OH weekend sabotarge :(

[size102b]

Cant spell sabotarge lol

Every weekend my OH he always wants to eat out,yes very nice BUT Im struggling to stick in my points as the places here are independant cafes/resturants and its impossible to work out the points every time Im just having Jacket Potatoe with tuna zzzzzzz BUT even that in some places in the eat out guide is 16+ points
Now ive already had the quote
'' you know what'll happen when you lose all your weight you'll run off with blah ''
Thing is he's tarring me with his own brush.
All week Im good then when I spend the weekend with him its like eat this eat that,have a vodka etc etc,then jokes around 'how many points in' EVERYTHING.
So hes already rung saying hes leaving work early and we can go to a place to eat,Im really struggling atm anyway as yoyoers do and am pleased im in week 14 but I seriously dont want to yoyo again.
So what do I do,eat my dinner when I get home and just have a drink,or eat before I go which I dont fancy doing? I am struggling so atm saving points is hard.

xx

 

[Fallen Angel]

To be honest I'd enjoy the chance to beat him at his own game!

I'm new to points so can't help with what to eat (other than salads!) but stick to your WW points/diet every day you possibly can and maybe even suggest somewhere to go to eat yourself (a chain you can work the points out at) then at the weekend - pretend you don't care what you're eating or how many points in it but you'll know someone on here has recommended a low point meal

Personally my OH couldn't believe that I was sticking to it when we went to Pizza Express and had a Leggera pizza!

 

[bridebeth87]

Hi I'm in a similar position to you atm. Going for a meal later with 3 friends and I'm actually feeling nervous and worried about what I'm going to eat which is crazy as I should be looking forward to it! I would be in interested to see what everyone recommends to you.

As for OH he sounds insecure that your weight loss will make you look elsewhere. Maybe just talk to him openly that your weight loss won't change your relationship but the fact he isn't as supportive as he could be may do. Does he know how much this means to you?

Sorry I couldn't be much more help but didn't want to read and run

 

[Funky Mum]

Do you think he is deliberately doing this.? I don't mean in a nasty way but perhaps he really is worried he's going to lose you?

If it were me I'd just refuse to go. Have a serious talk with him and explain what he's doing and that its not fair on you. You need a partner who is going to support you, otherwise you will end up miserable

 

[*Leah*]

Sorry to hear he is not helping

I too have had the 'You'll go off with someone else when your'e skinny' It's annoying and stupid.

I would say if he wants to take you out then try and cut out some bits you wont miss? Like no vodka (tell him you've put vodka in it.. or put one vodka in a really big glass with diet whatever and make it last aaaages)

Most food cooked at independant places isnt *too* bad, try and find places where things are homemade as they will make them themselves instead of microwaving pre made stuff with lots of fat in.

What about a steak with a salad? Or a main meal with a jacket potato instead of chips. If the jacket is huge cut it in half and eat half.

 

[size102b]

Hi guys thankyou so much for your thoughtful replies Im always appreciative.
You see hes the one who played away last year so Im moved out and we have lived apart for a year,so you know what they say cheats know what people are capable of doing.....
You are all right and I will just have as lower meals as I can without saying any point related conversation lol

Thankyou once again xxx

 

[Fallen Angel]

It's mad isn't it - my OH intimates that he'll only be happy with me when I'm down to target (or thereabouts) - he's not worried I'll stray because he'll hold on to me tighter if I'm 'perfect'!

Men!

 

[size102b]

What's real funny is they think bigger girls dint get attention?? Maybe this is why women leave when slimmer as some guys make it look like we are only worth having when slim?
x

 

[slimmarach]

Hi hun . I really feel for you , it is really difficult when eating out. I would suggest you choose where to eat this time for a change and if you like chinese food , maybe have mushroom chow mein or a vegetable satay. These are both lower in points, or you could try indian and have a dry tandoori dish or something not too creamy.
I know there is a post on w.w points that tells you how many points in indian and chinese food. Hth .xx

 

[size102b]

Hiya thanks see I'm on the isle if Wight and we don't have many big named food places, except mcds yuckyuck lol
I said I didn't want to go, they has chip shop takeout I'm having something in a min, thinking about it every weigh in ( Mondays ) the low weeks are when we ate out, althought I count points as to the nearest I can find maybe I'm way out??
Thanks alot fir your reply xx

 

[Kaz2803]

sorry your oh isn't being supportive, I think that often when women start doing positive things for themselves (dieting/image change/whatever), it seems to bring out the insecurities of their men!

