probs with bridesmaids...... anyone?

[utternutta]

I am having problems with one of my bridesmaid...shes just being awkward, un enthusiastic, maoning about the dress etc..... thing is shes one of my oldest mates and want her there but kind of putting me off now.... i want to confront her but know she will get all defensive. We have brought the dress now but id rather her not do it if shes gonna behave like this. Shes getting married in dec and me next year and people say maybe she is jealous as we have saved long and hard to have a nice wedding, wheras they are having a quieter one and she has kind of made a few remarks about money.... just dunno what to do.... making me sad. Anyone else had probs with their bridesmaids? It was soooo hard picking between all my lovely friends so now upset she is behaving like this

 

[Shirleen]

Ask her straight up Would you rather not do this?

 

[Gemmma]

thats exactley what i would say Shirleen! Its YOUR day UtterNutter, im getting married April next year, we started to organise, people started trying to get a bit too involved....so we called the whole thing off and booked flights to vegas instead, where we will get married for $50 at the courthouse, we have spent the what we budgeted for bridesmaids and reception and what everybody else wanted us to have on swish hotel stop offs on our drive down to LA..Sod em! ...Don't let anyone ruin it hun, its the one day of your life you should only think about you and your Husband, and not how anybody else is feeling, Good Luck! xx

 

[Maximus]

I am having problems with one of my bridesmaid...shes just being awkward, un enthusiastic, maoning about the dress etc..... thing is shes one of my oldest mates and want her there but kind of putting me off now.... i want to confront her but know she will get all defensive. We have brought the dress now but id rather her not do it if shes gonna behave like this. Shes getting married in dec and me next year and people say maybe she is jealous as we have saved long and hard to have a nice wedding, wheras they are having a quieter one and she has kind of made a few remarks about money.... just dunno what to do.... making me sad. Anyone else had probs with their bridesmaids? It was soooo hard picking between all my lovely friends so now upset she is behaving like this

Blokey answer alert!

Just whose day is it anyway?

 

[AnnaFaraday]

I would say "it is really obvious that you don't want to do this, so to take the pressure off all of us I think it would be better if I didn't have any bridesmaids at all". Then see what the reaction is.

 

[Katesands8]

You're one of my best friends and I love you but it's getting rather obvious that you are not happy with things! This is what I want and have planned for and it's my day! You are having your wedding your way, so you know how important it is for it to be your way. However if you're not happy with my plans for MY day then please say so now and if you'd rather not be my bridesmaid I understand, but it's my day and this is what I want! Think about it and if you can't be happy with my plans then we can reconsider your role as bridesmaid.
That's what I'd say until she pissed me off after the point I could be polite and i'd tell her to take a hike best friend or no!

 

[kerry b]

thats exactley what i would say Shirleen! Its YOUR day UtterNutter, im getting married April next year, we started to organise, people started trying to get a bit too involved....so we called the whole thing off and booked flights to vegas instead, where we will get married for $50 at the courthouse, we have spent the what we budgeted for bridesmaids and reception and what everybody else wanted us to have on swish hotel stop offs on our drive down to LA..Sod em! ...Don't let anyone ruin it hun, its the one day of your life you should only think about you and your Husband, and not how anybody else is feeling, Good Luck! xx

This is what we did as when we announced our engagement people made assumptions about OUR wedding. We went off to vegas, picked up 2 complete strangers as witnesses and I would not change a single second of my wedding day!

I would ask your friend if she is unhappy with any aspect of your plans for your big day then give her the option of backing out if she is unhappy for any reason. Your bridesmaids are such a big part of the day that she will spoil it for you if she isnt 100% behind your plans

 

[Gemmma]

Kerry i think im looking forward to this more than i could ever look forward to a day spent pleasing other people!

If She is really a decent friend, she would understand anything you had to say to her...and the minute you said any of the above to her she would instantley perk up and change her attitude..if she doesnt then clearly you need a new best mate!...Maybe she is feeling inadequate about her own wedding if your budget is bigger than hers. and maybe she isn't realising just how apparent this is becoming in the way she is behaving...give it a go and keep us posted xx

 

[kerry b]

Hope you have a fantastic time Gemma, I remember every single second of my wedding day and it was a day unlike anyone else I know has had. We got married in the morning, had hot dog & beer for lunch, went horseback riding in the desert then had a campfire bbq for our wedding dinner then spent a few hours losing money in the casino. My OH wore jeans cowboy boots & t-shirt. I wore a cream skirt and pink top that i have worn many times since then and it always brings back very happy memeories. I hope your day will be as happy as ours was

 

[Gemmma]

Aww thankyou x

 

[kingleds]

Its your wedding - ask her outright, don't worry about hurting her feelings, she clearly isn't worried about yours. No bridesmaid like their dress, because they haven't picked it. It part of the deal when you agree to be a bridesmaid - tell her to get over herself!