Step 1 Sole Source Nikie's return....again

Nikie

Nikie

Silver Member
Well, here we are again.

On the 6 September 2012 I started the CWP and by 26 November had lost just over 3 stone. I was feeling fabulous for my 30 birthday....then came Christmas, trips to Wales, Prague and Finland and by January I had gained a few pounds......I didn't ever properly go back on CWP just a few days here and then and as a result I gained a couple of stone back.

In April I began a new job, which I love, but with it came a new routine and I always stuggle with change. It was so easy to go out for lunch with the girls rather than have a shake...as a result my weigh has increased (and bank balance decreased!) but then came the biggest change of all.

My fiance and best friend of 10 years ended our relationship and engagement just over two months ago.

It has been hard. And food and booze have been my crutch. I have not stopped eating and have drank at least a bottle of wine EVERY NIGHT since this happened. My skin is crap, I am puffy, my stomach and body is disgusting and basically I need to wake up. I'm hardly going to get him back like this right?! I have been to the doctors and they have said that the amount I drink isn't a problem in the circumstances....its whether or not I can stop. And I don't know if I can. Booze is a massive part of why we broke up as well.

I have become good friends with my CWC and we are going to restart this together. I don't know my starting weight but am going over there in an hour to have my first weigh in. Will update stats then.

I am looking forward to getting my confidence back. I feel so ugly and worthless. I have pics on here from when I did it last time and I got some many great comments, I really need to feel like that again.

I appreciate that the above is all a bit, well, serious! But as I add to this diary you will see that I am (was?) a fun, bubbly person who have just been dealt a rubbish hand of late. I need support to get through these next few months and look forward to sharing my journey with you all.

Niki xxxx
 
hi there

your nowing taking the first steps to getting yourself back on track, i wish you all the luck in the world. we all start some where and now is as good a time to get your sparkle back, take one day at a time you can do it.my advice is dont do this to win your ex back do it to get yourself back first, the see where the pieces fall.
jenxx
 
Thanks Jen...you are completely right I know. I think I'm in the place where I just want him back...don't think anyone else would want me etc etc. But by the time I am 3 stone lighter more time will have passed and I'm I'll be feeling very differently.x
 
Wow nikie I just found your photos you did amazing!! Your whole body shape changed.
Sorry to hear your having a rough time of it :( it must be hard your OH left but do this for yourself not him!! You never know what's round the corner :) xx
 
Yeah I am using the pics as my inspiration this time! I have done it once and can certainly do it again!
 
the pic of you is fab i think once you get your mojo back it ll be ex? smex! only other thing id add being thin doesn t make you fabulous your that already
jx
 
Thank you ladies! Feeling more positive already! I'm in Woking at the mo, although thats the house I own with my ex so will be moving out shortly once we sort the finances out.x
 
Nearly through day 1! Work kept me busy so I wasn't tempted to eat during the day and I was worried about this evening. Actually feeling a bit low about things tonight so don't have much of an appetite so it's quite easy to just have a shake!

Can't wait to feel/look better!!
 
Day 2! Nearly over! Just having my last shake of the day and then it's water for the rest of the evening. What do you guys do to 'avoid' eating? Read a book? Have a bath? x
 
So....day 5! I am so confident about doing this now. Last time my worse day was something like day 14! So I know I'm not through the worst yet. I'm living in the same house as my ex at the moment....we own it jointly and I'm in the spare room. Difficult situation as I need to move out (viewing some places this weekend) but as I pay half the mortgage he really needs to buy me out before I go....and he is dragging his heels. I work in law so I know what needs to be done but he doesn't seem to believe me.

Anyways.....he went out with his mates last night and didn't come home. We aren't kids....he's 34 and never usually stays out all night. I know that he spent the night with someone else. It hurts. But it's what I needed to move on myself. Not in terms of meeting someone else but in terms of getting myself sorted out.

So I'm really determined today and excited for the next few months to pass Quickly so I can be my new healthier self and start living my new life.
 
Thanks Moorewillpower......I think the thing I am actually most proud of (and relieved about?) is That I havent touched a drop of alcohol in 5 days! And I don't even want it! From someone who hadn't gone a day without alcohol for about 4/5 months that is a massive accomplishment :)
 
nikie you are doing fantastically in lots of areas just keep up the good work and you ll be feeling like the confident happy girl you are
jx
 
Hi Niki!

You are I are were friends last year - we both started at around the same time!

I am so sorry to hear about you and your fiance. You have taken a massive step in the moving on process by rejoining and I can tell that you are determined again. You were a superstar last year and I've no doubts you're going to be the same again.

As my wee Granny used to say to me; 'what's for you won't go passed you' !! Life is full of changes, choices, surprises and shocks and the reason for them may not be immediately apparent but in time, you'll know why all that's happened happened.

Onwards and upwards girl! You're going to be fab!

Lxxxxxxxxx
 
Laura I just responded on your other thread! Of course I remember you!

Thank you for your kind words...... All of you......I am so determined and have been 100% since I started on Tuesday. My ex has left beers in the fridge but I'm ignoring them and sticking to my water :)
 
So.....drumroll please! I lost 11 lbs!
 
Nikie my darling i remember u!! Omg im so so sorry about your breakup but this will give u something to focus on! Lovely to see a friendly face.i.restart tom.wowzers well done on ure 11lbs! Lots of love xxx
 
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