My quest for balance

One of the reasons I started this diary was to try and get a handle on my bingeing and to do that I need to be honest and face up to it. So, I have to confess I had a major binge yesterday. It consisted of: 2 bags of caramel nibbles, 5 kids Dairy Milk bars, 1 bag kettle chips, 1 bag skips, 1 bag lentil crisps, mini haribo, 2 x mini love hearts, 2 x drumstick lollies and a toasted white roll with margarine and marmite. I enjoyed the first bag of caramel nibbles, but the rest was down to a feeling that I had to keep eating rather than enjoyment.

So that little lot (plus breakfast, a snack and lunch - unsurprisingly I didn't manage any dinner!) took me to 3,318 calories for the day = 1,348 over maintenance. I did manage over 2 hours walking yesterday though so that will have offset some of the calories at least.

What happened: I was working from home, so out of my usual routine and on my own. I didn't have as much to eat as I usually would in the morning and then went for a 55 min walk before I ate lunch so I was really hungry by lunch and it felt like it didn't touch the sides. I still felt hungry an hour later but rather than having my afternoon snack early, I went and bought chocolate and then couldn't seem to stop eating once I started.

I think in light of that, I either need to make sure I work in the office every day for a while (and especially when I'm feeling tired and run down) or I need to make sure I have my usual work breakfast and snacks when I'm at home.

So, today, I'm aiming to have a good day and come in under 1,500. I'm not going to try and make up for the binge as I'll probably end up feeling deprived and hungry and be at risk of another one. I'm back in the office so should be able to do this. I really want to get my head together today as if I have another bad day, I think I'll struggle over the bank holiday weekend. I've just had my yogurt and granola so off to a decent start.

Oh, and I feel awful today - really tired and sluggish - and it's frustrating knowing that I did this to myself :mad:
 
You've done very well to come clean about the binge, and it sounds like you've worked out the cause of it and a good solution. Very sensible! Sorry I don't have much advice but I hope you do well today and don't dwell on what happened :)
 
You've done very well to come clean about the binge, and it sounds like you've worked out the cause of it and a good solution. Very sensible! Sorry I don't have much advice but I hope you do well today and don't dwell on what happened :)

Thanks BeaBeas. I'm trying not to dwell, though I find it so difficult to get myself back on track sometimes - today has been a battle but I think I'm winning.

2.30pm and doing well so far:
Breakfast - yogurt + granola
Snack - pineapple + 2 rice thins with cashew butter
Lunch - 1 1/2 slices brown toast + 2 poached eggs

Have a lovely salad and flatbread for tea so looking forward to that.

I finish early on a Friday but have an appointment after work so won't be home early and alone, which is a blessing today :rolleyes:

Dinner - honey mustard chicken salad with Goats cheese and pine nuts, 1/4 goats cheese & red onion flatbread
Snack - will be lentil crisps
Total cals - 1,273

This afternoon was easier than this morning so pleased I had something to do after work as that definitely helped. *Really* enjoyed my dinner so glad I didn't ruin it with a chocolate binge beforehand.

my task for the weekend is to get plenty of sleep and exercise so I feel more mentally strong next week. Will weigh in over the weekend too and hopefully won't have gained anything.
 
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A dull but productive day - cleaned the house and filed about 6 months of paperwork. Hoping I can think of something a bit more exciting to do for the rest of the weekend!

Breakfast - weetabix minis + yogurt
Lunch - bacon sandwich with ketchup, bag skips
Snack - choc mousse + snack-a-jacks
Dinner - sweet & sour pork with noodles
Snack - lentil crisps
Total cals - 1,365
 
Can't belive I forgot to mention my weigh-in yesterday.... 1lb off :eek: really pleased considering it was a difficult week. I'm now 11st 2lb so hoping to get to my next goal this week..... I can't wait to get back into the 10s - it'll be the first time this year.
 
Can't belive I forgot to mention my weigh-in yesterday.... 1lb off :eek: really pleased considering it was a difficult week. I'm now 11st 2lb so hoping to get to my next goal this week..... I can't wait to get back into the 10s - it'll be the first time this year.

That's brilliant. ..well done ☺ x
 
Thanks Becky :)

Good day:
breakfast - Weetabix minis & yogurt
lunch - rocket, goats cheese and pine nut salad with sweet chilli sauce, mini Naan & lentil crisps
snack - Choc mousse and 2 pineapple rings
dinner - roast pork with purple broccoli, peas, green beans and gravy (stuffed)
snack - if I stop feeling stuffed in the next couple of hrs, I've got a frozen weight watchers brownie dessert
total cals - 1,421

so 2 days of the BH weekend done with no food dramas :). We're out for lunch tomorrow I think but will aim to have something sensible.
 
Aaaand, I have made it through the BH weekend with no slip-ups :D

Breakfast - weetabix minis + yogurt (muller light fruitopolis which are gorgeous and don't 'feel' low cal/low fat)
Lunch - 3 mini pittas with falafel and reduced fat hummous, bag lentil crisps (bit dull)
Snack - strawberries
Dinner - 2 LF sausages, egg and beans
Snack - WW caramel crunch frozen dessert

I did a whopping 21.5k steps today thanks to a 5 mile walk along the river in Knaresborough this morning and a Ministry of Sound DVD this afternoon (hadn't done this for over a year and had forgotten how fun it was - and how hard it is). Will see if I can still walk tomorrow!

