OT FAMILY ROW

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by bettylollypop, 12 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Sorry in advance i just need to get this off my chest.:cry:

    Well i got back from drs, daughter couldn't get her jag as a viral infection was diagnosed:sigh:. However we got home and my mum and brother were in house while my dad went to get son from school. My mum and brother were having a heated debate (all because my mum ate his birthday chocolates). Anyway i kept out of it. So it all quietned down so i phoned my man at his work to tell him about the baby etc. His boss answered the phone, who is a lovely guy, then the next thing mum and bro started bawling at the top of their voice and arguing and swearing etc. Eventually my oh came on the phone and i said to him 'i hope your boss didn't hear them 2 arguing in the background, and that i would be mortified if he did'. My mum heard me tell my oh this then started shouting ' it wasn't me it was him , don't blame me etc etc he started on me' So she was shouting down the phone to my oh that it wasn't her, whilst he was at his work. I had to come off the phone to him and tell her to f'ing shut up.

    My brother appologised etc and asked my mum why she was shouting down a phone at my oh, she said she wanted him to know it wasn't her fighting in the background.

    I calmly told her it was the two of them and that is the end of it, no more arguing. She went nuts, handed the baby to my brother and went round the road. She said she is sick of me and my brother ganging up on her and saying that she is 'loopy'. We don't gang up on her.

    I went round to tell her to forget the whole thing and come round and get a cup of tea. She started on me again. I clearly pointed out that i have never in my life called her 'loopy' as she put it , and that both her and my brother were out of order and walked out in tears :cry:

    I don't know why she has fell out with me. My partner hasn't the foggiest what is going on, all he knows is that there was shouting going on etc.

    My oh has been at his job for 30 years today, he doesn't need all this. And it has been overshaddowed by someones 60th birthday, they are having a soiree in the office for her. Don't get me wrong he isn't bothered but i am. 30 years service and not even anything.

    I wanted to have a nice dinner for him and i have bought him a car, he collects cars. However i have nothing on for dinner due to all the fighting, and to top it of i just ate 3/4 of a huge bar of dairy milk from the fridge, my trousers feel tight and i feel fat.:cry::cry::cry:

    Sorry for the massive rant, just needed to get it out calmy without someone shouting in my ear:cry::cry:
     
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  3. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    fight will be forgotten bout tmw hon, you can treat your husband show him how proud you are, and as for the chocolate sod it your upset draw a line under it have a syn free day tmw, sending hugs XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
     
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  4. marmite 330

    marmite 330 Gold Member

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    Chin p petal we all have days like this, mine are most days when I speak to my parents, both going ga ga, its hard work and I dont ave great deal of patience and you have got porly child and hubby to think of, forget your mum and bro for the mo!! enjoy hubby tnight and have a cuddle. As for choccy naughty naughty but understandable. youshould have read my blog from the other day about family!
     
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  5. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    awww hunnie (((((((((((big hugs))))))))) go on get dinner on for your hubby, dont let them two kids ruin this for you and him xx
     
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  6. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    (((( Betty ))))

    The way your mum has acted and the things she says makes me wonder if she is scared of something.

    I'm guessing that if your OH has been in his job for 30 years then your mum is in her 70s? Maybe she has a friend who has been diagnosed with dementia or she has forgotten something (as we all do) which has frightenend her and made her worry about her own sanity.

    You did everything you could xx

    Definitely just draw a line under the chocolate etc xx
     
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  7. sherby

    sherby Full Member

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    Hi Betty

    I have looked at your weight loss and you have done really well so I am sure the one day won't damage everything that you have achieved. I am sorry that you are having such a bad day. From an outsider and one who has suffered with her nerves really bad it looks to me as if your mother is under a bit of stress. I have been there done it and got the t-shirt. I have these rows with my mother. My mother is bad with her nerves too. Just let your mum calm down for a couple of days and then call round to see her. Try and ask her how she if feeling within her self? Just a thought.

    If I were you I would go and have a long hot soak in the bath and wash the cares of the day away. Get up tommorrow and start afresh. Regards.xx
     
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  8. clairex

    clairex Silver Member

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    aw honey, bless u :( dont worry about the chocolate, just focus on cheering yrself up for your hubby coming home! You can make a fuss of him and show him how proud you are of 30yrs service:) Once your mum has calmed down im sure it will be okay, if not - write her a letter explain you dont understand why she has fallen out with you and you are hurt by this. Its the best way of getting your point accross without being interupted. Hope your little one is better soon, your baby and your husband are the most important thing right now!
    Flip through the sw mag and nip out for 10mins to get the ingredients. Take a deep breath - it will all be okay! Hope you get on okay :) (((hugs)))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
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  9. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Sorry should have mentioned my mum is 47 ( i think she is going through the change of life). I also should have pointed out there is a 19 year age gap between me and my oh.

