Rori's weight loss and exercise musings...

[Rori]

I've never kept a diary before when dieting and hope that maybe I can learn something new from keeping one this time. Especially as this time what i'm doing actually seems to work!

My current diet is a mixture of low calorie and calorie counting, whilst also trying to cut out most carbs and eating more fresh fruit and vegetables. I also try to go to the gym atleast four times a week, more if I can fit it into my schedule.

Moving to Orlando was the kick up the butt I needed, it kick started my weight loss but i'm also worried it's going to be my downfall. I've been doing so well all week, managed to hover at about 153 for a few days, was hoping to budge down to 152 but then last night I went with some girlfriends to watch Fantasmic at Hollywood studios and on the way we stopped at a British shop to grab some actual walkers crisps and chocolate.... originally I said no but after some persuading I caved and ended up eating crisps and chocolate.. then we got to the studios and went on a few rides, all was great, even had a salad for dinner with light dressing whilst everyone had burgers and fries but then we headed into the theatre and everyone got ice cream so I joined in and not only had the ice cream, but had the sundae which had whipped cream and hot fudge sauce on. It just seems like every time I allow myself a treat I have to go that one step further and be excessive.

So yeah, it seems like my major stumbling block is being social! When i'm heading home after work then all is fine, I eat sensibly, I enjoy what i'm eating, but as soon as I head out the door with friends I end up in a restaurant or at a theme park eating badly. I always at least try to have the healthier options but I usually allow myself to have dessert with everyone else and I really think it's holding me back. If I hadn't gone out for all those meals these past few weeks I probably could have been down to about 145lbs and that's frustrating!

Anyways, today, I'm doing well again, yoghurt and fruit for breakfast. Scrambled eggs for lunch and probably some soup for dinner. I'm also off to the gym in a few minutes for a good 60-90 minutes. I managed to burn 550 cals last time so that's my goal for today!

 

[cah-ching]

Hi there.

Keep posting, it's theraputic. Stumbling blocks happen to all of us, they're as major as you want them to be.

 

[Rori]

Stumbling blocks happen to all of us, they're as major as you want them to be.

Thanks for that! It's actually quite profound, lol. It also helped, I got badgered into going out for dinner again tonight, apart from the obscene amounts of money I have to spend to eat someone else's food I also really worry about how much it's going to affect my diet. I went out with my mind set on choosing the healthier options without giving in to the unhealthy options and on the whole I think it went ok.

We went to Chili's, which is actually a really good restaurant if you're dieting. Mainly because their menu includes a 'Guiltless' page. It's basically a handful of dishes that are under 750 calories and are low on carbs etc. etc. I chose the steak, which was basically an 8oz steak, with some tomatoe salsa on the top, and some steamed brocolli and carrots. It tasted devine and didn't leave me feeling guilty! I even had dessert, and still don't feel that bad about it because they do 'shot glass' desserts, which is generally just that, a shot glass with dessert in it! It's just enough to leave you satisfied without over-indulging. About 3-4 bites.

So anyways, I stepped on the scale this morning, as I do every morning and it said 152 exactly. It was very exciting, I haven't been this small in years! I've been hovering in the 153's for a couple of days and was just waiting for it to drop down (or up, god forbid!)

I'm slightly worried about the fact that I have my Disney cruise coming up this Thursday, 3 days of 24hr food. They have some great healthy options, but it's resisting the temptation to camp out at the ice cream station! I'm going to hit the gym pretty hard the next four days in anticipation of whatever does happen on the cruise. Which I realise is a bad attitude to have, as if i'm preparing myself to fail or give in, but I'd like to think that i'll make the right choices.

I'm in a bit of denial about the weight i've lost so far, but I have lost weight, quite drastically I suppose, even if it has taken me 7 months! But I had to admit defeat today and remove 3 pairs of trousers from my wardrobe as they fall down when I walk and look ridiculous. In fact, of the 8 pairs of trousers I brought, only 2 still fit!!! I'm going to hold out until I go to NY in 24 days though before buying anything new, as hopefully by then i'll be another 7lbs lighter! (Plus they now have topshop!)

 

[Rori]

So, yesterday was a good day eating wise. I had an apple and yoghurt for breakfast, a cereal bar and banana for lunch and an omelet for dinner. I did feel dizzy though most of the day, I don't feel like it was because of the food i'd eaten and maybe it wasn't enough?? I don't know, but it scares me when I have to go to work and I feel dizzy, I would really hate to pass out at work. I think it was more to do with the heat though, which is reaching 89F by lunch time, it was so hot yesterday there was just no air.

