gaijingirl
has lying hips
So here's the long and short of it. I LL'd from October to mid-March and went from 17 stone 13lbs to 11 stone 10lbs. I wouldn't have stopped (my first goal was 11 stone 7lbs but I subsequently decided I'd like to get down to 11 stone if possible - maybe even less, secretly I'd like to be in the 10s!) but I had to go to Japan for 3 weeks on business and leisure and packs were not an option - nor did I want to take packs anyway. So I came off a few weeks before going to Japan and did a mini-maintenance programme. During this time I also re-started exercising properly - running 5k most days, swimming lots, cycling lots. I'm signed up for the London Triathlon in August - olympic distance. I used to do a lot of triathlons and I really really enjoy exercising. I found whilst on LL full time whilst I could do limited exercise I couldn't really run or do the other disciplines to the degree I like to.
Anyway, so I went to Japan. I haven't had a meeting since I got back a week ago so I don't know if I gained weight - I think I probably did gain a few pounds but I also ate reasonably well whilst there - apart from a few "kid in a sweet shop" moments, I didn't feel out of control - I allowed myself to eat anything and found that by doing so I generally wanted the healthier things anyway - when I ate the less healthier things I did so knowingly and mindfully. I also took my running gear and ran every second day. I hired bikes for much of the time I was there and cycled. I went to the gym twice, swam twice, went snowboarding and played tennis.
So I got back and had promised myself to go straight back onto packs the day I arrived. But suddenly I panicked - everything was forbidden so I had a couple of binges and one binge/purge episode (my old nemesis!!). It wasn't huge amounts of food but that's not really the point. But, I brushed myself off and started back on the packs on Tuesday morning. By last night I still wasn't in ketosis and actually physically hurting from hunger - to the point of tears. So I ate. I had two sandwiches, a few Japanese rice crackers and soy-bean paste sweets and a couple of glasses of wine. Again not a huge amount of food. I know how stupid it must seem to people to go that far and then eat but I just couldn't not eat.
I'm not going to feel guilty about this. I'm fed up of punishing myself all the time - I've lost over 6 stone, I'm a decent enough weight, I'm pretty fit and so far I've done really well - I don't want to put myself under the pressure I used to.
But, I don't really know what to do now. Part of me thinks.. give it another go - maybe this time don't have bars for the first week - maybe that's what was stopping me getting into ketosis? Another part of me thinks - eat sensibly until Tuesday, go your LL meeting. The meetings always sort me out and maybe that's what I need?
When I first started it was on a Wednesday morning and at my pop in on the Saturday morning I was in ketosis. This time I started on a Tuesday morning and by Saturday night I still wasn't in ketosis - why? I wonder if the fact that last time I was 18 stone and this time I'm 11 stone something has anything to do with it?
I guess I have to accept that if I want to do this I'm going to have to let go of running for a while. I didn't run whilst on LL but I still swam and cycled - albeit not as much. I have to focus on my essay writing and studying anyway I suppose, I'm now in a really high stress period of my postgrad degree - it's just that with the triathlon in August which I need to train for and the weather and long days I want to be feeling that exercise high!!
I have to keep reminding myself that it's just one month really - or at least it would be if I could get going properly.
I guess I should call my supervisor but I wanted to do this and get it right by myself - which I know is silly - I wanted to be grown up about it and not have to have my hand held all the time!! I wanted to turn up to my meeting on Tuesday successfully having gotten straight back on the wagon after going away. I guess if I start again today I could be in ketosis by Tuesday?
By the way - does being in ketosis speed up weight loss? Or just take away the hunger? Anyone know?
Anyway, so I went to Japan. I haven't had a meeting since I got back a week ago so I don't know if I gained weight - I think I probably did gain a few pounds but I also ate reasonably well whilst there - apart from a few "kid in a sweet shop" moments, I didn't feel out of control - I allowed myself to eat anything and found that by doing so I generally wanted the healthier things anyway - when I ate the less healthier things I did so knowingly and mindfully. I also took my running gear and ran every second day. I hired bikes for much of the time I was there and cycled. I went to the gym twice, swam twice, went snowboarding and played tennis.
So I got back and had promised myself to go straight back onto packs the day I arrived. But suddenly I panicked - everything was forbidden so I had a couple of binges and one binge/purge episode (my old nemesis!!). It wasn't huge amounts of food but that's not really the point. But, I brushed myself off and started back on the packs on Tuesday morning. By last night I still wasn't in ketosis and actually physically hurting from hunger - to the point of tears. So I ate. I had two sandwiches, a few Japanese rice crackers and soy-bean paste sweets and a couple of glasses of wine. Again not a huge amount of food. I know how stupid it must seem to people to go that far and then eat but I just couldn't not eat.
I'm not going to feel guilty about this. I'm fed up of punishing myself all the time - I've lost over 6 stone, I'm a decent enough weight, I'm pretty fit and so far I've done really well - I don't want to put myself under the pressure I used to.
But, I don't really know what to do now. Part of me thinks.. give it another go - maybe this time don't have bars for the first week - maybe that's what was stopping me getting into ketosis? Another part of me thinks - eat sensibly until Tuesday, go your LL meeting. The meetings always sort me out and maybe that's what I need?
When I first started it was on a Wednesday morning and at my pop in on the Saturday morning I was in ketosis. This time I started on a Tuesday morning and by Saturday night I still wasn't in ketosis - why? I wonder if the fact that last time I was 18 stone and this time I'm 11 stone something has anything to do with it?
I guess I have to accept that if I want to do this I'm going to have to let go of running for a while. I didn't run whilst on LL but I still swam and cycled - albeit not as much. I have to focus on my essay writing and studying anyway I suppose, I'm now in a really high stress period of my postgrad degree - it's just that with the triathlon in August which I need to train for and the weather and long days I want to be feeling that exercise high!!
I have to keep reminding myself that it's just one month really - or at least it would be if I could get going properly.
I guess I should call my supervisor but I wanted to do this and get it right by myself - which I know is silly - I wanted to be grown up about it and not have to have my hand held all the time!! I wanted to turn up to my meeting on Tuesday successfully having gotten straight back on the wagon after going away. I guess if I start again today I could be in ketosis by Tuesday?
By the way - does being in ketosis speed up weight loss? Or just take away the hunger? Anyone know?