We have a long tradition of waking the dead especially here in the west of Ireland.
My mother was one of the women who would help out preparing the body along with other women in the neighbourhood.
So when her time came she had me well rehearsed on how to do it and what she wanted to wear as we discussed it fully.
When she died after nine grueling weeks of being bed ridden dieing from lung cancer. I went in to automatic pilot and with the help of the hospice nurse and her neighbours who were also nurses we got her all ready in her favourite dress that my dad liked on her. She wore her pearl earing's and necklace and I did her hair the way she wore it going out for the night and I put some lipstick on and a little on her checks...just as she always had done herself.
One of the things she had said was to make sure I plucked all the chin hairs before anyone saw her, so there I am plucking these chin hairs that you could hardly see but feel under your finger tip as she had insisted that they be got rid off!
The nurses were just looking at me and God only knows what was going through their head, but we were a strange family at the best of times so what was new
My mother had everything from the candles, cross and all the bits for the table beside her bed and all this old white linen that she was so fond of and had used herself many a time to dress the beds of the dead.
So now it was her time for it to be used...Dad had died ten months before and he died in hospital and he was in his coffin and that was probably the way he would of wanted it, no fuss and to go out quietly.
So she was laid out on the bed in her dress and finery and I had convinced her to leave her wedding band on as she had always worn it and it held such sentimental value to her...the other thing was an old coin with the date of the year they got married on it and it was in a little plastic pouch and she wanted this in her hands.
My mother loved flowers and in days gone by when there was no such thing a floweriest she would hand make beautiful wreaths and flower arrangements for the dead and the living as she was a keen gardener herself. So now here room was filled with tulips and daffodils and with all sorts of roses and baskets of flowers that her friends, family and good neighbours had sent her and arrived at the house laden down with.
She looked beautiful when she was laid out and very much at peace and everyone tells me to this day she made a lovely corpse!
I Know my mum would of been happy with how well she looked.
I took photos of both my parents after they died and I do find comfort in them as they did look at peace and I think they found the peace they were looking for most of their lives, but sadly I don't think they ever found. I feel the photos did help me come to terms with them gone and both looked very well and I guess that does make a difference as well.
Love Mini xxx