Rayven
Addicted to Minimins!
My Grandma always used to tell me (many moons ago when i was still a chubby school girl) that i had puppy fat and that i'd grow out of it, but after years of being the centre of chubby jokes and laughing along with the comments (even making them myself before anyone else does) as only an insecure, over-weight person can, I've never really wanted to accept the fact that its no longer puppy fat, & that at 30 years old I'm quite plainly overweight and unhealthy with it. Oh, I've got quite good at pretending I'm ok with it - that big is beautiful, but deep down i've always craved that slim figure, to be the centre of attention because i'm slim and gorgeous rather than because i'm the big girl with the pretty face who makes everyone laugh.
Well i'm sick of being the funny one! Everyone thinks its fine and grand that i'm just happy being me and thinks its great that i eat what i like and that i'm confident enough just being me to not care about the fact that i'm big. People who think those things, don't really know me, i don't let people know the real me, the me that hates the fact that i can't fit into the clothes that i really like, who covers up infront of her husband because she doesn't like her own body, who avoids full length mirrors and reflective shop windows at all costs, who avoids social occasions just as eagerly as she avoids the camera. If people knew the real me, they'd realise that deep down, once you get past what i allow other people to see, i'm STILL the same shy, scared, intimidated little chubby girl i was when i was at school.
Years of bullying only made my weight problem worse. Going from fat, to anorexic, to bulimic back to binge eating and being fat. How many of us turn to food when emotionally things are bad?
Well ENOUGH IS ENOUGH i say! I'm worth far more than i give myself credit for, we all are!
And so the trip to SkinnyVille began............starting at Obese Town - just had a baby & bulging at 18 stone 6.....along the track to Podgy Town - 15 stone......
I think it was there i congratulated myself on getting so far on the Slim Train & jumped off for a quick stop which ended up being a Looooooonnnggg stop...........
back up to 15 stone 7 and here i am again, on the Slim Train and this time i've bought a ticket for a oneway, non stop trip to SkinnyVille! ( come along and join me )
After trying EVERY diet going.......Atkins, Calorie Counting, Cambridge, Weight Watchers, Slimming World.......far too many to mention, I've found Slimfast works for me. Not so much food that i feel i have to carry on eating (like with slimming world), but enough so i don't feel deprived (as i did with Cambridge)........
I WILL get to goal this time! I WILL be who i really am beneath this wall of comfort that i've built around me!
Well i'm sick of being the funny one! Everyone thinks its fine and grand that i'm just happy being me and thinks its great that i eat what i like and that i'm confident enough just being me to not care about the fact that i'm big. People who think those things, don't really know me, i don't let people know the real me, the me that hates the fact that i can't fit into the clothes that i really like, who covers up infront of her husband because she doesn't like her own body, who avoids full length mirrors and reflective shop windows at all costs, who avoids social occasions just as eagerly as she avoids the camera. If people knew the real me, they'd realise that deep down, once you get past what i allow other people to see, i'm STILL the same shy, scared, intimidated little chubby girl i was when i was at school.
Years of bullying only made my weight problem worse. Going from fat, to anorexic, to bulimic back to binge eating and being fat. How many of us turn to food when emotionally things are bad?
Well ENOUGH IS ENOUGH i say! I'm worth far more than i give myself credit for, we all are!
And so the trip to SkinnyVille began............starting at Obese Town - just had a baby & bulging at 18 stone 6.....along the track to Podgy Town - 15 stone......
I think it was there i congratulated myself on getting so far on the Slim Train & jumped off for a quick stop which ended up being a Looooooonnnggg stop...........
back up to 15 stone 7 and here i am again, on the Slim Train and this time i've bought a ticket for a oneway, non stop trip to SkinnyVille! ( come along and join me )
After trying EVERY diet going.......Atkins, Calorie Counting, Cambridge, Weight Watchers, Slimming World.......far too many to mention, I've found Slimfast works for me. Not so much food that i feel i have to carry on eating (like with slimming world), but enough so i don't feel deprived (as i did with Cambridge)........
I WILL get to goal this time! I WILL be who i really am beneath this wall of comfort that i've built around me!