One last go at CD!

Felix hun as a psychiatric nurse and CBT'ist I agree with Nat about getting help as it's not about admitting a weakness or failure but more about showing recognition that things aren't just quite right and need to be tweaked either by therapies or chemicals. It's worth looking into Hun. Xxx

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Thanks both of you. I still haven't felt right since yesterday and had to stop myself having a panic attack at work because everything got too much. Luckily my lovely friend at work took me for a walk outside at lunch time and let me rant on at him about how I'm feeling and I did feel better afterwards. I keep feeling ok then feeling really down and stressed. It's not just that, but its really hard to explain. My manager wants to have a chat with me tomorrow because she asked whats up, but I don't really want to speak to her because I'll get upset and I can't explain properly. I'd rather keep it to myself. I like keeping my own problems my own! It doesn't really sound like much when I'm writing it down on here but I can't get my words out right.

Diet wise I've been so crap :( had pizza with dessert today! And a chocolate bar! I just feel like sh*t and can't get my head straight.
 
Hi felix, sorry you're feeling so crappy! Hope things get better for u soon xxx
 
Been back on it today. I'm still not feeling good. Last night I went to bed and OH fell asleep straight away and I just laid there for ages. The only way of describing it is I just feel numb. I can't make the effort to make conversation with my OH and we have been shopping tonight at asda and I've wandered round and felt like I wasn't actually there. I feel so drained and my whole body feels really heavy and achey and I haven't got any motivation to do anything at all. I dont understand what is wrong with me but I think it's worrying the OH. I just haven't got anything to say to him, and he's asking what is wrong and I don't even know the answer. He said I'm very despondent today (whatever that means). I keep staring in to space but I'm not even thinking about anything. It's weird and I know I'm not acting myself but I don't feel myself.
 
Hiya Felix,
hope you're feeling better today:)
I know exactly what you're talking about, I was on a downward spiral it seems for about 2 years - when I gained most of the weight I'm trying to get rid of now - and I just could not say in any words what it was that was making me feel the way I felt. At least it sounds like OH is supportive, mine would just as what's wrong and when I said I don't know he'd say something like how can you not know? I never left the flat, I would shop in other towns to avoid seeing anyone I knew, I'd sit and watch television all day and wonder where the day went. I wish I could tell you what changed in me, but one day I simply told myself ENOUGH. Maybe it's denial, which is not just a river in Egypt right:)
You can get better, you'll see!
 
Felix I often have days when I feel like this even before I started the CD, I used to blame my 4 stone weight gain in 8 years but since having a consultation with my GP I have realised it's possible I could have inherited bipolar disorder from my Mum! My GP is setting up an appointment with a psychiatrist to tell them how I feel on a day to day basis as like you said I have days when I don't want to talk to anyone, I lock my doors and ignore my phone yet other days when I feel on top of the world and feel great about myself! I, like you want it sorted as it's not fair on those around me or most importantly myself! I need my head sorted and hope to get back to 'normal' after my talk with the psychiatrist. I am very nervous about my appointment as I also find it hard to put in to words how I feel when these 'episodes' are upon me. The way you worded it as feeling empty and numb is spot on!

Hope you get sorted soon hun and I would definitely go to your GP to discuss these feelings just to give you piece of mind. Let us know how you get on I know it's very personal but we are all on the other end of the computer for you as and when you need us! xx
 
Thanks everyone! I will try and get some B vitamins next time I go shopping and see if that helps!

I have spoken to my manager about it today (she is really lovely!) and I had a word with her about the woman I sit across from at work as she complains about everything constantly and makes a massive deal about tiny things (amongst other stupid other things she does, and she's supposed to be my senior!!) and it's really winding me up and stressing me out which is making me feel worse. She said we have a thing with bupa at work where you can get free counselling sessions so i might try speaking to them. And she's going to speak to the annoying woman as she's had complaints off a few other people too. Before I talked to her I felt the same as I did before but the chat has worked wonders and I'm feeling a bit better now.

Got back on the diet yesterday and I'm getting there. Having omelette for tea and I feel like I could sleep for eternity even though I slept from 9 last night and I had a 3 hour nap when I got in from work.

Will write more later but my food is burning!!! Thanks everyone for your lovely replies I really appreciate it :)
 
Just had my omelette and it was quite nice. Eggs make me feel a bit sick though, don't know why.

Ended up going to bed last night at 9 because my whole body just ached all over. I was struggling to walk around the house and just felt so drained. The aching was awful though! It happened again at work this morning but then disappeared after I spoke to my manager which was weird. It must have been some sort of psychological thing...

