Not getting anything from the meetings?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by futureyummymummy, 6 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Lean in 15
    Hi, right the problem I'm having is I'm getting absolutely nothing from the meetings, my group hasn't gelled well and it's just a crappy experience. Anyway I can't change groups as the others are at times/days I can't make and I refuse to quit but I'm feeling really de-motivated about it all hence the problems I've had lately.

    Just wondering if anyone else feels like this or wether it's just me.

    I don't know wether some of my problem is that I find it insanely hard to make friends and even just chat to people because of confidence issues?

    Emma xXx
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    AW, sorry its like that FYM. Is there anyone in there you feel kind of close to - that you could form an allegiance? If you have trouble meeting new people - and a lot of us do - maybe singling out someone you are comfy with, will then draw the others in too.

    Sometimes we need to push outside of our comfort zone - it may be they are feeling much the same way. So maybe if you bolster up the nerve and break the ice by discussing that in group. I know it would be hard - but it'd be an exercise, and may pull the group closer together, which is important.

    I was lucky - my group was good aside from 1 or 2 sniggly issues a few had with a few, all got on well, and that does make a difference.

    Hang in there - ask for what you need from ytour group though - if you need more from them or your LLC, speak up - its your cash you are dolling out each week - be sure to get something out of it if it will help you.

    If you are able to shut them out and carry on in an 'individual' journey rather then a group one - that may be a way forward too.

    Sorry its like that for you and hope it changes.

    Just remember - you always have this group. :)

  4. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

    LighterLife for Men (VLCD)
    Im guessing that this is where the difference between the sexes comes into play; from what I gather from reading posts on here, you ladies seem to rely on the group aspect of LL, making new friends, the journey together etc.

    Obvisouly I cant speak for other guys on here, but I know that I am the opposite to that; as much as I get on with the other guys in my group, I don't feel in any way that I require them to be there for me to succeed. I guess part of that is that there are so few of us, for the last 3 weeks there has only been me and 1 other guy at the meeting.

    I go to hear what my LLC has to tell me, talk to him about anything I need to, and that's all. I find I only hear from the other guys what I've said/though/am thinking anyway.

    I've come away from several meetings thinking they were a bit of a waste, but those were the ones where he didn't do any of the TA or CBT stuff, being sciencey that's what I find really intrguing about LL (hence why I read up on the entire program before I even started it! :p ) so the meets where it's just having a 'chat' I find a waste, as the other guys are not very open and only talk about things that I already know anway and quite often have posted about on here or talked to my family about weeks before they bring it up (OK, so thats a very big-headed thing for me to say, but its been true every week so far).

    The one thing I am greatful about thge group aspect for is that it has actually shown me how well I can do something I put my mind to and how thorough and determined I am, by giving me other people who are doing the exact same thing to compare myself agasint.

    The "changing your mentality" stuff is what I go to the meetings for, not the group aspect and and as BL says, perhaps that would be a good approach for you too, look at it as just going as part of your individual journey?
  5. saz343

    saz343 Full Member

    I do feel the same as you. So change to the tuesday meeting probably wouldnt help much. Do you think it may be the LLC?
  6. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....


    Aw! Em, hugs hun!

    I started Developers last night and I cant really say that I really developed an instant bond with my group. They were quite clicky! The girl who was supposed to join developers with me from my foundation group was off sick. So I was newbie alone in the corner!

    Hopefully we'll start gelling in the coming weeks. I'm just glad I have you lovely Minimins people to keep me afloat!

    Remember Emma, we are always here (some of us who should be working but is avoiding the pile of filing that has recently been place behind us!!) And I am sure that you will gain confidence as time goes on!

    B x
  7. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member


    Sorry you are having that experience - or lack of it - maybe your LLC isn't very expereinced or confident delivering the CBT/TA programme.
    If you have personal issues that need to be addressed you can be referred for CBT
    on the NHS by your GP, but in relation to food issues it is built in as part of the LL programme and you are paying a lot of money for it. For me it is the aspect that has made such a difference.
    If I was you I would discuss it privately with the LLC and tell her how you feel.
    Hope it works out. You've been doing it
    for 6 weeks now so should be well into it.
    The book is good, but the group stuff has helped lots of people in our groups.:gen126:
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