New member to lipotrim
- Thread starter Dodge09
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bigmuthabluffa
Full Member
Hi Dodge how has day one gone for you?
est advice is get to bed as early as you can to get through the evening, but make sure you ave had enough water first :}
est advice is get to bed as early as you can to get through the evening, but make sure you ave had enough water first :}
Teapot
Gold Member
I'm on my 6th day, but it's about my 6th TFR, they're the only diets I cope with. Trouble is I get to 4stoneish off, people start commenting and I give up!
This time I'm hoping to do better though
how did today go for you?
Nic I know that feeling too and have been in a similar situation several times when people start noticing. I'm torn between needing people to notice and wanting to stay invisible for longer. I'm entering the danger zone at the moment where normally the will power is waning and the compliments are coming. Not feeling the need to pack it in this time just yet but I'm very aware. Crossing fingers for both of us
Nic1559
Full Member
Nic I know that feeling too and have been in a similar situation several times when people start noticing. I'm torn between needing people to notice and wanting to stay invisible for longer. I'm entering the danger zone at the moment where normally the will power is waning and the compliments are coming. Not feeling the need to pack it in this time just yet but I'm very aware. Crossing fingers for both of us
Really hoping you break through that barrier this time, it's horrible isn't it. It's like the weight's a force field that protects you from the world. Being fat, people are careful ( in general) about mentioning weight so as not to upset you. Once they find you're on a diet you become ripe pickings for comments on appearance.
You're doing so well - hopefully the support on here will help us get through it. And at least I know one other person won't think I'm weird for saying "feeling really upset, 3 people commented on my weight loss today " or something equally unusual!
Teapot
Gold Member
Thanks Nic, I'm trying to stay positive and really believe I can do it this time. Like a tortoise shedding it's shell, the protection gets peeled away and is really scary. I deffo won't think you're weird although I look back through some of my posts and wonder if everyone thinks I'm crackers! Hehe x x x
bigmuthabluffa
Full Member
hi guys I am with you on the compliment thing, I have been there a few times and I have done alot of thinking about it, so here are my theories
Compliments although are nice to receive just cement the fact that while I was fat I wasn't good enough for people to notice.
Compliments are about my weight loss and not about me, meaning again I am not being complimented just the lack of fat.
Compliments sometimes come with a how did you do it, and that means the person only wants to know my secrets not me.
Compliments are also sometimes from healthy and thin people who try to compare themselves with my war against fat, and this is just annoying because they haven't got a *&%$^%$ clue.
More personally, Compliments are not something I am used to and I still don't feel worthy of them, that then makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I then thing the self sabotage comes in because I want to be accepted as a 'fattie' in the same way as a 'thinnie', also because I am not comfortable getting the compliments one sure fire way of not getting any is being fat again, so it is my hidey place.
Bit deep maybe for a morning but this is how it effects me,
This time however I am ready for all the psycological warfare as well as the physical warfare,
I am not healthy when I am Fat, that is the bottom line, people will always have opinions, good or bad about how I lose the weight or how I look,
I am fed up with hiding behind my fat suit, so from now on people can have their opinions, I am going to accept the compliments as opinions and keep on my journey to healthiness
Compliments although are nice to receive just cement the fact that while I was fat I wasn't good enough for people to notice.
Compliments are about my weight loss and not about me, meaning again I am not being complimented just the lack of fat.
Compliments sometimes come with a how did you do it, and that means the person only wants to know my secrets not me.
Compliments are also sometimes from healthy and thin people who try to compare themselves with my war against fat, and this is just annoying because they haven't got a *&%$^%$ clue.
More personally, Compliments are not something I am used to and I still don't feel worthy of them, that then makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I then thing the self sabotage comes in because I want to be accepted as a 'fattie' in the same way as a 'thinnie', also because I am not comfortable getting the compliments one sure fire way of not getting any is being fat again, so it is my hidey place.
Bit deep maybe for a morning but this is how it effects me,
This time however I am ready for all the psycological warfare as well as the physical warfare,
I am not healthy when I am Fat, that is the bottom line, people will always have opinions, good or bad about how I lose the weight or how I look,
I am fed up with hiding behind my fat suit, so from now on people can have their opinions, I am going to accept the compliments as opinions and keep on my journey to healthiness
Teapot
Gold Member
hi guys I am with you on the compliment thing, I have been there a few times and I have done alot of thinking about it, so here are my theories
Compliments although are nice to receive just cement the fact that while I was fat I wasn't good enough for people to notice.