TOTM this week but still hoping for a loss on Saturday as I haven't had any bad cravings and should be able to stay on track through the rest of it.
 
Well done, carry on like this and you'll definitely lose on Saturday x
 
Well done on the loss! And getting through the weekend so well :) I've been meaning to go to Knaresborough for ages but not got round to it. It looks lovely.
 
Thanks both :) Knaresborough was very nice - lovely place and the nearest place with hills for us!

Hungry day today so have used my full 1,500 calories:
breakfast - yogurt & granola
snack - pineapple, passion fruit and pistachios
lunch - sweet chilli chicken salad & mini naan
snack - 2rice thins & cashew butter, apple
dinner - crab & ginger noodles, WW caramel crunch dessert
snack - lentil crisps
total cals - 1,511
 
Food sounds yum x
 
A good day - had a wobble on my way home from work when I called at sainsburys to get some salad for tomorrow's lunch and they had caramel nibbles at £1 a bag. Was so tempted to get some but once I open them I can't stop till I've finished the whole bag and I've been having such a good week that I managed to resist.

breakfast - yogurt & granola
snack - pineapple, passion fruit and pistachios
lunch - sweet chilli chicken salad & mini naan
snack - 2 rice thins & cashew butter, apple
dinner - paprika chicken with fruity Cous cous
snack - lentil crisps
total cals - 1,419

One more day and I'll have done a whole week within my target cals :) Now need to finish off my steps for today - was stuck in work at lunchtime thanks to torrential rain so haven't quite managed them all yet. A bit of marching on the spot in front of the tv should sort it out!
 
I'm the same with caramel nibbles! I'd never be able to just eat a few. Well done for resisting :)
 
I know BeaBeas - they are manufactured by the devil himself! I'm just not having any at all for the next few weeks!

Food today:

Breakfast - yogurt & granola
snack - pineapple and passion fruit
lunch - prawn salad with sweet chilli sauce, mini Naan, boost
snack - 2 rice thins & cashew butter, apple
dinner - Thai chicken burger in ciabatta roll (yum but think I will still be tasting this tomorrow)
snack - lentil crisps
total cals: 1,408

stayed on track today but my god was it a battle this afternoon. I was really bored and fed up at work and my mind wandered off on its own and before i knew it, I was planning on buying more chocolate on the way home to cheer myself up - I'd already had a boost at lunch with my spare cals. I ate my snack early instead but the best thing I did was coming on here and (sneakily!) reading a few posts - that really helped so will def do that again when I need to.

Friday tomorrow - I am ready for it!
 
An easier day today - no wobbles!

Breakfast - yogurt & granola
snack - pear, 2 rice thins & cashew butter
lunch - prawn salad with sweet chilli sauce, mini Naan
snack - lentil crisps
dinner - Smoked haddock & lemon risotto with a poached egg
snack - WW frozen brownie dessert
total cals: 1,266
 
Right, I've just weighed in and have STS - I know it's down to TOTM but I'm still annoyed!!

So time to focus on the bigger picture - I've just completed 4 weeks so here's my month end summary:

weight lost: 8lbs
so an average of 2lbs per week - excellent as I've worked out my cals based on 1-1.5lbs per week

body fat % decrease: 1.7%
so by my (rough) calculations that's 5.5lbs of fat lost, so 69% of my loss is fat - also excellent! Another 1% and I'll be in the acceptable range

cms lost:
Upper arm - 1cm
bust -2cm
ribcage - 1cm (where my bridesmaid dress is tight - wouldn't normally measure here)
waist - 4cm
hips - 3cm
thigh - 1 1/2cm
Above knee - 1 1/2cm
widest bit (saddlebags on the outer thighs!) - 4 1/2cm
so a total of 18 1/2cm!!

I've got another 3 weeks to the wedding so am aiming to get another 2cm off my waist and hips, and 1cm off my rib cage so I can breathe in my dress!

And it would be nice to get to a stone off (halfway) by then too. I should be able to lose 6lb in 3 weeks if I continue to lose at the same rate (plus am owed a big week as I've been an angel this week but haven't lost anything)!

Ive never done a month end report before but thought that writing all this down would help me realise how far I've come in a short space of time and I can re-read it next time I'm struggling or get a STS and feel grumpy about it (as per this morning)!
 
Fantastic numbers belle, well done x
 
Thanks :). Good motivation to keep going.

i should also have added that I've only had 2 binges in 4 weeks - previously it was probably 12+ a month so a huge improvement. I'm also much fitter and stronger than I was 4 weeks ago so I feel much better in myself.

Ive done well today:
breakfast - Weetabix minis & yogurt
lunch - ciabatta roll & 1slice Parma ham & 30g mozzarella, lentil crisps
snack - raspberries & Choc mousse
dinner - sea bass, Cous cous, green beans & toasted almonds

going to the cinema in a few mins so have planned to have a small glass red wine and am taking some snack-a-jacks with me. That will take me to 1,414 cals for the day.
 
Here to subscribe. Really have enjoyed reading your diary. x
 
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