    Thanks everyone. I have managed to put the chocolate down now, i feel sick :(
     
  10. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Huni...as the others have said dont worry about the chocolate given the circumstances I would say thats forgivable!
    Your Mum and Brother sound like the children in all of this "I didnt start it...he/she did"...you poor thing, you really dont need that especially in front of your Baby and you need to tell them both that in future if they want to squabble like children then they can do it outside away from your Little One.
    Im sure your OH will understand, Im just sure he's a little taken back that its happened over the phone, but dont worry over it.

    Take a deep breath and just try and relax!

    Kerry-Ann
    xx
     
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  11. 30FlirtyGirl

    30FlirtyGirl Call me Nicky xx

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    Hi Hun,

    My advice is dust off this afternoon, continue with the special evening you were going to have with OH and start a fresh tomorrow.

    All is not lost as long as you dont let it fester.

    Hugs Hun xx
     
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  12. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    :cry:Thanks everyone xx
     
  13. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    Apologies Betty. I hope I haven't offended you xxx
     
  14. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Hi sue, no don't be silly you haven't offended me, that is how it would appear because i said about my oh and his 30 year work anniversary. I would have prob thought that too if it was someone else. xxx
     
  15. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    First of all, why did your mum eat your brothers birthday chocolates? How rude! Secondly, who was the adult there? "He started it" Is not really the words a mother should say of her offspring! Lastly, it is your house and they have no right to argue and shout in your house, especially while you are on the phone! I would have kicked them both out and told them to come back when they could behave like respectable adults!

    Don't worry about the chocolate, cook dinner for OH and enjoy your evening x
     
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  16. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    I was going to ask how old your Mum was and suggest maybe she's going through the change. Your story just reminded me exactly how my Mum was.

    My Mum is coming up 60 but when she went through the change she was hell to know - completely irrational and actually "ran away" one night - had us all scared stiff!

    Hormones have a lot to answer for - it was like she was the teenager and I was the adult - not a happy time!

    Has your mum seen the doc and maybe thought about HRT? I know it's sometimes hard to suggest these things (I think it can be a frightening time to admit that you're at that stage in life). My Mum only used it short term and the good news is that it does pass!

    Hope you can put it all behind you tonight and have a lovely time with your OH and maybe see how things are with your family tomorrow, once everyone has had time to calm down.
     
  17. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    Very interesting, a lot of what you say sounds very familiar, my mum has been acting strange like that for a while now. She did see her gp but all her gp said was that she may be starting the menopause, however she wouldn't give her a blood test as they are not accurate:confused::confused::confused:.:confused: . She has been quite hard to be around latley and i have had no experience in this area before. My cousin said that her mum was quite funny during her change, like putting toilet roll in the fridge etc. I know it must be a strange and difficult time for my mum but it is taking its toll on us all. I don't think i should suggest she see her gp at the moment, i might not live to tell the tale:8855:. I will wait until the situation has calmed down, then i will suggest it.


    Taz, you are so right the old 'he started it' is so childish. I think when my mum calms down she will realise that. I did boot them out the house, however they only stay 2 doors down lol.

    Ha its' taking its toll on my dad too, he just popped in there having been at the butchers, when he went to read out his order and my order he couldn't get his words out and his face was all funny feeling etc. Its all given him a migrane:eek:, it has passed now and be both laughed about him in the butchers unable to speak:8855:

    Thanks everyone, you have cheered me up xx
     
  18. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Glad we could all help, it's a tough time and I certainly wouldn't have had the bottle to suggest my Mum see a doctor at the time :eek:

    Maybe once she's calm you could have a word - there's also loads of natural remedies out there, but I've no idea if they are effective :)
     
  19. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    I think evening primrose oil is very effective
     
  20. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    i'm not sure it's the change, when my mum and sister argue you can't say anything cause whatever you say the other one says you always stick up for them your ganging up on me , you sound as close as my lot are and there is bound to be arguments every once and a while and they sound tame compared to our rows lol. hope your feeling better today hon XXXX
     
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