new to forum but not to this


New Member
S: 16st6lb C: 16st1lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st5lb(2.17%)
Hello everyone. This looks like a really nice, supportive community. And, yikes, I feel I need that :)

I'm new here, and I've just re-started the Cambridge Weight Plan - been on it for a week now, but I forgot how much people judge you if they see you dieting. The amount of people who'll tell you it's not healthy, you'll never keep the weight off, why are you doing that etc etc etc is *unbelievably* depressing.

So I really wanted to find somewhere I could talk about this and not be shamed for it. It feels like this massive social lose/lose situation whereby everyone treats you badly if you're fat AND they treat you badly if you try to do something about it.

Eek, I sound really angry, haha. I didn't realise I was so upset until I wrote it out.

Anyway, the history here is that I was kinda fat as a child, but really incredibly skinny as a teenager, and looking back with the knowledge I have now as a grown up (I'm 30-something), probably because I had an eating disorder. I just ... barely ate, and that was because family life was horrible: my father drank too much, my mother was a depressive. Blah. Anyway, I left home, got to university, suddenly became happy. Started to eat. And so eating became kind of associated with being happy for me - and it took about ... maybe ... seven years for eating to catch up with me. Like I got fatter, for sure, but actually I went from looking unhealthy to looking not unhealthy (I mean, I'm really short so I was definitely curvy at a size 14 or 16, but not necessarily in an 'oh that's definitely a fat person' way).

But by the time I was approaching 30 I was up to a size 18, had basically no control over my eating habits, and was in quite bad health too. So I went on the Cambridge Diet and it was super successful or me. I got down to size ten. Yay! It was an amazing moment in my life.

Aaaaand then I just ... lost control of everything again. It took me another few years to admit it and face up to it, but I'm not only back to where I started but I'm *worse*. And I should say, I don't think this is the diet (I know everyone says, oh if you go on a diet, you'll just put it back on, but that's because I hadn't the right sort of psychological work last time round to maintain properly) but I think the problem was that one I started putting weight back on, I just despaired, and knowing I'd have to climb the hill again ... I totally let myself go.

And if I thought being a size 18 was bad, being bigger than that has been awful. In terms of just general health ... stuff you don't really thinking about, like ... oh it's all a bit gross, but when your thighs rub together so much when you walk, it's uncomfortable all the time. Ugh. And the strain on your body whenever you trying to do anything.

Sorry that's a massive story about me. But I hope here at least it'll make sense to people. If you've stuck with it this far, thank you so much for reading. I'd really love to find some diet-friends to make this journey that I'm taking a second time less lonely!
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S: 11st12lb C: 11st12lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Hi Annie. Well done on the first week of the CAMBRIDGE PLAN. If u have done it successfully once then that’s a huge incentive and motivation to know you CAN do it again!
I’m starting day 1 tomorrow. ( Sunday). X