Stay as you are.....

[Sarah Lou]

It's no secret that I am a returner and I did not loose all my weight the first time as a lot happened in my life and my drug of choice is food. I will always have to be careful around food especially when my emotions take over but what I have realised is that apart from work and the odd night out my life is empty so to fill it I have used food. Food to make me happy, if I am sad or bored. The only "diet" and I use that with a bit of tongue in cheek was when my ten year relationship ended and I lost five stone. The odd thing was that despite loosing all that weight I felt my world had been ripped apart and I never enjoyed the loss as I was so miserable. So now year apon year I have just got heavier.

My sister visited yesterday and asked if I was on that stupid diet and I didn't really answer her. She is a nurse practioner and I can't listen to her go on and on about the CD plan and all the things she didn't agree with. I asked her what she would do if one of her patients was over weight ? she launched into her speech and I glazed over.. I then said I didn't go on about her wine drinking!!! and what that could be doing to her.. it was almost like that didn't count. I did eventually say I was doing a plan, straight away she said oh for god sake it was your Birthday Friday when are you ever going to stop trying to loose weight and except you are big and leave it at that.

I quickly replied that as a nurse I thought she would support me as it would have health benefits.. she then said yeah it would but you never actually end up doing it apart from then and pointed at a picture my Mum has up which was taken after the heart break diet.. to top it all she said, but in that picture you were skinny as a bl**dy rake and looked awful.. so what should I look like then??? (I lost the plot then ) well like you do now, so all in all it was a pointless conversation that went nowhere.

Round two happened today and again the D word was raised.. on my sisters departure home she casually said.. Don't forget don't go back to that Diet, you are fine.. you are just big.. a big baby.. a big teen and now a big woman.. see you soon ... bye

I know I havn't had much success.. and I also know that putting food in my mouth is of my own doing.. but for gawds sake I wish that somebody somewhere would give me a break and at least comment what I have acheived.. like the small matter of being diagnosed with an incurable illness, but I still manage to work and don't ask anything of anyone despite feeling pants a lot of the time and the endless remembering of when to take my pills and potions.. sorry guys I'm not feeling sorry for myself but I do try hard and sometimes a little encouragement from Family would be nice.. rant over .....

 

[Lily]

You rant away, blossom x x

Silly nurse. I'm a former nurse and my OH is an intensive care nurse and I say, you have to do what works for you. And we know Cambridge works. Sticking to it is the tricky part - but that's true of all diets. :sigh:

Use it as motivation, babe. Show her, show 'em all!

Big hug :bighug:

 

[cornishkez]

Sounds like your sister needs to address her attitude! How incredibly unsupportive and those comments just ooze of *****iness?! Why would she want you to stay big? Why would she insult the way you were before. She should be happy for you, and keep her opinions to herself!

You never fail, until you give up trying!

You can get all the support and understanding you need here. I know it isnt quite the same.

The best of luck with your journey, turn all this emotion into motivation. Do it to spite her and prove her wrong!

 

[cornishkez]

Just re-read that and realised it might sound quite harsh against your sister, it wasnt meant to....I just hate it when people give their unhelpful comments and opinions.

Theres that old saying 'if you cant say anything nice?'

 

[Sarah Lou]

Kez and Lily thanks for taking the trouble to reply.. it's been bothering me all day so I thought I would get on mini's and have a read of all the posts and then I my fingers took over and I started typing away to get it off my chest.. Kez you are so right.. attitude does need adjusting.. there are times when she can be so lovely but watch out if she doesn't agree with something

I will as you said try and put my energy into doing what I am doing. I realised a few weeks ago that I don't have much going on so I am going to start a new hobby, I've already bought a new kitchen table and I'm going to make things.. don't know what yet but it will keep my fingers occupied! x

 

[Sarah Lou]

Don't worry about your post Kez !! it is the truth.. she can be very difficult, thank god her husband does keep her in line when he is about.. she leave's our brother alone as he would just give her what for.. lol we are very different people and my Mum does wonder if she belongs to us!!

 

[spangles]

There's something about siblings - they still have the relationships with us that we established as kids, where everyone else in our lives treats us as adults.

