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fatchic

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Hi guys, Im ally. ive never really done one of these things before so i have no idea how it works or anything...so i guess ill just explain a bit about me. im 19 years old, and have struggled with eating for years. currently im 5'5 and 167 lbs, which i know is crazy. i look at myself and all i see is obesity, and it limits me from doing a lot of things because i feel liek wherever i go, people are staring at me because i am so fat. all my friends are thin, and theyre all so pretty..and i feel like the odd one out. ive tried diets and counting calories an everything..and often im good for a few days, and then it leads me to crazy binges. and when i say that i dont just mean a little, i mean like really out of this world ones. i really would like to get my weight and everything under control and i would appreciate ANY support, advice, anything..of how to eat healthy, what i should be eating/exercising, how to control binges..its almost gotten to the point where i dont even know whats normal to eat for each meal ive messed it up so badly. anyways any help would be appreciated! thanks guys!
 
Oh Ally, I want to give you a big hug!!
First of all, while you are technically overweight- you are NOT obese, so get that out of your head. To get within a 'healthy' weight range for your height you would need to get under 10st 10lb- a loss of just over a stone, which is NOT a huge amount in the grand scheme of things? To put it into perspective for you- at 19 I was 5ft2", 17 1/2st and morbidly obese- i.e. I was in danger of dying from my weight!
Now, thats the mini-lecture over (I hope I didn't offend you?!). You say you've tried diets and calorie counting before? I hope I'm not being presumptious, but my guess is they were 'faddy' diets and you were restricting your cals as much as you could? I'm assuming this because you say yourself these times only led to massive binges, which to me says you were really denying your body of nutrients and the reaction was to crave the foods you were restricting? Please correct me if I'm wrong?
After 30+yrs of 'dieting' I'm only now realising you don't need to starve yourself, or eat certain foods to lose weight. It's pretty simple math- If you use (burn) more calories than you eat then you'll lose weight. But- theres a snag- you need a certain amount of calories a day for your body to function properly. If you google BMR Calculator it'll tell you how many calories you need each day. If you don't do much exercise, and are pretty much a couch potato, then multiply that number by 1.2 to find out how much you burn/use each day. Thats all a bit technical though.
To lose weight it depends on what you want to do? Do you just want to make better food choices, or calorie count?
As you have so little to lose I'd say by making a few small changes you could lose quite quickly without really trying, if that makes sense?
Cut out takeaways/processed foods (ready meals, packets etc.), try to eat as 'fresh' as possible- especially with meat/fish?, avoid sauces & gravies unless you know they're low-fat, use herbs & spices to flavour your foods, (obviously) avoid crisps/choc/biscuits or at least swap them for healthier alternatives like oat/rice cakes, treat-size bars (no mor than 1 a day though!) or low-fat biscuits. Try to get a little exercise at least once a day (30min walk is the recommended amount?)
Try not to compare yourself to your friends? I know it's not easy, especially when you're all out clubbing or shopping together, but try to accept that everyone has a size for them- and who knows- they could be skinny but miserable because they never allow themselves to relax around food? It's not the enemy, a little of something never made anyone fat, it's about learning when to eat what you want, and what it is that you're eating?
Sorry if I waffled a bit? I hope I helped a little? I'm not sure which way you want to go so I tried to cover all bases?
 
Thank you so much! none of that offended me whatsoever, trust me i need all the help i can get. in the past i have used somewhat faddy diets, but then i have also tried things like weight watchers which isnt totally restricting..i just feel like im good for a while whether its a few days or a few weeks, and then i totally fall off track and i dont know why! i dont really eat fast food or take out stuff, i think its more just the binges always set me back days or weeks, and the main thing is, i just dont know proper amounts of food you know? ive always heard from my mom "ally are you sure you want more" or "ally youre not eating enough" its always one or the other with me, ive just done so many diets and calorie counting and everything that im not even sure what a normal person my weight/height would eat when theyre trying to lose. i do a decent amount of exercise already so i mean im somewhat healthy, just overweight. and the thing that is also really hard is i see myself as much much much bigger than i am (apparently). i look at myself in the mirror (which i hate, yet im obsessed with) and all i see is literally obesity. and when im out im constantly thinking people are looking at me thinking wow that girl is massive, when in reality as my mother has told me countless amounts of times, thats really super egotistical. i just hate the way that i look and in turn it makes me feel so terrible about myself that i forget that there are good things..if that makes any sense? i just dont know what to do anymore im soooo frustrated and blahhhh!
 
Hi Ally, welcome! I'm new too but I've dieted oh so many times over the past 15 years and I thought I'd just mention one thing that's become really clear to me recently.

I just realised the reasons for which I used to (positive thinking!) overeat and binge, and to me that really cleared up a lot of stuff. For me, it was just taking over my life and not letting food control it. Sort of a form of power and control, if you will. I've seen lots of inspirational quotes on here and one that really made an impression on me was "If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the solution". I think that says a lot.

You've hardly any weight to lose, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I for one am 50 pounds heavier than you at a similar height and people don't consider me "obese" yet I am technically. So give yourself a break and see this as a fulfilling challenge and journey, that is, if you're really ready for it. If you're not committed, it probably won't work. This reminds me of another quote: "If you keep doing what you always did, you'll get what you always got".

I don't know if this is relevant to you but I read this and it nearly made me cry when I came to certain realisations: http://www.minimins.com/strugglers-restarters/23697-interesting-article-emotional-eating.html.

Hope that helps :) Good luck!
 
Hi Ally,

If you've done weightwatchers for a while and it worked then you can lose weight. Just because you fall off track once it's not all over. So what? you've gone off track. We've all done it and we'll all do it again. If you go off track, you get back on again, it's not the end of the world, it's not even the end of the diet, it's just a little blip. Good luck.

Tracey
 
Thanks!! it definitley is a lot about control...and then i guess i let myself get too out of control when i dont see the results right away, even though i know how crazy that sounds. i have a very all or nothing personality, and in terms of eating i either stick to my diet obsessiveley for a day, or if i eat one thing that i perceive as bad, even if its not, my mentality is to go completley in the other direction and eat as much crap as i possibly can that day...not a good situation at all. i just want to be able to control my eating and not feel so terrible...in reality i guess im not really that overweight, but i dont see it. i see myself as massive, and im not just saying that..i really look at myself and cant see one positive, attractive thing. ahhh
 
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