I went to the gym for an hour, did 4 miles on the cross trainer and 15 minutes on the stepper, in total burning 400 cals. The scales even said 150.8 this morning, but I'm not sure if I rely on that because yesterday it was 152 exact and I don't think I would have lost 1.2lbs in a day. Anyway, i'm working a morning shift so i'm going to come home and hit the gym, I want to try for 5 miles on the cross trainer, i'd like to hit that before the cruise on thursday!

 

[Rori]

Yesterday was not good.... it started off well, I had some cereal, but then at work the head chef brought out some new dishes at one of our restaurants for us to try and get our opinion on and I had a mini-binge. It was grilled chicken with cheese melted on top and with a cheese scone on the side.... it was delicious and instead of having the one forkfull that I could have done I had a good five forkfulls or so. In hindsight I know it wasn't too bad but it just set me off badly for the rest of the day. I ended up skipping lunch and grazing on little snacks until dinner (just a few skittles, a couple of pretzels, two maltesers) and then had some cauliflower cheese and a pork chop.

To top it all off I had the opportunity to go to the gym yesterday and didn't. I just didn't have the motivation and it makes me feel like i've failed. I promised myself that if I had the time in my work schedule to go to the gym then I would, no excuses. Even if it was just for 30 minutes or meant I went 3/4/5 days in a row, then I would do it because some days I can't fit it in (like today 10 hr shift with an hour travel there and an hour back) It's also frustrating that I weighed myself after work yesterday and was 150.2 and then this morning it was 151.4. I usually weigh more in the evenings so I don't know what happened but I guess I should be thankful that for 2 days now i've been at 151.

The weather is getting unbearable now.... it was 32C yesterday and it's forecast to be like that til Saturday. It's 24C now and it's only 10 in the morning! The heat always makes me feel shaky though and like I need to eat carbs or sugar to keep me from passing out when really I could probably do with just drinking more and having some good protein.

I'd like to rant about the injustice of weight distribution.... I used to have a nice hour glass figure. I have broad shoulders, some good size boobs (32DD) a tiny waist and big hips but now... after losing the 20-odd lbs it's all gone pear shaped. Literally. I'm starting to look anorexic up top. My ribs are sticking out, my boobs have shrank to probably a B cup (aargh!) and yet i'm still probably a 14-16 trousers. I'd like to be a little more proportioned but it's just not happening. I work my legs mostly at the gym and they are shaping up better but i've lost no real inchage.... which is a shame because i'd really like to wear shorts and skirts instead of overheating in jeans! Aaargh... (oh and some ankles as opposed to cankles would be nice Mr.Diet Fairy!)

 

[Rori]

Yesterday was painful! It was hot and sticky and I had to run food all day. Being an intern sucks, you get all the crappy jobs and you don't have any rights or power to complain. So yes, heavy, boiling hot plates from the kitchen out through the back of the lobby to our lovely waterfront hotel restaurant. For 9 hours. In 92F heat (32C). I still hurt now! On the plus side (because there has to be one) is that at least I was very active and must have burnt a good few calories. I had a subway for dinner too and a banana, so not too bad. The scale said 150.4 this morning. I don't want to record that as my weight yet though as tomorrow i'm off on the cruise and even though i'm completely motivated to make the right choices I'm still going to be eating more than I generally do, so we'll see. I'll record on Monday morning I think, when the added pounds have settled!

I went clothes shopping today after work for the first time since my weight loss and it was such an emotional rollercoaster. On the one hand I was so happy that I could see an obvious change in my body shape and fitting into the small tops and the American 10's (our 14's) and even getting into an 8 (couldn't fasten but I got them past my knees!) which just a few months ago wouldn't have been possible was fantastic. That was all lovely, but there's a but....

On the other hand, i'm still fat. My thighs were still wobbling, a lot, and covered in cellulite. It was heartbreaking and motivating and amazing and depressing all in one go. I still have a long way to go before I feel comfortable with my body and the size that I am.... it's all just a waiting game.

On the plus side, my feet totally look amazing in my new sandals.

