Scotwannabethin-says it all really!!

[scotwannabethin]

Well, here I am again. Been here before back in 2007-2008. Did LL then and lost over 6 stone which was amazing and I loved the new me. I let the weight slowly increase, although never above 11stone (started at 15stone 6lbs) but in 2009 I fell pregnant.
I was delighted and tried to do the sensible eating thing but the first twelve weeks saw me eating to avoid sickness and it tended to be rubbish like biscuits so no morning sickness for me but also meant my weight was rising from the very start. I started off the 13 weeks plus well craving fruit but it soon turned to eating what I liked and that was my downfall.
I delivered my little boy back in march and was 12stone 10lbs after which wasn't so bad but over the past 10 months I have not watched what I've eaten and had far too many tea and cake days and convenience food and as a result find myself at 14stone 8lbs which I am very ashamed off.
Now, work is looming and my dh would like us to try for another baby and as I know a vlcd works, I am embarking on an intensive few months to get rid of a chunk of the weight before I start healthy eating.
That's the intention and I hope to tell you of my journey on here so bear with me. X

 

[scotwannabethin]

I'm on day two and yesterday was actually quite easy but today has been a different story. I'm starving and already had three packs so far so just one left. I need to get my lo settled to bed then get the final pack of the day.
I forgot how hard the first few days really are.....
But I keep telling myself that I'm on my way into ketosis and how much better I will feel for losing this extra weight.
Off to get a glass of water to see if that helps stem the cravings.......

 

[scotwannabethin]

Another day and another struggle. I know it's in my head but I keep looking at the food lying about the house. I'm sticking to the packs but it's tough. I forgot how tough.
I
My dh is away on business so it's just me and my ds so at least I'm just making for him which is easy as he's just little.
I know everyone always talks about the first time being the golden time and I understand what they mean but I just keep saying to myself that it's a means to an end and that I will feel better for it in the long run and that I will be annoyed with myself if I stop and gain more weight. I don't think I could stand that.

 

[RainbowRose]

Good luck you've done it before, so you know you've got that determination and motivation! the first few days of any diet are the worst as you know, hang on in there

 

[scotwannabethin]

Thanks rainbowrose,

It's Sunday and I had a rough night with my ds so tired. I've had my first pack of the day and already thinking about the next. Looking forward to the ketosis to kick in big style and curb these cravings.
I think that's the hardest thing for me, the feeling like I should be eating and the fact that last time it was easier as I could clear the kitchen and I only needed to go in there to make my packs but this time I am still making food for my ds and I'm finding that a bit tough if I'm honest. He had toast as part of his breakie today and that's one of my favourites (and why I'm here again). Saying that, the leftovers did go into the bin straight away rather than into my stomach so not so bad a start today.
Lots to do today once ds goes for a sleep so that should keep me busy and my head off food.......

 

[scotwannabethin]

Heading off to bed soon which is just as well as I can't keep my head off food. I'm pretty sure I'm in ketosis due to the lovely taste in my mouth but I need to go buy some ketosis sticks.
Lots buzzing round my head tonight about eating and how already I am wishing I was in the position to eat healthily again all be it slimming world type eating. I know this isn't forever, just a few months but right now, at the end of day 4 it seems a very long way away.
I guess there's also the thought of telling folk what I'm doing and the scorn I know will come with it. Especially as I've been here before and I'm sure they will say just that. That it won't work this time as it didn't last time. I don't want to hear it and I hate having to explain myself to folk. I've got a trip to see my in-laws soon with my wee fella and everything revolves round the kitchen table in their house. Bit of a nightmare for me really. I didn't see them all that often the last time I did LL and I didn't tell the folk I worked with until they really saw a difference which was after almost 3 stone. Not sure I can hide it that long.
I just need to fucus on why I'm doing it and what I need to change about my life. I guess moving about is the worst thing. I get off the couch at present and my feet hurt so I end up hobbling which is awful. I look like an old woman. Terrible. That and the tight clothes are a start. I could go on, and I probably will later on.
For now, off to bed to dream of food no doubt!!!! Lol

 

[Clockendkaty]

How you doing today hun?

 

[scotwannabethin]

Hey, busy day with my little one today.
Just sat down with a cup of water. I've done three packs so far and had a bowl of lettuce, cabbage and onion with a touch of mayo. I felt the need to eat something crunchy. I seem to be struggling with the water today. I know I still have about 1 litre to go. Working on to.
Definitely into ketosis now, yeach taste and I used to use gold spot breath fresher but unsure if you still get it or if there is something else I can use. Need to research that.
Thinking about going back to work and I was looking at clothes today but it just depresses me to be honest. I hate that I am looking at huge sizes and guess that just spurring me on a bit more. I want to be in smaller clothes and I found a size 10 jacket in my wardrobe the other day and it just laughed at me. It looks so small but I wore it not that long ago and hope to wear it again soon. I'm going to find a picture of myself after I'd done LL last time and stick it beside my bed. That might help spur me on.

 

[Clockendkaty]

Put the jacket on the front of your wardrobe to remind you of what you are aiming for. I have some stripy size 18 trousers on mine. I haven't fitted into them for a couple of years so that is my first aim.

 

[scotwannabethin]

Thanks, will try that!!
Feeling a bit out of sorts today. Bit light headed which isn't that nice and could do with taking it easy but today my ds has been a little terror crying lots and not going down for his usual 2-3 hour nap which is my wind down time.

 

[scotwannabethin]

I was out this morning with a friend and we went for coffee and as I've not told her what I'm doing she was going on and on about having a cake with my black coffee but I was good and said no.
I remember how if I break the ketosis that it will take a few days to get back into it and then I will just feel stupid for having done it and wasting money on the packs which, as I'm not being paid right now, is money I can't afford to lose!
We're meeting up again on Thursday and going into the city near here which will be an all day trip so lunch will be involved. I am just going to make sure I know what food I am allowed on regular and try my best to stick to that. Joy.

 

[scotwannabethin]

Another day done. Feeling better tonight and I guess it was just a little blip this morning.
I weigh in on Thursday and hopefully it'll be an okay loss, even if I know it's just the glycogen stores. I'm trying to focus on the fact I'm in ketosis and fat burning. it seems like so very far away at present but I am going to try and break things down into small chunks to try to keep me motivated. Treats for me when I reach those goals. Treats in terms of new perfume, make up, a DVD, cd etc. no food rewards!!
My first target is the obvious one of getting from the 14 stone something mark into the 13 stone something mark. Thinking that should be by the weekend if I'm good and things go to plan.
Next target is for when my hubby gets back from his trip which is a week tomorrow. That's perhaps a stretch but you have to aim high right? It's to be 13stone 11lbs. We will see!!

 

[scotwannabethin]

I feel awful today. Really tired and washed out. It's difficult doing this whilst still getting up in the night with my Ds as he's teething. I'm struggling and my time with him is too. I don't like that. I thought the burst of energy came before now. That will be me 7 days come the morning.
I'm gonna carry on with pack tonight as normal and if I still feel rubbish tomorrow I may rethink things. This just can't carry on. I would love to curl up right now and go to sleep as I'm soo very tired but I can't until my ds goes to bed.
Sigh.

 

[scotwannabethin]

Thought I'd better update. I've got horrendous sickness and diarrhea. Not fun and no way I could continue with packs. Little boy has conjunctivitis just to add insult to injury. Brilliant.
I'm sure I'll be back, at some point but can't just now.
Thanks.