Self Sabotage!

[*jenjen*]

Hey up everyone - hope your weekend is going well and you are all enjoying your Sunday!

I just had a moment of self-revelation about my dieting vicious circle! All deep and meaningful for a Sunday morning really.

I was typing my blog and talking about how I felt a bit blah and and a bit can't be bothered.

Well, this weekend was our anniversary and we planned a meal - I was very meticulous in my planning of this meal, checked out the foods available and picked a choice that would be suitable for me and took my tablet along with me.

That's not the self sabotage bit though.

Basically, since Tuesday, when I last went to the gym, I haven't done any more exercise which I have built into my routine, it keeps me stay motivated with all the feel good hormones it releases in me. I've just kept putting it off because "oh its our anniversary"...

Basically what I do, whenever an event comes along, I just stop doing what I'm doing and then I don't get back to it because when it comes to weighing myself, I think, Oh I haven't lost enough (WI tomorrow, I can guarantee that if I hadn't of realised what I was doing, I would have done this!) and just think "ah, well I will just give up".

But, for the first time I've realised what I'm doing! WOOP WOOP!

So, I just wanted to find out, what everyone else does or says to themselves to "let them off" the proverbial dieting hook...

Because I'm sure there will be lots of other things that my "fat girl voice" (which seems to shout over my "thin girl voice") part of my brain trys to say to convince me to keep me off the straight and narrow...

My "thin girl voice" is back to winning the battle just now however I'm sure my "fat girl voice" will start getting craftier now that I know what its up to!lol

I hope you all understand what I'm trying to say here lol xxxxxx

 

[Mini]

Hi *jenjen*,

Well done on the break through, it feels great when you can stand back and look at yourself and see where you are going wrong.

I just slide into denial and avoid the scales.:sigh:

Love Mini xxx

 

[*jenjen*]

Hi *jenjen*,

Well done on the break through, it feels great when you can stand back and look at yourself and see where you are going wrong.

I just slide into denial and avoid the scales.:sigh:

Love Mini xxx

Oh yeah, now that you mention that, I do that too... I "conveniently" forget that its WI day too...

LOL xxx

 

[crystalfaery]

Well you know it has obviously happened for a reason, isn't it a great feeling when you realise on of your pit falls and it gives you another step forward in the battle because now you can front it and deal with it head on. well done you heres to a possitive week ahead

 

[*jenjen*]

I'm glad I realised before I did any damage to my diet really. I haven't over eaten, I haven't strayed but I have neglected my exercising... and now that I have realised I can face it head on when it strikes again! It felt very empowering.

And I went swimming again and I will stand on those scales tomorrow at WI in day

 

[Iris]

I know that sneaky little voice inside that has its own encyclopaedia of excuses! In the past whenever I dieted I would ultimately fail by tripping over the same hurdle time and again - I'd last about six months on a very strict regime, and then the crafty voice of sabotage would say 'you've been so good, you've lost loads of weight - you're allowed chocolate now!'

This was fatal for me because I'm a hardcore chocoholic and once I jump on the choccie bandwagon, I don't get off until my weight starts to spiral totally out of control. There was another insidious, and very unpleasant excuse I used to make, too. 'You've lost weight, but you're still hideous. You'll always be hideous however much weight you lose.' So that'd often be the only excuse I needed to wallow in maudlin self-pity with a giant box of chocolates!

I think it's fab that you've identified the self-destructive behaviour so you can nip it in the bud. I think it's the food addiction attempting to protect itself - any addict whether they're a gambling addict, alcoholic, foodaholic... addiction makes you very deceptive, particularly to yourself. You'll tell yourself any number of fibs to facilitate your own addiction. I think once you realise what you're doing, though, and decide that you're going to control it, instead of letting it control you, then you're on the path to cracking it.

 

[*jenjen*]

I know that sneaky little voice inside that has its own encyclopaedia of excuses! In the past whenever I dieted I would ultimately fail by tripping over the same hurdle time and again - I'd last about six months on a very strict regime, and then the crafty voice of sabotage would say 'you've been so good, you've lost loads of weight - you're allowed chocolate now!'

This was fatal for me because I'm a hardcore chocoholic and once I jump on the choccie bandwagon, I don't get off until my weight starts to spiral totally out of control. There was another insidious, and very unpleasant excuse I used to make, too. 'You've lost weight, but you're still hideous. You'll always be hideous however much weight you lose.' So that'd often be the only excuse I needed to wallow in maudlin self-pity with a giant box of chocolates!

I think it's fab that you've identified the self-destructive behaviour so you can nip it in the bud. I think it's the food addiction attempting to protect itself - any addict whether they're a gambling addict, alcoholic, foodaholic... addiction makes you very deceptive, particularly to yourself. You'll tell yourself any number of fibs to facilitate your own addiction. I think once you realise what you're doing, though, and decide that you're going to control it, instead of letting it control you, then you're on the path to cracking it.

Thank you Iris... I know that there is going to be many, many hurdles for me to overcome to win my battle but I will win it. Its the first time that I have ever admitted that its MY fault that I'm not doing what I need to do, because at the end of the day, I'm in control of me.

I just need to keep fighting my own will, which is to eat. Lots of junk. Thats what my will is, but its also what I won't do.

Thank you... and if you hear me turning out sob stories or excuses, will you serve a cold dose of reality? Its also known as a kick up the backside! x

 

[KayMarie]

Congrats on the break through, it will really help you in the long run. Personally, I had a similar break through quite some time ago, I used to think, well, I've eaten **** today, so i'll just keep eating **** till the weekend is over then I will start monday, when, I just though, well no, I have had a burger or whatever, but i'll still take my tablet, reap the consequences and carry on with the diet at the next meal and I get on much better that way because I don't make the mistak worse than it already is, I have what I want and then carry on as normal!

 

[*jenjen*]

Thank you for your support everyone - its much needed and appreciated

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

i know exactly what your saying, reminds me of a tom and jerry cartoon....the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other...

 

[kae]

well done you!!! hope i can get in that zone too!!! )

 

[Iris]

Thank you Iris... I know that there is going to be many, many hurdles for me to overcome to win my battle but I will win it. Its the first time that I have ever admitted that its MY fault that I'm not doing what I need to do, because at the end of the day, I'm in control of me.

I just need to keep fighting my own will, which is to eat. Lots of junk. Thats what my will is, but its also what I won't do.

Thank you... and if you hear me turning out sob stories or excuses, will you serve a cold dose of reality? Its also known as a kick up the backside! x

I think you're right that we have to take a big dollop of the responsibility for what we allowed to happen to ourselves... but at the same time, don't be too tough on you! There's so many factors that surround over-eating, and usually there's been some pretty traumatic emotional problems or incidents that have led you into the arms of binge eating. Everybody has a vice, I guess, or a crutch, and ours is food (especially the choc!). I don't think it makes you weak-willed or flawed or anything... there's so many much worse ways of indulging/expressing inner turmoil that you could have chosen but didn't, after all!

Sounds to me like you've got the issue firmly by the scruff of the neck and you're not letting it go until you've dealt with it. No kick-up-the-jacksies needed I'm sure, so long as you've always got something, no matter how small, to look forward to each day/week/month, you'll keep to the straight and narrow and get where you want to be. You've got it licked - and many congrats again on the 7lbs!