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Self sabotage...why?

Hi I've been dieting for years on and off. At my heaviest I was 15st 10. 20 years later I'm down to a record low of 10st 12. But still need to lose about a stone as I'm not that tall. I've realised that as soon as I've lost a few pounds, I feel an almost compulsive desire to stuff myself big time to put back on what I've just lost, it's as though I'm subconsciously panicking about the loss if that makes sense? I don't know why I would do this, because I always feel annoyed with myself and down afterwards and start the diet again. I'm stuck in this loop and can't work out how to get beyond this pattern of self sabotage. Any thoughts/advice? Thanks x
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S: 211.2lb C: 180.4lb G: 126lb BMI: 29.1 Loss: 30.8lb(14.58%)
I hate those days when you just have a desire to eat everything in sight. Every little thing you've been denying yourself. Do you keep a journal? It might help you find a pattern in it. I know that if I stay up very late, or wait too long between meals that I am way more likely to binge eat. Think about how you feel before you do it, and what you are telling yourself (usually that I deserve a treat, or that I'm never going to stick to my diet so I may as well just eat whatever, in my case). It's amazing how much we ****-talk ourselves in our head, without even really knowing we are doing it. Pay attention to those thoughts and find ways to change them. I like to stick positive messages in places that I will see them throughout the day (got one in my wallet that just says 'you got this!'), it might sound silly but it does work.

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