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O/T Need to have a moan

S: 19st5lb C: 17st1lb G: 16st0lb BMI: 38.6 Loss: 2st4lb(11.81%)
I'm on a proper downer today and thought where best to turn but here..

My half brother is a lot closer to me dad than am i.. which I have issues with, dont often say it but cover it up by calling him all names under sun.. basically my mum n dad got divorced when i was 8 month old.. saw me dad 4 times a year while i was younger now only twice a year, birthday/christmas..

he remarried, had James, but me dad n Jame's mum divorced as well.. but cos he's a fella spends more time with him than me.. cos im a girl i cant play rugby basically.. which is the sport that runs in that side of family..

well now, James has a gf, who i get on better with than James or anyone and she is lovely.. she doesnt take no crap from any one.. they recently got engaged which my dad put funds towards the party.. I got engaged a couple of year ago and all i got was a letter saying he wanted to talk to me n my then hubby to be.. which we have now split..

its coming up to my 30th and Ive said to mum, ask dad to chip in.. and shes like no cant do that.. but i dont see why she shouldnt.. he's never paid for anything towards me, never really been there for me.. i see him as mentioned above and if mums not there, there is no conversation between us cos i know nothing about him aopart from him liking rugby.. but why should I, his 1st born be left out when James only has to click his fingers and he gets.

I know your all prob thinking why bother he cant be bothered with u, which I do sometimes feel thats the case but part of me also feels left out cos i dont know any of my cousins etc.. and now James n Toni thinking of trying for a baby n just feel like shes gonna be the wonderful daughter in law n everything revolve around them.. how their baby gonna be best thing ever but can imagine when it comes to me having a family (when i do, i suffer with pcos as well) that its just not gonna get a look in..

Sorry for rambling on just needed to get it out my system
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S: 16st1lb C: 15st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 33.7 Loss: 0st10lb(4.44%)
((Huge hugs))) I'm sorry you feel like that. Would it be better to speak with your dad and get it out of your system or write a letter. It's better left said than unsaid huge hugs xx
S: 19st5lb C: 17st1lb G: 16st0lb BMI: 38.6 Loss: 2st4lb(11.81%)
I dunno hun.. I know part of me is probably jealous cos of James n Toni having that closer relationship than me and most times it doesnt bother me, but recently it has been.. I know me best mate would be saying why give 2 hoots about him when he doesnt u and i know he's right but just cant help feeling way I do..

I can remember once me cd player broke, mum couldnt afford to get me a new one straight away and so we asked dad he turned round n said no, but that weekend I saw him in town with shopping bags of playstation stuff, rugby kits etc but yet couldnt afford to buy me a £20/£30 cd player.. hmmm
S: 16st1lb C: 15st5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 33.7 Loss: 0st10lb(4.44%)
Remember we can't control how others are, and its nothing of your doing. It's whatever feels right for you maybe write a letter of your feelings and then just burn it. Your loved and that's what matters :) be strong xx
S: 19st5lb C: 17st1lb G: 16st0lb BMI: 38.6 Loss: 2st4lb(11.81%)
hmm might just do that babe.. will see how i feel when i get home.. xx

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