 

[Rori]

My name is Rori...(Elinor actually) and I am a weighaholic. I really wish I could only weigh myself once a week. But I can't. I have to know every day whether I've lost or gained or stayed the same. Each little ounce matters. Because if i've lost anything then I feel spurred on to keep losing and keep the momentum going. If i've gained then it gives me a litle kick up the butt to do better, work harder. But I guess the hardest to deal with is if it just stays the same. What didn't I do? What did I eat too much of that stopped me from losing? I wish the scales didn't take up so much of my day but I need to know.

The cruise was quite a success I would say on the eating front. I had an amazing holiday, it really is a wonderful weekend away. I did it about 6 weeks ago, my weight before I went was 160, my weight when I got back was 166. 6lbs in 3 days! I really did overindulge though, to the point where I felt ill, but that 'binge' trigger in my head went off and I binged like a binger does! I managed to get that 6lbs off and a further 10 in the six weeks since so it wasn't too detrimental to my new eating plan. This time, however I did do better. I decided not to go crazy and eat everything in moderation, including desserts and bread. I was down to about 150.4 before I went and am now 151.4 so a gain of 1lb after the cruise is good as far as i'm concerned. I went to the breakfast and lunch buffets fully intent on getting a bowl of fruit or salad first, then after that I would go and get meats or pastries and eat a few bites, but already being full on the fruits/salads I didn't feel the need to stock up on stodgy food. Then for the 3 course dinners I would just have a few bites of the app, the meat portion of the entree and a few bites of the dessert. I only had ice cream once a day and even then it was just a few spoons full. It feels like I let myself splurge and have a good time yet I didn't really give in to the binges. This is a whole new way of thinking for me and so far, I like it. I really just want to eat better for life, to not have to grab a chocolate bar a day, or a packet of crisps just for the heck of it.

One of my biggest issues right now is gym time. I haven't been in a week and that kills me. My shift schedule at work has been mostly AM shifts where I get home for about 6. I had hoped that I would go to the gym before dinner but it's so hot (34C today) and i'm generally so exhausted from work that I just can't physically bring myself to go. It feels like I barely have energy to walk up the stairs to the apartment let alone run 3 miles on a treadmill. Next weeks schedule is a bit more gym friendly, a couple of 3pm starts, which means I can gym first before I get tired and before it gets too hot. Also, this next two days off we're heading to Typhoon lagoon and Universal so lots of walking to be had.

I'd love to be 149 by Friday, a goal of 2lbs this week....!

 

[Rori]

I decided after last nights post that I wasn't going to weigh this week. Well, til Friday, which is only 3 days away but i'm petrified! I think because i'm not doing a particular plan, I'm worried that if i'm not getting a day by day update of my gains/losses then I won't know if what i'm doing is too much/too less. We'll see how it goes. But because I wiegh every day (twice a day if i'm honest) I don't really notice when I have lost and I don't get to celebrate the milestones. It would be really nice to step on the scales this Friday and have them say 149! Then if I can get that far, i'll try and make it a regular thing, just the one weigh-in a week!

I got sent home from work today because I wasn't feeling well, and i'm still not. I felt weak and dizzy and just couldn't concentrate, also, looking at bright light hurt. I was home by 3.30 and the heavens opened and we had one of our lovely Florida storms. The plan had been to walk to Publix and buy some salad for dinner and some vitamin C packed juices but you really can't walk any where when there is a storm, it was raining frogs at one point! So I watched tv for five hours (Eeek!) and when it let up I headed to Publix. I think i'm getting a bad head cold, my ears, eyes and throat are throbbing so I got plenty of juice and a good book to see me through the next few days and hopefully it will pass by Friday when I go back to work. I might have to miss out on the trip to Universal and Typhoon (and the gym) for a day or two until it passes though.

Anyway, i'm about to have dinner. I never really wanted to eat after 8pm but I've only just got back from the store and it's almost 10. Eating wise I haven't had a lot today, some special K for breakfast and then a hand full of pretzels for lunch, I just wasn't feeling it today at all. But after some juice and a few ibuprofen I think I can stomach a low cal caesar salad and an apple!

Edit: Low cal caesar salad (yum) and a funsize fudge! Not quite an apple but not too much of a blip!

 

[bronski]

Hey Rori! Yays, I found your diary

Aww sucks you're not feeling well, mate. Hope that's starting to pass and you're feeling better soon. Keep your fluids up, especially if the temperature's rising.