My big sister is 7 years older than me, so left home for uni when I was eleven, and for her, it's often hard to think of me as older than that (I'm now in my late 30s!). And despite the fact that I'm a capable, professional person, she tends to be bossy and dismissive and patronising with me.

Anyway - you know she's wrong. That's all that matters.

 

[Krissykat]

Sorry to hear about the lack of support hun!
Unfortunately I have found alot of people to be like that, especially with TFR diets. But I am noticing now that the weight is coming off peoples opinions are changing and they are using it as inspiration to start dieting themselves, whether they do or not is another matter.
If you can, take her negativity towards you dieting and use it to aid your motivation and help you stick to the plan, I'm sure you can do it.

Also if you wanna keep distracted there's a thread on here for crafts, we just share things we are working on and tutoials etc, so pop over and take a look if you like : CD Craft Club

 

[Trolley Dolly xx]

Morning,
I read your post and know exactly what you going through. I will have to deal with the same reaction from my sister in a week or two, she is on holiday now! I have tried healthy eating, therapy, hypnotheray and cd , and still 5 over weight.
I lead a very lonely life, as I shut myself away with food. Decided to do CD again as need to break this distructive cycle.
Stay big...heard that too..is she threatened by you if you get thin.
You sister has some issues, do what is right for you and keep strong. Don't let her remark drive you towards food..do it for you and you have control.
I am starting 18/01/2012.
Good luck..you can do it. If you sister brings it up, just refuse to enter into the converation with her, my sister says she worried about me having a heart attack..well eating the way I do is heading me straight for one! No logic..do some research on the diet..don't spout opinions when you can not back them up!!
Sorry about rant. Do what is right for you and be kind to your self x

 

[bevlier]

Remember: People only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun and tired of their shade. x

 

[axagem]

Hi Sara Lou, your sister’s comments may be based on lack of knowledge about the diet and probably even down to other gimmicky types of VLDC out there attracting a lot negative press. Therefore people tend to group all VLCD's in the same basket. Also some people are very happy for others to remain as they are so they can feel better about themselves. Whatever the reason for your sister’s comments don’t let this sabotage your desires. Instead use this as the reason to prove to yourself (not your sister or any other saboteur) that you can do it!

 

[KBQueen]

Its lack of knowledge about the diet that makes people rant about it! My Mum went off her head when I told her what I was doing but I sat her down, went through the steps etc and now she understands it and is fully supportive xx

 

[Nette]

Poor you Sarah Try and use her negativity to make you more determined. I actually keep CD a secret now I find it much easier that way x

 

[Kira]

SarahLou just read this thread and I so feel for you. I am a returner for the zillionth time and this time I do feel differenlty about attempting Cambridge. I spent from Oct 201 to Dec 2011 trying to do SS and failing to go the whole way. Longest I did was 2 weeks and failed and tried again. 14 Dec I made the decision I WANTED and needed to lose weight.

The point I am trying to make I tried not to do SS and decided I would do SS+ and if I could I'd do SS on the days I could. That buffer of having the 4th shake or food from the allowed SS+ meals made the difference to me being able to get this far. I had a few days off over the festive period but did not gain and I got myself back on track. Yes it was hard but with the support from Minis and the books on overeating, emotional etc recommended by many on here I have lost 1 stone since 14 December.

If you have to do CWP in secret do that if it helps you stick to plan. You can do this is you really want to. However, I clearly didn't really want to lose the weight until I restarted on 14 Dec because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired as a result of being overweight.

I suggest you updte your profile details, eg your start date, current weight and goal weight. It helps me when I log and and I see where I started and what I'm aiming for. x

 

[Lily]

SarahLou just read this thread and I so feel for you. I am a returner for the zillionth time and this time I do feel differenlty about attempting Cambridge. I spent from Oct 201 to Dec 2011 trying to do SS and failing to go the whole way. Longest I did was 2 weeks and failed and tried again. 14 Dec I made the decision I WANTED and needed to lose weight.

