Plus 1s ...is my soloution rude?

Discussion in 'Brides To Be' started by AmyAdele, 13 August 2011 Social URL.

  1. AmyAdele

    AmyAdele its a long road

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    Hey Im having a bit of a dilema....so Ive brought it before you lovely ladies for advice...

    Me and H2B are students and so our budget is mega mega tight.

    Many friends and family have been asking if they can bring Plus Ones to the wedding. People who me and H2B have never met and dont really know.

    my soloution was to include with the invites a letter explaining the money situation and that if the guest would like to bring a plus one to enjoy our special day we would like a contribution towards the food of £15 as we really cannot extend the guet list anymore due to our finacial situation.


    what do you all think? Im getting so stressed about this.

    Id originally only wanted 65 to the wedding and the guest list is at 95 :cry: without plusones ........EEEEEK


    is this mega rude would you be affended?
     
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  3. LittleFlutterby

    LittleFlutterby Fluffy lil flutterby :)

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    I'm not a bride to be- i just stumbled across this

    the people who are invited to your wedding are, i'm guessing, close friends and family?the people invited must surely know your financial restraints, or at least know that you're both students?

    If it were me, i would do the same, or say no to the plus 1's. People who love me (and my partner) enough would understand that and not mind at all

    Now i shall go slump back to my SW corner, heehee

    All the best for your big day!
     
  4. AmyAdele

    AmyAdele its a long road

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    thank you for reading and responding :) Im hoping people will take it this way but im nervous someone will take it the wrong way.

    And well done in your SW corner ;) 36.5lb loss is AMAZING :)

    x
     
  5. LittleFlutterby

    LittleFlutterby Fluffy lil flutterby :)

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    My logic- if someone wants to take it the wrong way- they aren't worth your invite ;)

    Thanks muchly! Just over 1/4 of the way there, a little under 7 1/2 stone to target, i will do it! Hope to be close by next summer before my hols lol

    x
     
  6. alley1985

    alley1985 Full Member

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    I agree! Im sure that if people are desperate to bring plus ones to YOUR special day, they will pay the £15. I know i wouldnt have a problem paying that if i was a guest! x
     
  7. LeleQ1987

    LeleQ1987 Full Member

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    My H2B and I are getting married this October and we had the same dilemma. I have a relatively large family and his is massive!
    What we have done is the people who are married/engaged/in a steady relationship with someone who we both have got to know are invited. If there's a plus one whom neither of us know, then we included a little slip with the invitations to say that spaces are filled, money is tight but they more than welcome to the evening reception.

    I think like others have mentioned, most people should understand & respect your decisions. I also know from experience that you cannot please everyone & there's unfortunately going to be at least one person who takes offence. But stick to your guns :)

    Lele
     
  8. AmyAdele

    AmyAdele its a long road

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    Thank you for all reasuring me, its crazy how sometimes it feels like no one cares how happy me and H2B are. its as if its there day!

    The support on here is amazing dont know what I1d do with out it :) x
     
  9. egbert

    egbert Silver Member

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    I wouldn't be offended - I know exactly how you feel. I have a mate coming to mine and I can't stand her boyf - the fact I have to pay for his meal is really grating on me. Plus I am limited on seating space for the actual civil ceremony so I am going to explain to her that he will have to come after to the reception. If she is as good a mate as I expect she should understand.

    I am also not inviting half my family - I have about 50 extended cousins, with partners and kids and the kids all are in their twenties and have partners. I can't afford to pay for them all, plus I only see them once every 4 or 5 years at some family event. Why would I pay for them to come when I then wouldn't be able to fit in my mates who I see daily. I am just telling them that I am keeping it small.

    At the end of the day weddings are over priced anyway and your friends should understand where you are coming from.
     
  10. alley1985

    alley1985 Full Member

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    At one point I had convinced my H2B's cousin that we were asking everyone to pay for their own dinners, £10 per person lol. I had him going for a while. However in some countries they do do this, i think we should start adopting this tradition, would save us a fortune hehe :) x
     
  11. almostmrswood

    almostmrswood Full Member

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    Hi!

    I'm getting married a month after you and my oh and I have been talking about guest lists recently.

    We have kinda settled on, if we haven't met you, you're not invited. We can't afford to give everyone a +1 and anyway, we wouldn't get them all into the venue! I wouldn't expect to be able to take oh to the wedding of someone he has never met.

    Weddings do funny things to people so someone will get upset by your wee note. As someone has already said, if they get upset, maybe not such a good friend.

    xx
     
  12. Claree__x

    Claree__x Silver Member

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    We're doing the same as mentioned above in that if it's a steady partner they're invited - 'cause we're more than likely to have met them anyway, if not they're welcome to the evening.

    I don't think that's a rude solution at all, it's actually quite a good idea!
     
  13. Nicola85

    Nicola85 Full Member

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    If you sent me an invite that said that I def wouldn't b offended! It makes sense! :) no one will think ur being rude, & if they do well tough it's your day!! Xxx
     
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