Stay strong on the not weighing front! It's been proven that loser have more success if they weigh once a week/fortnight. You'll definitely monitor the successes more, and it'll give you something to really work for in the week. And it gives you some lenience on weigh day I didn't just say that though!! You should join the Friday Girls, we weigh on a friday, obviously! It's such great solidarity

I'm quite jealous that you're living in America! When did you make the move? Was it hard doing all the planning? I would love to move to San Fran., so many studios *swoon!*

Bron

 

[Rori]

Aaaaargh! I'm finding it so tough today. I don't know why but all I can think about is eating. I know it's a really bad idea, but I have this drawer next to my bed.... it's small, part of my bedside cabinet... and absolutely crammed full of goodies and treats and everything someone calorie counting shouldn't have within reach. It seems to work for me generally, knowing that it's there and not wanting it or needing it. I crave chocolate less if I know it's available. But days like today, where all I want is to feel full and have the chocolate high, it's not good.

I woke up this morning feeling dreadful, I ache everywhere. Everyone headed off to Typhoon lagoon to do some swimming and sunbathing and here I am, 4pm, still in pjyamas, wrapped in a blanket and drinking green tea and orange juice like my life depended on it! I've been grazing all morning though and am worried that i'm going to go on a binge. Surely if I know it's coming I can motivate myself to stop? But i'm feeling very irrational and would really love to feel full on sweet, sugary, carb loaded food.

I'm doing everything I can to distract myself, reading a book, drinking water, looking through fat photos, reading the forums, mailing my sister back in Wales... but the nagging food thoughts are still there!

Food today :
Breakfast: A low fat yoghurt 120cals and a special K cereal bar 90cals
Lunch: stir fried vegetables, three slices of thin turkey and a small corn on the cob - 200cals
Snacks: 5 skittles 30cals, 1 godiva chocolate 55cals

So that's 500 cals, not including all the diluted juices i've had (orange and apple, hugely diluted, it's the only way I can tolerate water) I would add another 200 on todays count for that. 700 cals and I don't feel remotely satisfied. It's ridiculous! I've gradually reduced my calories over the past couple of months so that at the moment, if i'm having a lazy day I would allow myself 700-800 cals, using it mostly for lean meat and veg. And then when I knew i'd be going to the gym or having a physically hard day at work i'd have 900-1000 cals and mostly that would be protein. It's just feels bad that today i've had 700 and haven't even got round to getting dressed yet.

I have a low cal microwave meal in the freezer that's 318 calories. I think i'll have that at 7pm and nothing more. I'll have had 1000 cals for the day with no exercise so bad in terms of my usual routine, but good in bingeing. At least I feel slightly empowered knowing what i'll eat and when. I can now look forward to 7 when i'll be eating. Come on will power!

Also, I haven't looked at the scales today. Go me! I don't know if that's part of the problem with wanting to binge. But i'm determined to get to Friday without peaking! Ok, I need to stop rambling....'I lost it' is on Discovery health, so hopefully that will give me some much needed inspiration!

 

[Rori]

Sorry Bron, replied before seeing your post!

I'm only out in America because of an internship at my college. It's like a year working in hotels in Florida, I only came out because we get to spend the last few months working for Disney and get all their perks, which i'm now getting (free entry to the parks anyone?? lol) It's tough going but it seems to have changed me for the better! Bad food and a free gym was all it took it seems to change the habit of a lifetime! But yeah, it's fun! I'd love to reach goal before I go home on the 18th Aug, then comes the double struggle of maintaining, and being surrounded by good food again! I'll have a pop in the friday thread, seeing as i'm probably going to loiter the forums most of the day! Thanks for popping by!

 

[bronski]

Hey again!

No worries, sorry I snuck in there

Man, sorry you're still feeling so poorly. Hope you're doing better soon *sends Angel Delight and Ribena*

I can empathise with the snack cabinat, I have my America Box, rammed with sweets my friend in Michigan sends me on a regular basis. Maybe have one treat day and have one thing from it on one particular day, that's been my rule of thumb. Failing that, make a ton of friends at work!

If you're feeling hungry, then - and this sounds like a really daft thing to say - you either aren't filling yourself on the right things, or you're not allowing yourself enough. I do think you need to allow yourself more kcals, at least 1200 is the healthiest balance. You might feel like it's too much, but you'll probably find the weight comes off more effectively and you feel more satisfied.

