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OT question

Mat

taking control (again)
#2
It really depends on both people involved. Going out with a friend is very different to the first few dates with someone. There isn't really any pressure or any expectations when you go out with a friend. But when you meet someone new, there can be a much different atmosphere. Some people find it easy to relax and let things naturally develope, but others find it more dificult and maybe don't come across in the right way. I think if two people are right for each other then it will be fairly obvious right from the start.

I'm not sure if that is the kind of answer you are looking for.
 

Lizzylocket

Winning a losing battle!
#4
I think they are quite similar actually as I believe that you need to be friends with who you are dating if that makes sense?

I guess the real difference with a date is the atmosphere and the chemistry you feel?

Maybe your blokey was different this time because his mates were also there?
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#7
I guess what your intention is, if you're both doing it as a way of getting to know each other to see if there's anything there. That's what I'd say anyway!
 
#8
Hi OM,

I was friends with my husband before we starting dating. We worked together (I even --against my better judgement at his request -- set him up on a date with my younger sister), but then after some time of being "just friends" (i.e. taking turns selecting and treating each other to the cinema, a local theatre production, a sports event, a work related function, etc.) we realized that we had become a lot more to each other. I still tell people I married my "best friend". And, after nearly 23 years, we still feel this way. So, starting out as "mates" is probably the basis for a lasting stronger connection than something that is "chemical" -- lust fades once sated, friendship grows deeper and stronger.

MM
 

Sulleyp

The Minis Bad Boy
#9
I found I once asked a girl out on a date, and she mis interpreted it as just going out as friends. It was clear halfway through what had happened. Then next time I asked her I made sure she knew it was a date date.

I think if you state at the start whether its a date, or a date date it should clear things up.
 

MiniMimi2091

running strictly on fat!
#10
If there is flirting going on and there is certain chemistry between you both - it's a date. It's just all small hints and body language. Do you like the way he looks at you? Did he try to touch your hand or open door for you? He'd have to make you feel special and give you full attention... etc.
It's a very fine line but you'll know instantly when it's right.
xxxx
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#11
Ooops, didn't mean to post here, but can't just delete so have this random pointless message instead!
 
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Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#13
No sorry, that was me! I posted a message that I meant to post on your other one, but I couldn't just delete it, so I put wrong board and reposted! I meant my message, not yours :)
 

Sulleyp

The Minis Bad Boy
#14
Seriously guys, lets stop ksising each other bums and work out why I cannot get a date to save my life. At least Meg you had a date... and Caro!!! You got a guy wanting to see you.

Me.... even the fish wont look me in the face.
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#15
The guy doesn't want to see me though!

Umm do you only shower on birthdays? Do you walk around waving a Bible and shouting? Or umm... do you wear women's make up most days? Might explain it if you do any of those!
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#17
Hmm in that case, I have absolutely no idea! You must be surrounded by crazies.
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#19
Oh shush, cos all anyone has going for them is their size? No. Not at all. And if there are girls who aren't interested because of it, then they're not girls worth your time anyway.
 
#20
Dateless?

Seriously guys, lets stop kissing each other bums and work out why I cannot get a date to save my life. At least Meg you had a date... and Caro!!! You got a guy wanting to see you.

Me.... even the fish wont look me in the face.
Hi Sulleyp,

You look very cute in your photo -- and seem very honest and direct, so let's try to figure this out. What are your interests? Where do you go, what do you do in your spare time?
To get a date you have to meet people. And, to make it worth your time and theirs -- there should be something you have in common.
Go and do things that interest you... play a sport, join a club, play darts, take a class, walk your dog in the dog park at times others are there, etc. sooner or later you meet someone who is interesting to you and you will be interesting to them.
In the past (before DH) I dated -- brothers of friends, people I met at work, a guy who asked me to help him pick out a gift for his mother who was "my size" (she wasn't), a policeman who pulled me over and gave me a warning on a non-working headlamp, a great dancer I met taking lessons, a graduate student when I was an undergrad, a guy I met on the beach, I guy who pulled over to change my flat tire, a customer I waited on, a guy who sat down at my table when I eating lunch at a fastfood place, etc.
Get out and go shopping!!! Then don't be shy... if you never ask, you'll never know.

MM

P.S. My fish only have eyes for other fish.
 


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