Hey Hannah, I know exactly where you're coming from....On my first CD journey I started at 17.3, got down to 14 and then stopped without going through the plans. Last May I signed up to restart, weighing 15.12 - did 9 days, lost 14lbs and then the CDC I was using told me she couldn't get anymore stuff for me for a few weeks, so again, stopped without going through the plans.
So, here I am, AGAIN. Start weight of 17.3 (madly ironic to me as it was same as first time round!). I am on my 4th week now, and have managed to lose 18lbs in my first 3 weeks. This time round I am determined to do it properly, I am sick of this constant battle in my life. I do not aspire to being a size 10, I know that I will not be able to sustain it and it will make my life miserable by trying to. My ultimate goal is to be a size 14 - in my eyes this is a perfect size for my frame. I got to a 14 before, many moons ago just before I met my hubby and I actually looked quite gaunt!! So I guess I'll see how things go along the way.
4 weeks ago I was bursting out of my size 20 clothes, and now they are oddly loose. I no longer have to wriggle into my jeans and do some lunges to loosen them up, they just glide on. However, the size 18's I have are still around a stone's weight loss away yet.
So far I have made myself dead proud with my 100% dedication. I had one bad moment last week when dishing up my hubby's evening meal, but abstained (by fleeing the house in tears lol). I am so committed to doing it and doing it right this time that nothing will tempt me to stray from it. At the mo I have raging tonsillitis and feel like poop, I'm struggling to get anything past the swelling in my throat, so I guess I am slightly lacking in my water intake but I am making my shakes with 500ml of water in the hope that it will bump up my water intake.
I really do wish you every bit of luck for your journey. To decide to do something so extreme (to me) means that you have no lower to go in your esteem. Already I feel like I am walking taller, maybe that's my pride in my achievements boosting my esteem/confidence, or maybe it's something else, I don't know....but I like it!
I come on this forum every day and I would be honoured to 'ride along' on your journey if you like xxx