AM writing this for the same reason as everyone else, to capture my reasons for being here and hopefully to help me stay focussed and motivated. I started this diet on Monday and was 100% until last night, first time someone offered me a glass of wine and I just caved, no coercion on their part, just lack of willpower on mine. Lesson learnt, and back to it. I have been around 13st for about 5 years, generally losing 7lbs every so often and then putting on 8 so the creep upwards has been gradual, my horror when I stood on the scales and saw I was nearly 14 stone made me realise it was time to take decisive action. I have done LL before, maybe 9 years ago and I lost a lot of weight, getting to 11 stone, where I was really happy and it was probably the best year of my life, being thin and feeling so good really is worth giving up the piles and piles of rubbish I shovel down my neck each day. I am an excuse maker and I tell myself that I deserve food/wine to compensate for things going wrong in other areas of my life. I also do have a very active social life and I enjoy being out and about having a laugh. I live alone, so if I have a night in, I think I deserve a treat, I will get wine and crisps or wine and cheese or wine and pizza. I go out a lot after work for drinks and food, always make the wrong choices. Example Pizza Express with a thin friend - she orders a Leggera <500 cals and a gin and slimline tonic, me I order the biggest pizza and an enormous glass of wine >1000 cals. Its these simple things I need to learn, along with things like Birthday's are a day long, maybe stretch to a weekend but do not mean you can eat like a pig for an entire week and lie to yourself that you won't put weight on. Similarly Christmas does not begin on December 1st and it is not actually the law to eat a mince pie and sweets and crisps EVERY DAY (I wish it was though). I think the biggest realisation for me was that I had accepted my life as it was, I was never going to be thin again, I would just become a middle aged single tubster who will wear whatever fits and is a fan of the elastic waistband. I think I have been a bit depressed to be honest with you because as soon as I made some changes to my working life, like boundaries, not working so hard I suddenly discovered this urge to look nice again and to be glamorous and slim and all that stuff. So here I am determined to make it a reality. Please do drop by and say hi and share any thoughts, am dreading my first Friday without any of the usual accompaniments, am considering a swim.