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New Diary, New Start

Kaitlyn

Full Member
S: 20st0lb G: 12st0lb
#1
Hi

I have a diary somewhere else on here. But I logged in today and it's been over a year since I was last on here! I read my old diary, and I was so sure that I would do it that time. But I have failed yet again. And I just don't feel able to use that diary now.

I feel as though I have let myself down, and let down all the lovely people who seemed so supportive of all my previous attempts. I just feel so bad and I appologise to all those people I made promises to.

This time, though, I'm not looking at the bigger picture. I am not counting down how much I have to lose because it is just so daunting, so scary. And so, instead, I am going to look at the little blocks. I am going to look at the small, manageable half stones that will go in to making up my big, unmentionable goal.

In fact, I'm not even going to think about my weight or the total loss needed. I will just concentrate on the positive, achieved weight lost. Hopefully, that will be more motivational.

And so, by the end of the month, I am hoping to lose 7lb. Which is fine, manageable and completly not scary.

Actually, it is scary. But over the last year, I have had a general loss, so 7lb in 24 days is doable. Surely?

I've made a good start. My monthly big pay day shop was good, with lots of healthy, yummy food to take in to work and not a single bar of chocolate, packet of crisps or biscuits in my whole trolley. It was so good, in fact (and didn't cost me a fortune) that I have even managed to take nice, healthy food in to work.

I was going to start going to the local leisure centre gym. But my car has just cost me an absolute fortune and there is no way I can afford to do so this month. I was so excited about it. I will be hoping to do so either next month or January (depending on finances).

I live somewhere rather rural now, and have even toyed with the idea of taking up jogging through the country lanes and down by the canal, but I'm not sure I have the confidence for that just yet. Who knows, maybe a few month in to this?
 
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