I lost the majority of my weight on about 1200 - 1500 kcals a day. I started, same as you, between 700 - 1000 a day. But I had killer dizzy spells and ended up fainting whilst I was away. I felt so much better on a higher allowence, and it didn't stop the weight loss at all, I promise.

Oh wow, how exciting to be doing an internship in Florida! And DisneyLand *dies!* I think you could very well be my new best friend Hahaha!

Bron

 

[Rori]

Well if you find yourself in Florida in the next 3 months, pop by! lol I get pretty good maingate privileges (freebies in other words) and i'm only a part time/Seasonal cast member. I've not actually got to go out and play with the guests yet but the back stage stuff is pretty intriguing!

I don't think it is my amount of cals, because i've been doing this quite gradually, starting off at cutting back to 2000 (the shame!) and went down to 1800 etc. I went down after plateuing for a couple of weeks until I started to lose again and did that until I got to 800, where i'm at now. I've been doing this for about 4 weeks now and have been fine. I think it's just one of those days. It's the first day in months that I haven't actually left the house, that and I haven't been to the gym for almost 9 days now. We'll see I suppose.

Anyway, I just had a mini-blip of sorts. Not too worried, I had a couple more skittles, a couple of pretzels and six squares of Galaxy that have been haunting me for months! And you know what, the chocolate wasn't even all that. Maybe not eating it often is changing my tastes. I'm gonna suck it up and go to the gym tomorrow, maybe that'll give me a much needed motivational boost!

 

[bronski]

Haha!! If I only, I would love to be in Florida in three months time, but sadly I'm still reeling from my last trip to the States. Maybe I could convince my fiance that we really want to go to Florida for our honeymoon

Fair enough, I must say that's definitely the sensible way to reduce calorie intake by going it gradually. Interestingly, I'd gotten an email this morning from Calorie Count, which had an article about the amount of calories we need. Linkage here. It has a calculator on there too, which is quite cool. I like stuff like that, it fascinates me

Don't fret the blip, it's better that it's not a whole bar of Galaxy or a whole bag of Skittles. Oh though make the most of the Skittles there, there's the funky flavoured ones there too! Wish I'd picked up the chocolatey ones

How've you found living abroad? Are you missing people or are you coping pretty well?

Bron

 

[Rori]

It's certainly had its moments! First few months were exciting and fabulous (except the bit where I stood on my friends scales late October and realised I was 173lb!) Then the run up to Christmas it got depressing, no family, no friends, no cosiness and Terrys chocolate oranges. Had a bad month after Christmas and then by the end of Feb I absolutely loved it and still do. I go home in almost 3 months to the day and i'm petrified! I'd love to come back to America to live though, just probably Manhattan, somewhere with some culture as opposed to Florida, the most touristy place in the world! Where did you visit? Was it Michigan?

----------------------------------------------------------

Ok, for todays ramblings.... weather said rain, rain, rain and more rain. With the odd thunder shower for good measure. So no Universal trip! Which I was so looking forward to, now feeling much more human-like. Oh, and apparently it is now officially summer time here in Florida, so crazy storms are now on the menu til the end of September, good times!

I headed for a walk to the mall this morning, having just had some yoghurt for breakfast. Met up with a friend suffering from laryngitis and who has lost her voice and somehow ended up in McDonalds. I'm not a fan, and have only been there a handful of times. I got some small fries, a side salad and some apple juice, then only ate half the fries, because they tasted gross, as opposed to wanting to behave. And half the salad, because it was, well, limp! On the way back through the mall my friend motioned with her not-so-good sign language that she was going for some ice cream, for medicinal purposes of course, and we ended up in this little boutique ice cream store, selling all this amazing, colourful, homemade ice cream. So I had a decent sized scoop of chocolate fudge brownie. It was awesome. My guilt afterwards was not!

Then I got home for about 1pm and got some sort of crazy second-wind energy and have proceeded to do 3 loads of laundry, including all bedding and towels and anything else that wasn't nailed down. Scrubbed the toilet, swept all the floors and headed back to publix to try out my new work shoes and make sure they didn't hurt. Which they don't. I also bought some more salad items for dinner and a pre-seasoned steak, yum! One of the worst things about the limited fruit and vegetables they sell locally is that they go black, limp or spoiled within the matter of a day. It really isn't worth stocking up on anything fresh as within a day it's no longer fresh and you've just wasted a whole lot of money. Anyway, I started walking back and the heavens opened and I got drenched.

