Off topic: Dating advice

[SerenityValley]

I know there are other sections on MM where this might be expected but LL is my home, and you guys have my back, so hopefully it's ok to ask this here instead.

I've not dated for a verrrry long time. Way too long. I've put off dipping my toes in the dating pool, largely down to a lack of confidence, largely based on my weight.

So I've lost the weight, gained many friends, and increased my confidence almost immeasurably. (It's a measure of how much it's improved that I'm asking this in public, rather than just in private).

I'm not sure what I am looking for, if anything at all. I want to date, not necessarily seriouslly at first. I have aprofile up somewhere and am now starting one somewhere else. I'm still quite nervous about approaching women but that's something I'm in the process of fixing because it ain't gonna happen if I don't work on that.

So how do others go about this? What do you look for in a guy online? How can I sell myself? (Apart from at the docks). I don't want to make an faux pas.

Will think about this more and post later but would be interested in any thoughts. I'm quite amazed that I'm wanting to push this forward now - when for months I've been "not ready".

 

[Foxtrot]

Coo Andy, you go for it!! you're a gorgeous guy and obviously have loads to give! I wish you the bestest of luck in finding friendships out there that may be a little more.

 

[lucylastic]

Only advice I can give, is be yourself, be prepared to listen at least as much as you talk, be honest and open with what you're looking for in a potential partner, and if you're talking to people through on-line dating sites, be very honest about what you're looking for, i.e. if you just want a casual relationship - say so.
Many of my girl friends met their partners through on-line dating, and the majority used match.com - their reason being that for full membership there is a charge, which made them feel that the guys on there are more likely to be more genuine, and less likely to be looking for an extra-marital affair, than those on the free sites!
Hope that helps a little, and I wish you the very best of luck - you look and sound like a very good catch!

 

[SerenityValley]

Thanks folks I'll have a look at Match. I like the idea of knowing that by paying - people are much more likely to be taking it seriously.

I'm not certain what I am looking for just now. I want to date, I want to find someone serious but I also know I wouldn't say no to something casual (largely due to my scary lack of experience), as long as they were single.

 

[lucylastic]

In that case Andy, I would suggest you say what you've said on here - you'e not sure what you're looking for, so maybe friends first, and then who knows?!

 

[SerenityValley]

I'll share a link to my profile onc it's activated (have one going up on smooch.com).

I don't want people think that I'm after casual sex - it's not that I wouldn't (I always believed I wouldn't), but it's not why I want to date either.