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O/T Feeling really miserable :(

Mrs V

Loves Life!
#1
:cry:Morning all.

Well yesterday and today, I feel like that fat kid at school that no one wanted to have join their team for sports.
In all my adult life, I have never felt this way...until yesterday.
Some of you may have read that I have decided through determination and exercise that I am hoping with some work collegues to do the National 3 Peaks Challenge next year (within 24 hours).
I was at the gym last night and spotted one of the other team members exercising...when he had finished he came over to have a chat and just happened to let slip that they have organised a weekend walk for the team :confused:...well hello, I thought I was part of the team? No one has said anything to me. Its been made perfectly clear that the team leader/organiser doesnt want me there as he thinks I will slow everyone down and we wont complete the challenge goal.

I am really upset by it and even typing this is making me well up. I also feel really angry too and dont know if I should just pull out of the whole thing, but still go to the gym.
This man has been making snide comments for as long as I can remember and normally I brush it off. :cry:
 
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jaylou

Gold Member
#2
Oh Mrs V, that is so sad. I really feel for you.
People can be so nasty - it can go one of two ways - either just carry on for yourself or prove the ******* wrong and go for it!!

The thing is, you don't want them saying things behind your back so probably best to confront him.

Big hug to you Mrs V. xx
 

squiddie

Starting Again!
#3
Well that is totally out of order. Firstly **hugs!**

If it was me, I would take the team leader aside and very calmly say; I heard there was a walk this weekend for the team, so just wondered where and when I need to be. See what they say - if they're not grown up enough to say anything to your face then that is there own fault - you have done nothing wrong. Keep going, stay motivated, don't let one a***ole upset you, and don't let them try and bully you out of something you want to do.

It's your life and don't ever let ANYONE make you feel bad about yourself, no-one has the right.

I hope you feel happier soon :hug99:

Natt xxx
 

bettylollypop

soon to be skinny minnie
#4
Hi Mrs V, so sorry, some people are just not very nice at all. You will know yourself that you wouldnt have signed up to this challange if you couldn't do it. You have to do it, it will make you feel amazing and it will prove that nasty piece of work wrong. Just you keep training honey and show him. I would also ask him why you were not informed about the weekend thing. And tell him that you will not be pulling out. Come on Mrs V, you can do this!!!!! xx
 

couteaux

Silver Member
#5
I'm so sorry you've been upset like this Mrs V. What an idiot! It really does sound like the school bully :(

Well.. you said the walk is next year? You have PLENTY of time to get really fit and in peak condition to do this walk in great time and show him what you're made of.

Don't let one foolish man ruin your plans - huge congrats to you for going for this, you are a stronger woman than me, don't let him make you feel otherwise xx you can do it!
 

Julianne_julz

Bears dont dig on dancin'
#7
Omg you have to go for it! Or I'll march over there and give him a chunk of my mind!! Gr! Some peopel have that nasty gene. I think you need to prove what an a*$e he is!! Find out when that walk is and go... You have all our support, we know you can do it. And I bet we've all had some t#@t "bully" us like that before... xxx
 

Donnie46

Slow but sure....
#8
Oh MrsV - I hate to think of you being upset by someone, you are much to nice for that.

Sending you love and hugs to help you through today. X
 
#9
It's strange how something like that can catapult you right back to school when you didn't have the guts to stand up for yourself and let people get away with it. Well, now you do have the guts! Make it very clear you WILL be completing this walk no matter what anyone says or thinks!
 
#10
What a low life he is. I agree with Natts' suggestions, try it and see what he has to say. Secondly, think of this as all out war, you can either be defeated by this scum bag or you can rise above him. There are always going to be people (and I use that term loosely) like him trying to upset and hurt others. What is he affraid off, that you will complete the course and show him up, well hun thats his problem and not yours. You grit your teeth give 100% and get on with the job in hand. don't lower yourself to his level and certainly don't let him stop you from joining in. He's certainly no better than anyone else and the sooner he realises you can act like an adult with pride and dignity and not be put off by his actions the better. You go along to the meeting and enjoy. xx
 

Mrs V

Loves Life!
#11
Thank you all! It made me cry reading all your lovely comments! I really appreciate it!

I am going to continue training regardless. I do happen to know that there are teams in the UK that open up to extra members, so maybe I can tag along with someone after all?!
At the moment I am too upset to confront him...I'll just end up blubbing when I would rather be strong and just get things out in the open. He is a bully, there is no other way of putting it.

Kerry-Ann
xx
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
#12
The miserable g*t! Let me know where he is and I'll come and give him a dressing down! Unfortunately I find that gyms and sometimes (I hate to say it!) slimming clubs can have their cliques (is that how it's spelt?) My OH joined a yacht club and no one spoke to me when we went, until they wanted me to man the bar! I told the "Commodore" where to put his bar! It was worth it just to see his face! I have said something similar at a golf club when I was a guest! No wonder I don't get asked back!
But you are trying to get fit and deserve every encouragement, it's predujice plain and simple and I'd do it just to spite him (probably with another team and then confront him! I'm not good at confrontation)
 
#14
Hi Mrs V, the leader sounds like a total #anker. Personally, I would not put myself through staying with the same shoddy group. I suggest finding an alternative, nicer, group and train with them. Then when you do it, you will feel great, but you also will not have had to spend a lot of time training with a bunch of unpleasant people. Take care and best wishes, Tracy
 

Melsy

Full Member
#15
Hi Mrs V,

I did the 3 peaks challenge in May, hope you have got some good walking boots and moisture wicking t shirts etc..? The kit is so important. It was a really hard, but great when we finished. I could hardly walk for the next 2 days!! LOL You will enjoy it and you can definately do it.

You really need to be able trust your team leader, once you get up to the top of those mountains it is serious business. People die up there.

When we was on top of Scarfell Pike it was snowy and arctic conditions.

Have a chat with the leader, clear the air and offer to do some extra training, if I was leading the walk and I was worried about someone's capabilities I'd be making sure they were coming on the practise walks to be sure that they know what they are getting in to definately not leaving them out. He sounds like an irresponsible team leader to me.

You all need to plan, first aid, support vehicles food and drinks together etc...

It doesn't sound like it's very well organised. Maybe you should do it with a different group? I'd challenge the leaders knowledge and skills to make sure he knows what he is doing.

Take care and keep us updated on your progress,
Mels xx
 

weemo

Trying again!!!
#16
(((hugs))) Mrs V ~ It's awful that someone can make you feel like this ~ when you are good and ready I would confront this bully and secondly this would make me even more motivated to keep on training and show them that you can do it! take care xx
 

Mrs V

Loves Life!
#17
Thank you again! Everyone on here is so lovely!
Yes, I have got the decent boots..bought those on Sat with Hubby and on Sunday climbed the Blorange (Black Mountains) in Wales in them...really comfy!!

I will keep the training going regardless, if nothing else, then I will at least run/jog the Race for Life!
Another colleague of mine who Im very good friends with, saw how upset I was and has offered to cycle to work with me in the mornings when I want to step up my programme - its 12 miles there and back up some steep hills, so I will gladly take him up on that offer as well.
On a plus note, I am about to loose my size 20 trousers! I havent been in them that long either! Yeah me!
My mum is benefitting from my size 28/30s and is still encouraging me to loose the weight, so that she can have my things! Lol
 


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