Never feels enough

Zoe.D

loving life
I am feeling a bit down in the dumps and don't quite know how to snap out of it. It's a long story but basically I feel like I am never going to be satisfied with my weightloss.

I never thought I would ever lose 10st, be in a size 14 nearing a 12 and get back to the way I used to be so it's an absolute dream come true but now I have the bulk of it off and I have 11lbs left to go I feel like it's not going to be enough. It's not because I am unhappy with my weight but because in society's eye's I am still overweight. At goal weight I will still be classed as overweight and my bmi will be 27. I feel I will be slim enough but just wish I was in the "normal" category. There are people starting this diet at the weight I am now or even at my goal weight and it makes me think I havn't done well enough :sigh:

I know they are only figures and it's how we feel that matters but it's really bugging me and I don't think I can go any lower as I am really longing to get back to a normal way of eating again and to not be constantly worried about the number on the scales. I was this weight when I met my Husband and felt happy then so I don't know why I'm so worried about it. This last stone seems to be taking forever to, as I am working up the plans and it's slowing right down.

People are saying to me, if you compare yourself to how you used to look to how you look now you have done so well but I just want to look good regardless of it comparing to how I used to be - does that make sense? My god I am winging so I will shut up now, just needed to get that off my chest and ask for your thoughts :(.
 
my god you've done amazing so far what an acheivement just aim for goal now and the next goal then is to maintain lf your happy at goal thats all that matters my god your brillant
 
There does seem to be a pressure, even on here (an unwritten one!) that within a 20 -25 BMI range should be one's goal. I think that can be a bit off putting, I don't think in my life that my BMI has been below 25 but here I am aiming for a goal of less than 25! In my heart of hearts I don' think I'll ever reach that and to be honest that makes me feel a bit defeated before I've even began.

So I understand where you're coming from, however you have doen FANTASICALLY well. I think you need to look at some old photos, do you still have any big clothes? Get them out, look at them and remember what it was like before CD. Remind yourself how far you've come, and there's nothing to stop you trying to lose a bit more IF you want to! It's completely up to you babe, whatever you choose to do, remember that only you did what you did, you're amazing.
 
Congratulations on your fab weight loss! What I have in the back of my mind to do when I have lost a decent amount of weight and see no other option than to join 'the real world' again, is to join weight watchers or slimming world, to get it right before the risk of getting back into bad habits, and help with the re-education of eating sensibly. Knowing me as I do, it would be very dangerous to just give up one diet completely without some sort of back up plan!!! Good luck with the rest of your journey xx
 
Get that last 11lbs off be at your goal and get the pressure to loose away from you for a while; get into sensible habits and just take some time to get used to your weight now and enjoy it! 10 stone is an incredible achievement, to be fitting into size 12s soon means your now in the same range as the majority of the population and back to the physical person you were when you met your hubby! Remember that BMI obviously varies from person to person and its never an exact science so who cares if you dont fall into the 'normal' range; besides the fact that more and more people now just dont anyway and its not a problem. I think once you get that last bit off the satisfaction of reaching your goal and allowing yourself to enjoy it for a while will give you the boost you need and also give you a while to re-evaluate whether you think you need to loose more. Try to remember the confidence and happiness you had when you met your husband and get him to tell you how he feels that your back to that stage cause i bet he loves it. Think positive! :)
 
Aww hugs for you hun!!

To be honest I am not going by the whole BMI thing, I was in a normal BMI range about 9 years ago and I actually looked like I was dying I was way too thin!!

I am going by how I personally feel and for me its at the 11-12 stone range.

I know at that weight, I looki good and feel confident, I dont need no stupid goverment guideline figures to put pressure on me to be that thin.

there is enough pressure as it is to be healthy without HAVING to fit into their guidelines!

Do as ou are doing you look fab and are absolutely gorgeous xxxxx
 
I think BMI is so subjective, it doesn't take into account build, muscle etc etc. It is far better to go by how you look and feel rather than be dictated to by numbers and the need to conform to the "norm". You have done fantastically well and I agree with the other posts that perhaps you should get to your original goal and pause for breath, get used to the new you and focus on maintaining.

xx
 
Zoe.... I can TOTALLY relate to you..and started a similar post on 1000 maintenance board recently

What i done a couple of weeks ago was kinda stop CD... and do my 'own' thing..and ya know what...its working. Im slowly....but surely seeing ME for ME and before was soooooooooo focused on getting to 'goal' (16 pounds away) i wasnt seeing what i had achieved already...which is amazing (ive just realised it lol)

Ive taken a step back from Cambridge... and not done SS+ for a while ive been 810'ing and portion control..its working.... the weight loss is v.v. slow....but surely. I personally needed this break away from CD (8 months on it is hard slog for anyone in my opinion even with breaks) to work out my 'thing' with food...and im getting there ..its gonna take a while i know that im not under any illusion its easy..and coming 'off' CD.... has been BLUDDY hard.. SS was SOOOOOOOOO easy!

Im not saying this is what you should do... but its working for me to focus on what ive achieved so far and to NOT be looking at the numbers on the scales..which is what i was doing before,.

I still want to get to 9'7......but it WILL take me longer than if i was on 810 100% but who cares? im in control and portions are too.

This is a life long 'thing' and i think we need to realise it took us years & years to get into the state we were PRE CD.... its gonna take some time for our heads to work out exactly what to do.

Im reading 'Eating Less' at the moment recommend on here by Gillian Riley... GOOD read xxxx
 
I bet you are the kind of person who brushes off compliments (like me.....Ohhh, you look really slim..........Me: what? look at my flabby belly etc. etc) - take some time to appreciate exactly how much you have achieved and how committed you have obviously been to have done it. Well done ;)

I agree with those who have said take some time to let your head catch up with your body - I still see myself as big even though I got into my 9 year old daughter's jeans the other day :eek: (she does wear them baggy though :rolleyes:)
 
You really shouldn't feel bad, you are an absolute inspiration. I agree that people do get too hung up on BMI, and your whole body image has completely changed in the last few months, it must surely take your head a while to get around all of that!

If you know you are at a good weight for you, then I would take some time maintaining and getting used to the new you. There's plenty of time later for deciding whether you want to lose a few more pounds or not!

And never forget that for people like me at the start of their journey, people like you are amazing and truly life saving inspirations. :)
 
Thank you so much girls, your comments really have made me feel so much better and in a way relieved. I will lose my last 11lbs and if it's slower because I am moving up the plans then so be it. I know I should start trusting my gut instinct and go with how I feel but to hear you guys talk about bmi and the "norm" not being the be all and end all really has made me feel soooo much better about it all.

I start the 1000 plan tomorrow so it will back onto some of the foods I havn't had for a long time but my head is in the right place to deal with it and I am determined that food will not control my life. Thanks again guys, you lot are fantastic and I don't know what I would have done without minimins xxx.
 
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