Compliments are about my weight loss and not about me, meaning again I am not being complimented just the lack of fat.
Compliments sometimes come with a how did you do it, and that means the person only wants to know my secrets not me.
Compliments are also sometimes from healthy and thin people who try to compare themselves with my war against fat, and this is just annoying because they haven't got a *&%$^%$ clue.
More personally, Compliments are not something I am used to and I still don't feel worthy of them, that then makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I then thing the self sabotage comes in because I want to be accepted as a 'fattie' in the same way as a 'thinnie', also because I am not comfortable getting the compliments one sure fire way of not getting any is being fat again, so it is my hidey place.
Bit deep maybe for a morning but this is how it effects me,
This time however I am ready for all the psycological warfare as well as the physical warfare,
I am not healthy when I am Fat, that is the bottom line, people will always have opinions, good or bad about how I lose the weight or how I look,
I am fed up with hiding behind my fat suit, so from now on people can have their opinions, I am going to accept the compliments as opinions and keep on my journey to healthiness
Well said and great incite! You're absolutely right. Not feeling worthy in a constant nag inside my head. I still haven't worked out why I put myself in the position of being the 'martyr' all the time for the good of everyone else, and nobody else acknowledges the martyrdom or appreciates it. The never-ending hiding to nothing I keep giving myself has got to stop, even if I have to consciously override it until my head cooperates. It is like going to war with yourself, and I hate conflict, especially with myself!!!! Time to sort our heads out ladies!!! x x x
totes.lipo
Shake that thing girl!
That's actually a brilliant post bigmutha. I too often wondered why I was sabotaging MYSELF. Ur theories resonate deeply with me. I've always been big, no one knows me any different. But when I lost that 7st a few years I was suddenly 'real'. Everyone took notice. Had an opinion.complimented. quizzed. And then I started to ease up a bit .... a bit? .... and gained it all back and stones and stones more. I had felt so good being smaller. I was full of Confidence and felt so accepted. There were uncountable perks honestly. But when it crept back on .... I faded into non existence again. No compliments just looks. No acceptance just indifference, I'm invisible. No confidence just paranoia. I can clearly see the massive changes... but what I can't answer is, if I loved that time being slimmer and class it as the happiest times of my life .... why have I done this again? Its surely not possible to want to be miserable? To cry urself to sleep? Nobody knows so im not getting attention for it. So what have I been doing? And why do I keep having the thoughts to sabotage myself over and over? .... I need to figure that out. Thats the key to it all. X
totes.lipo
Shake that thing girl!
Sorry I meant to post this in ur DEEP THOUGHTS thread bigmuthabluffa. Oops! X
bigmuthabluffa
Full Member
U can answer all these, in fact u know the answer, look at it this way on a different level I have had friends go through cancer, they know at some point people will look and stare due to the physical differences there treatments creates, however hard that is going to be for them they do it anyway because they want to be healthy.
Take the same thought we are goin to have to deal with all sorts from all sorts but mainly ourselves, and for me I want to be healthy and refuse to allow myself to stop me from achieving that just because of a little internal conflict.
Being big is mainly all I know even though I was not like that as a younger girl, it is a nasty comfort zone that has lied to me for years, I have discovered these lies and will not listen any more,
U will get there hun
totes.lipo
Shake that thing girl!
Feels to me like I've been invisible so long that I'm afraid of actually existing on an active level. Participating in life. A friend of mine recently invited me to take our kids away for the day and I said to her 'would u not be embarrassed walking around with me? ', and she just looked shocked and said that thought had never crossed her mind. So ya, a lot of it is an internal dialogue with urself. Truth is if u want something u have to do it for urself. No one can do it for nor stop u. On that note, the only one that can actually stop me is ME. mad isn't it.
bigmuthabluffa
Full Member
Most of our problems although they may have been started by someone else or another situation, only stay with us and control us because we let them.
I understand the whole not wanting to be seen too, it is a tricky one but can be understood and then it is such a relief.
Nic1559
Full Member
Gosh, all these things being said really resonate with me, all those insecurities ring true. I'm going to re-read this and try and get to the bottom of where my feelings come from and think about how next time I can beat the feelings to keep the weight off. It's so good to have a frank chat about this, as I never would in real life.
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