so so so sorry to hear your news. Have you got hubby there for support? Big hugs xx