I decided on my walk home that I wouldn't count calories per se... I mean, that was a new thing. I would have a rough guide. Around 2000, around 1800, but never that strict, as if one day I fancied having something that would knock me over that days allowance then I would. I didn't want to ever feel like I couldn't eat what I wanted and join in with everyone eating ice cream at Fantasmic etc. It worked too, that's what got me down to 150. But these past couple of weeks I seem to have gotten myself in a bit of a tizz about it. It mattered exactly how many calories i'd had and it was a bad day if I went over, even by just 50 cals. So I want to get back to before. Where I was freer with myself and just tried to make the right choices. It worked for 20lbs, it can work for the other 20. No calorie straight-jackets! Just intelligent decisions on what and when to eat. Hopefully if I can get into that routine now, it won't hurt so much when I go home and am faced with all my old habits etc.

 

[bronski]

Aww bless ya, yea, I bet Christmas was pretty rough. I'm glad you're enjoying it now though

Hehe, icecream for medicinal reasons. Excellent! It does sound amazing, and I wouldn't beat yourself up it. You only had half the fries, and you'll have burnt a lot doing all the house work.

You're definitely doing the right thing sticking to a healthy lifestyle instead of a strict calorie regime. It's so hard if you're out and about, or buying something in, and for some reason there's no chart on the packet trying to work out how much is in something. Use what you've learnt as a guideline, and you'll definitely make the right choices

Bron

 

[Rori]

Thanks Bron, I already feel better about it, and it's only been one day! It was just nice today not worrying about how much everything was and whether i'd gone over and whether it would affect me overall....pah, i'm too lazy for all of that thinking!

Today was a good day. I LOVE saying that! It started off a bit oddly, as in, last night I couldn't sleep. Don't know what was wrong but try as I might, nothing was happening. I finally drifted off around 3 but then promptly woke at 8am and couldn't get back to sleep. This did not bode well for a good day. I am like a 3yr old, I need at least 10 hours sleep or I get grouchy and start throwing tantrums. I spent a good few hours mailing friends and watching tv and just having a good laze before hitting the gym at 11.30am. I attempted my usual 4mile run on the treadmill and failed abysmally. I've only been out of it for 9 days but it seems like i'll have to re-train back into it. I did about 2.5 miles, but that was with some fast walking as well as running. Still burnt a good 250 cals though as most of it was on an incline. Then I did 15mins on the stepper, which worked out at 130 cals burnt and 50 flights of stairs, it always feels like a really good work out and seems like the only machine that works me up a good sweat! I got upstairs and did some stomach crunches, about 30 which is abysmal and then headed off for work.

I had a lovely time, which doesn't usually happen. Especially when one guest was about to ask me for advice on the best place locally for desserts, then looked me over and said 'nevermind, you obviously don't eat them, with that tiny waist'. I could have kissed her! I almost did. She was being quite rude in her manner, but I don't care, because she said I had a tiny waist! Woop! It's a bit of a kop out I suppose, my waist has always been the smallest part of me, but it's nice to hear it nonetheless.

Food wise, breakfast of a glass of orange juice and frosted mini wheats (a bit high in sugar but soooo good), lunch of a turkey caesar salad with low fat dressing, I snacked on a cereal bar when I got to work and then for dinner they were giving leftovers out in one of the restaurants so I had a small piece of puff pastry, some mashed potatoes and some fingerling potatoes. I try to avoid carbs like the plague, but this was free and it was late so I had a little bit.

I managed to not weigh myself for 3 days, and I have to fully admit to being petrified this morning before weighing, I was so worried that I would have gained after the chocolate and ice cream but it was fine, i'd got to 149 which is what I was aiming for so I was happy. I think I need to weigh Tuesdays though, that's my technical Friday as I have Weds/Thurs off as opposed to the actual weekend. Then it means if I do splurge a little on my days off, I still have time to recover over the rest of the week. So, no weighing until Tuesday, and I hope to be 148 by then! I'm gonna hit the gym hard again tomorrow!

 

[bronski]

Sounds like just eating healthily is really working out for you, hun! Awesome

Haha! What a nice, rude lady! We definitely need more of them in the world!

Don't fret not being quite so on form at the gym. If you've been out a while, it takes a couple of sessions to get back again. But sounds like it was a good workout, go you!

