Reset: half way there honey

Oh yeah, I can see that frozen strawberries might not work!!!!

Well, another good day, went to the gym this evening and have stuck to the plan I set earlier. So I think I'm on track today, the ready meal was I think 4.5 syns, taking me to about 11.5 syns today. Had a third of each meal being superfree food, check. Stuck to fruit for snacks, check. No snacks, check. AND big victory, I resisted those tempting giant cookies in the staff kitchen today. Feeling good about myself, just off to have a shower and get ready for bed, to sleep the sleep of the virtuous :) x
 
Today is a bit of a challenge for me because I'm working from home and I have tendencies towards snacking / bingeing. BUT I have a plan:

- weetabix x 2 (Hex B), frozen cherries (F), muller light (F)
- fruit for snacks
- stew (F), salad (F), 1/2 tub rice (F)
- milk for coffee (HEX A)
- Slimming World pasta/sausage/tomato (4.5 syns or free) and peas (F)

And also the gym in the evening. Plus I'm batch cooking a chorizo stew in the slow cooker for tomorrow night. So I have a plan to both eat well and stick to the plan without too many planned treats from the start! Let's see how we get on. Half way through the week and it's going well, would *love* to see a good loss (3 lbs????) on Saturday, just to kind of get me started and off this plateau I've been on for over a year now.
 
I had stew but in place of rice had three crackers, which are 4.5 syns. Feeling good and not deprived at all today, so that's very impressive. I wanted to get through the day without bingeing/overeating because I'm at home, and it's 2:30 and I'm doing well. Importantly, I feel like I've eaten well and have fed my body good healthy nutritional food rather than rubbish.

Shame about sore leg, but that should improve as I lose weight (I hope!)

Another few hours before I start the pasta dish for tonight. Might grate a lot of cheese for my partner's meal as he seems to be losing weight as well!!
 
I did it!!!!!!!!!!! I worked from home without any bingeing/overeating, so am really proud of myself for that. And I did quite a lot of cooking so that's good too. Well done :)

On the downside, I'm panicking that SW isn't working for me this time. I've stuck to it 100% this week and I don't think I'm losing weight - gah. It should be so easy in the first few days, but there we go. I guess the answer is to stick to it for a few months and see a slow steady loss. The thing is, I know that living like this, eating like this, is very doable. I don't feel deprived or hungry, I don't dwell endlessly on food, it's okay. The 5:2 diet just *felt* unhealthy, and I didn't manage to lose weight, just stopped putting it on. Stick at it and stop fretting!!!

Plan for today:

- magic porridge: oats (HEX b), muller light, frozen cherries
- milk for teas/coffees (HEX A)
- fruit for snacks
- left over sausage pasta for lunch (2 syns)
- skinny latte (3 syns)
- chorizo and chickpea stew with sweetcorn and salad for tea - need to check the syns but hoping not too much. I've given myself two sausages and my partner five, so hopefully will be suitably healthy!

Then gym this evening after that. So a good healthy day lined up, just need to stop hoping to see miracles very quickly. It's a long road, and I think seeing a slow loss is okay. I'm just nervous that I'll have stayed the same this week, which will really get me down.

Hard day at work today too, but will log in to keep a check on how things are going - I'm finding it very therapeutic to be able to record stuff here. The SW diary isn't really working for me, either online or paper, but here I'm fairly good.
 
I had a not bad day today - stuck to the plan so far, apart from having a cappuccino at lunchtime because I needed to get out of the office. But no snacks, no little extras. I've been rereading my own journal of how I originally lost 150lbs a while back, and it's inspired me and reminded me of what I know is true. Routine is definitely my friend, and I feel better when I am active etc. My biggest motivation was always clothes and looking good, and that's certainly remained the case. I want to lose this excess weight so badly, I want to get down to my goal weight (175 lbs). I'm currently at 263 lbs, which is 89 lbs lost since I first started this, and 2 lbs since I re-started this.

My life has changed so much - I moved to a nice place, I ditched the terrible guy, I met the most wonderful man ever, I moved in with him, I didn't hold on to my weight loss. BUT I have stabilised and haven't put on any more weight for about a year - certainly for ten months. It's all about small steps - I cannot lose 50 lbs in a few weeks. I CAN lose 2 lbs this week, and that's my tunnel vision. Just do it, stick to the plan. I feel okay on this diet, I'm not craving anything much, I'm feeling good about myself. I'll get there!

And the gym tonight, so that should be good for me.
 