I would go out to eat when YOU want to, choose something grilled with a jacket or salad with dressing on the side (something you can get a fairly accurate points calculation for) but I would also talk to him about it all, explain how important it is that he is supportive. ww is a whole new way of thinking about food and you don't want him eventually wearing you down enough to stop you sticking to the plan

good luck, I hope he can be more supportive in the future xxx

 

[vanda]

Not sure how to help as you know your oh best. Some great suggestions here, personally I dont talk much about points or 'dieting' with anyone apart from on here. I like the idea of just not mentioning it and if you want to eat out then go for it and do the best you can - surely what you do when you are together should be a joint decision is there something or somewhere you can suggest instead or take it in turns to choose what to do.

But on the other hand the sit him down and talk to him also works for some - depends on the person and only you know what is more likely to work for him.

on the points side what about using set points when out if you cant use the eating out guide. There is some info on here about it somewhere but I can copy down the info from the ww books if it would help.

I know we can save points for such things but if you are like me sometimes I just want to eat all my points every day and not have to worry about saving any.

Hope you manage to sort if out tackling our food issues can be difficult enough without any interference.

 

[chipbutty]

Hi, my oh was like yours but after 10yrs he just wants me to stop moaning!!lol! when eating out some of the jacket spuds can be quite high if they put butter on, you could say you will order & ask for no butter & any dressing on the side (men dont like to ask!) or just order what you want but just because its on your plate does not mean you have to eat it!, i eat out for lunch once a wk with mate & always go weatherspoons & have either chicken burger meal 13.5pts or a veggie burger meal 13pts all come with chips & relish, carvery's are also really good for eating out as its mainly meat, veg, potatoes & york pud but your in controll of how much of eat you want

 

[puggso_32]

Personally I think the guy is being a right knobend and should support you to the end of the earth if it is something that means as much to you as it obviously does.

Just my opinion, but I think in future you need to warn him in advance that you are going to be firm...if he springs anything on you tell him simply 'no...we have spoke about this'.



Just my opinion of course but if he wont support you then you HAVE to support yourself.

 

[Nellyphant]

Personally I think the guy is being a right knobend and should support you to the end of the earth if it is something that means as much to you as it obviously does.

Just my opinion, but I think in future you need to warn him in advance that you are going to be firm...if he springs anything on you tell him simply 'no...we have spoke about this'.

Fabulous answer and my thoughts too.

Hope you got something sorted out.

 

[mumtheshopper]

He's just terrified that as a slim girl, you'll ahve the confidence not to to stick with a cheat anymore. Reassure him that you want him, not because you are low in self esteem, but because you love him, and hope he loves you whatever,. Slim or fat. He will be insecure, he has done wrong, and is scared you will realise taht actually you don't need him anymore

 

[size102b]

He's just terrified that as a slim girl, you'll ahve the confidence not to to stick with a cheat anymore. Reassure him that you want him, not because you are low in self esteem, but because you love him, and hope he loves you whatever,. Slim or fat. He will be insecure, he has done wrong, and is scared you will realise taht actually you don't need him anymore

Do you know you are spot on ........
Maybe your right about me? Have been on my own for a year with 2 children and with 3 its going to be harder,who knows we had a talk he said he says thinbgs to me to wind me up I asked to get a reaction,he said yes?
I know all his exs cheated on him,but Im sticking to plan for me to become who I once was ,thankyou xxx

Personally I think the guy is being a right knobend and should support you to the end of the earth if it is something that means as much to you as it obviously does.

Just my opinion, but I think in future you need to warn him in advance that you are going to be firm...if he springs anything on you tell him simply 'no...we have spoke about this'.



Just my opinion of course but if he wont support you then you HAVE to support yourself.

lol you are so right its control and I think I will just say ok i'll go but just have a drink as after I laid down why I didnt want to go ive had all weekend ''right thats it im not making any decisions anymore we will just do exactly what you want'' so I suggest we go for a picnic down by the river where the kids can play on the playground......I got ''we could go somewhere else''
So I think Im just going to act like the easier going one and just eat before or after I go?
Thanks xx

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR LOVELY THOUGHTS AND REPLIES XX