Mmm, free food! Can't turn it down if you're not paying for it!

Ace job on hitting 149! Hooray for hitting the 140s!

Have a fab weekend!

Bron

 

[Rori]

Here goes.... I guess i've stayed away for a few days because I didn't want to admit defeat. I didn't want to admit that I caved and ate so much food that it hurt. Especially as there seemed to be no trigger or anything.
I had a good few days, I stuck to my diet the Sunday and Monday, went to the gym and had a really good session. Then decided to weigh in on the Monday to see how I was getting on towards my 148 goal and I was still 149, infact, i'd gone up to 149.4 which is only 4oz but it stung a little, as i'd been doing so well. I was still a bit ill and got sent home on the Monday as I was burning up and having coughing fits so I stopped at Walgreens on the way and bought some cough medicine and then crawled in to bed and had a nap, but when I woke I felt hungry, so had a caesar salad (I think i'm addicted to them!) but then just couldn't stop myself, and still felt hungry, so started nibbling at a few pretzels, a few skittles, like usual, then had a cereal bar.... still not that bad... then just opened my sweets drawer and went ape and ate a fair amount of crap. At one point it hurt but I kept on eating, like if I was already being naughty then I may as well eat all the foods that I like while I had the chance as the next day I would go back to the diet, which is the kind of thinking i've been trying to advoid and train myself out of.

Anyway, the next day (yesterday) I headed to work, had a good day, wasn't feeling quite so ill. I had my usual breakfast of cereal and was intent on continuing with my healthy eating. After work though the other AM shift (about ten of us in total) decided to go to a british bar for some british food. I still figured I would choose a healthier option but once there that went straight out of the window and I had a huge plate of chips, gravy, peas and a steak and mushroom pie. It tasted amazing, I also had about four glasses of Ribena along with my meal. Then we went home and I couldn't shut myself off, I piled straight into the chocolate and had two milky ways, a few cookies and 4 Godiva chocolates. I felt so bad and so completely useless. I fell asleep early and stayed in bed late this morning, i've never felt so sluggish and tired and almost comatose as I did when I woke this morning, that kind of food is clearly not good for you. I felt depressed too.... like completely and utterly depressed, which again, i haven't felt in a long while.

Today I feel better. I had my yoghurt and juice for breakfast, a cereal bar and juice for lunch and have yet to eat dinner. But I feel ok. I don't feel like i'm going to crack at any moment and launch into a binge, so I'm just hoping it was a hormone related lapse. We even went to Magic Kingdom today and I resisted the urge to head to Mrs Potts ice cream parlour, and they do the best brownie ice cream sundae i've ever tasted. I even told myself that I could have one, but just kept thinking it was a bad idea and wouldn't make me feel good. So now i'm home and feeling good that it wasn't such a dilemma about whether I would have an ice cream or not, I just didn't.
My friend Nicola is on her way over tonight though for some dinner, we usually hang out as we have the same days off. We usually spend them at various parks but it's been raining for over a week now so we've been staying in a lot. She wants to get pizza but i'm going to suggest we get Chinese food as if I eat Moo shu vegetables and tofu, even if I ate the whole portion is still wouldn't come up to more than 1400 cals for the day so I think it's a safer option than huge pizzas and chicken wings.

So yes, that was my bad few days. The scales said 151 this morning, which as i'm sure you can imagine, i'm not happy with. But hopefully, if I have a good few days and have a few more good sessions at the gym I can make 148 by Friday and then we'll go from there. I'd really really like to be 145 by June 1st and I don't think it's completely out of the question just yet.

 

[bronski]

Hey babe! I was wondering where you'd got to

Aww babe, sucks that you've had a rough time of it diet and health wise. Hope you're feeling better on the health front now.

I know I say this every time, so I'm going to sound like a broken record, but don't fret the binges. They happened, and all you can do now is work hard this week. It sounds like you're back on track, so you're doing the right thing. Just don't be over good to make up for it, because the shock of the food vs. not so much food will only make the scales even more unhappy.

It sucks that there's squatters now, but I'm certain with a good week or so of healthy eating, they'll be gone before you know it! Good luck with reaching 145lbs for start of June, you'll do great, hun!

Enjoy the Chinese! If you do get pizza, get it without cheese. Sounds odd, but pizza is just as good without. Promise!

Bron