I can't believe how different I feel right now though. I still don't feel 100% at all but the difference from yesterday/this morning is massive.

I googled my symptoms (I know it's bad to do that but I was really worried yesterday) and I have all the symptoms of depression :( I should go to my GP really but I struggle to much to properly talk about things. I really struggled to explain myself to my manager today and couldn't really go in to details or I'd get upset.

Hope everyone is good, and thanks so much for the advice. I know it's only over the computer but the advice and support makes me feel so much better. I don't really have any friends I'm close enough to to speak to on a regular basis and I've been quite lonely recently so it really helps :) x
 
Hiya lovely, I totally get the whole egg and sick feeling, that happens to me too haha, very weird! Glad you're feeling a little better, this site really does help too! I think it's always a relief to finally let some of your feelings spill out which is probably by you feel better since speaking to your manager! Keep going felix, you'll be fab ;) xxx
 
Thanks Tano!! I'm really hoping I can get back on track as my holiday is getting closer and closer!!!! Hope you are feeling better soon xx
 
Ahhhhh thanks, I'm a right snotbag!!! Yeah not long now! I'm excited although I doubt I'll be at my target by then after my s****y one pound loss, then to top it all off, I had half a roast chicken tonight with skin!!! Just couldn't resist it. Feeling tres guilty!!! You can always privye message me if you ever need to offload/chat felix!!! X
 
Tano said:
Ahhhhh thanks, I'm a right snotbag!!! Yeah not long now! I'm excited although I doubt I'll be at my target by then after my s****y one pound loss, then to top it all off, I had half a roast chicken tonight with skin!!! Just couldn't resist it. Feeling tres guilty!!! You can always privye message me if you ever need to offload/chat felix!!! X
Click to expand...

Thanks :D How much have you got left to lose and when are you going again? I'm sure you'll get pretty close! Don't worry about the chicken, you could have had worse things!!! It's not like you stuffed your face with pizza and cheesecake like I did on Monday haha x
 
Oh forgot to say that other house we wanted to view is gone already!!! Found another nice one which is 2.5 miles from my work and it's the same as we pay in rent now. I really like it!! http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property...dium=email&utm_campaign=iPhoneappSendToFriend hopefully the link will work.

Also forgot to say there's a job come up at work for a HR administrator and it's 19k a year so 2k more than I'm getting now and im really tempted to apply. Not heard great things about the people who work in that department though so I'm not sure... Got some days off work in a couple of weeks as its my mums bday and then my boyfriends the day after and then his graduation a couple of days after that!!! Got no idea what else to get him for his bday.. He's one of those people that has got literally everything! Payday tomorrow though so going to maybe get him some aftershave and a gift set from lush then some little bits to go with his dinosaur all-in-one haha.
 
Nice house Hun. How come it's under 'for sale' section. Make sure it's not both or u cud be moving again in a few months.
Re your symptoms. I really think u shud seek help. If you can't talk about it then write it down and take it to your gp or things will get worse. Don't forget I am a qualified mental health nurse and know how things can go much worse if u leave them. I think low dose anti depressants for six months n some cbt could change your life Felix. Xxx

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Katie I agree with you, it's good advice. I battle with depression and went to talk with someone for about 8 months and was prescribed anti depressants. Worked wonders, felt so much better. I have been meaning to research how anti depressants effect weight loss because I think I read or heard somewhere that they can help you cope with cravings etc. I will check that out, hope it is true because I have been thinking of asking my doc if I can go on them, as I have been down for awhile now.
 
I was a nurse prescriber and now work for a drug company. They block certain receptors in your brain but ad far as I know aren't directly connected to weight loss. When depressed some people comfort eat and as they get better on the tablets that stops and they lose weight but it can happen other way too. People who have chronic depression will forget to eat so lose weight then once on medication put weight back on. There are several different types of them too all with different side effects. One of the best ones for you Felix would be e-cytalopram as it helps with both anxiety and depression and as it's a newer drug the side effects are less. Judt don't ask for the older version of it which is just cytalopram xxx

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Hi everyone. Just a very quick update on my behalf!!!! Rang up the estate agents and the house has already gone :( can't find anywhere else nice around here!!

Been weighed today!! Not seen my CDC for 2 weeks and 2 days and I've lost 5lb!!!!! Totally happy with that as I didn't think I'd lost anything at all. She's wrote it down on my card wrong though!

Feeling loads better today again :) hope everyone is good x
 
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