Just had a great workout at gym which feels fab. Tired now, still nervous that I'm not losing weight. And I have my holiday in two weeks time. Lot to think about. But the stew tonight was lovely x
 
Okay, so here goes Friday!! The pre-plan for the day:

- Magic porridge: Oats (HEX B), muller light (F), frozen cherries (F)
- Fruit for snacks (SF)
- Milk for teas/coffees (HEX A)
- Pea / mint / ham soup for lunch (SF) - home made
- Crackers x 3 (4.5 syns)
- Skinny latte from pret (3 syns)
- Slimming World chips (F)
- Beans (F)
- Fried egg (F)
- Salad (SF)
- Diet coke / pink lemonade (F)

That seems like it would be a nice healthy day. Still not feeling like I've made much progress, BUT I have stuck to this all week and really tried. So if I haven't lost any weight then I'll take it, because I have really tried. And what's better, I do feel good on it. I feel like I'm on a path back to where I was at last. Although it's a different journey, and I've learned a lot. I wish I hadn't regained 60 lbs, but I have kept off 90 lbs, so not all bad. And for the last year I've jammed a spoke in it and haven't regained. It's about learning new ways of being with someone and also about prioritising what works for me.

Lots to think about, but generally feeling positive.
 
Half way through the day and half way through the planned meals, and sticking to them religiously. That's good, but let me just do my weekend plan when I have guests:

Saturday
- Slimming World and weigh-in: celebratory coffee/cake afterwards
- Lunch: sausage casserole (2 syns) and peas (F)
- Fruit for snacks
- GYM
- Chinese takeaway in evening: beef chow mein (4 syns)
NO OTHER CHINESE SNACKS!
- Gin and slim line tonics x 3 = 12 syns

TOTAL = 18 syns

Sunday
- weetabix x 2 (HEX A), muller light (F), frozen berries (F)
- fruit as snacks
- Lunch out: aiming to have light salad/soup and nice cappuccino
- Dinner: beef stew (F), peas (F), carrots (F), yorkies x 2 (3)

I've got a plan at any rate. Really going to try hard to avoid overeating but it's difficult with snacks etc. Plus I'm going to be making a cake and a flan for them, sigh. Got to be done though!

I'm finding it much easier to have a daily plan and to know what's happening. I'd like to get in the zone, and I think I'm getting there. It's important for me to stick to this, which I have done all week. I haven't felt particularly deprived or agitated yet, sometimes I *WANT* something but that's a psychological thing of wanting a reward or a treat, rather than hunger for a specific snack. Like now, I've had my soup and crackers and apple, and I'm antsy wanting something else. I'm going out to pick up some shoes for the holiday and I'll get a strong skinny latte on the way back and that will hopefully 'hold' me all afternoon.

It will be easier once I've been doing this for a few months and I start to look and feel different again and I feel motivated for its own sake. At the moment, it's a bit of blind faith that this is the right thing to do, certainly hope that it is!
 
Lost a pound this morning - absolutely gutted, as I had stuck to the plan 100% all week, been to the gym three times, and really really tried. It feels incredibly dispiriting, and I wonder if I've screwed up my metabolism by losing 150 lbs a few years ago. It just doesn't make sense that I'm eating enough to maintain 18 1/2 stones, especially tracking everything the last two weeks.

Oh well, need to draw a line under it and move on to week 3! I am being a complete biatch to my partner and that's not fair, but I feel like crying. And we have his daughter and her partner arriving shortly for the long weekend, which means I have to make a cake shortly and we are having Chinese and going out to lunch etc. It's just hard right now, and I know that food is nothing to everyone else, but it all feels like such a blooming struggle to just lose one measly pound! Rant rant rant, lol. Oh well, gotta hang in there.

So right now I weigh 260 lbs (18st8), which is a 3lb loss since I restarted and a 90lb loss in total. So let's get down 2.5lbs this week and keep on fighting!!! That would be a decent achievement before we go on holiday for two weeks x
 
The weekend was a tough one - it really knocked me for six only losing a pound on Saturday, then we had guests all weekend. So I drank too much on Saturday, and we had a Chinese takeaway. Sigh. Sunday was better, I stuck to the plan more in that I had gnocchi when we were out and in the evening made a massive stew which was pretty healthy and also a fruit flan which was packed with fresh fruit and berries.

Today is a bit bad, I'm at work but haven't really planned it properly. I had magic porridge for breakfast and then am going to have to have some bought lunch. Don't really want to be at work today, I'm feeling kind of shattered! I do feel like I've put on 3 lbs easily in one weekend - what was the point of struggling so hard, sigh. Oh well, got to get on with it, but I do feel weary right now.
 
Had a not especially healthy lunch today – four pakoras (vegetarian), a skinny latte and some honeycomb yoghurt. Just that kind of can’t keep struggling kind of day. I think it’s about being tired and unprepared, which is annoying because I DID know that would happen. I struggle with not having routines and not having everything as I want it, plus also having to cater for other people with booze and crisps and cakes and meals. But I did have a nice time, just feel a bit wiped out today. I make poor choices when my energy levels are low.
 
I'm exactly the same, if I'm not organised, everything falls apart! Don't worry about what happened this weekend, just draw a line under it and learn from it. I've spent time this evening planning my meals for this week and I've made a shopping list for tomorrow after work so I'm ready and prepared for the rest of the week :)
 
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