The point I am trying to make I tried not to do SS and decided I would do SS+ and if I could I'd do SS on the days I could. That buffer of having the 4th shake or food from the allowed SS+ meals made the difference to me being able to get this far. I had a few days off over the festive period but did not gain and I got myself back on track. Yes it was hard but with the support from Minis and the books on overeating, emotional etc recommended by many on here I have lost 1 stone since 14 December.

If you have to do CWP in secret do that if it helps you stick to plan. You can do this is you really want to. However, I clearly didn't really want to lose the weight until I restarted on 14 Dec because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired as a result of being overweight.

I suggest you updte your profile details, eg your start date, current weight and goal weight. It helps me when I log and and I see where I started and what I'm aiming for. x

It's tricky when you're a returner, isn't it? Because I was open and honest with my family when I did Cambridge the first time around (losing 5 and half stones that time). But my family were concerned, trotted out the lines we've all heard about 'surely it can't be good for you', 'you'll only put it all back on', and those spectacularly helpful 'are you sure you won't eat with us? One meal won't hurt, surely?' lines.

I was steely in my determination, LOL. Sat with a glass of water when we went out for meals, refusing so much as a nibble. And it paid off big time, obviously. But there comes a time in every Cambridge dieter's life when you come off the plan. If you're exceptionally disciplined, that won't be until you're ready to work your way up the steps. Most of us aren't great at exceptional discipline though (cos if we were, I guess we wouldn't be overweight in the first place ).

And that's when, of course, as every Cambridge returner knows, it all gets a bit trickier. Getting back on the wagon is nowhere near as easy as you thought it would be when you were comfortably in the throes of ketosis. Ketosis is wonderful like that, LOL. When you're in it, you find it hard to believe that you'll ever go back to your old ways of troughing. "I've learned how to behave around food," you think. "Doing Cambridge has cured my compulsion to eat everything in sight."

Uh uh. It hasn't. Once those pesky carbs are back in your system, it's amazing how you suddenly find it hard to face the thought of getting back on a VLCD. And worse, if you manage to get through the first 5 days of a restart, you're still not back in the clear because you know how, or rather, you think you know how to 'cheat' on the diet. All the things you wouldn't let yourself do the first time you did the diet suddenly seem semi-acceptable. Like picking at chicken. Or ham. Or nuts. Or cheese.

Because now you know how it works. You know that all of those things are low in carbs so it won't affect ketosis so therefore there'll be a day when you can stick to SS and you can wait, because you know that Cambridge works really quickly once you're back in the groove. Except, when you're a returner, getting back into the groove isn't as easy as you think it's going to be, because all that picking at chicken, ham, nuts and cheese flicks the guilt switch in your 'diet head' and suddenly you're eating all the stuff you didn't mean to eat. "Never mind," you think. "I'll get back on the diet tomorrow…"

Oops. That perfect diet that we found called Cambridge, that diet that we found to be the best we'd ever tried, now causes us to act in exactly the same way as all the other diets we've tried. And if anything, it's worse, because now you've got the nagging thought that it doesn't matter, because eventually you'll be back in the groove and the weight will fall off because it always does once you're SS-ing…

LOL. Note well, newbies. If this is your first stab at Cambridge, make it your one and only stab if you possibly can.

And old hands… In my 4 and a bit years of posting on this site, I've seen it done. It is possible to get back on the wagon and see it through - but it's going to take ten times more steely determination than it did the first time around!

So bring it on…

Come on, Sarah Lou. Let's do it, blossom.

 

[spangles]

oh lily, i tried to rep you for that brilliant post, but apparently i need to 'spread it around a bit' before i rep you again. Ooer!

anyway, what a golden post. really helpful to me as a first-timer. Has stiffened my resolve that whatever else happens i need to view CD as a one-time deal.

 

[Felix]

I agree that was a brilliant post Lily! You are very very wise.

 

[redhead66]

Wow, it seems like a lot of the old names are back for the final push.... old in the nicest sense of course

Good to see you back, Sarah Lou. I'm starting back tomorrow for my final time.

Does your sister live up in the Yorkshire area by any chance, as she sounds just like the nurse practitioner working for my GP's practice, who spent 15 mins lecturing me about "these fad diets" this week when I rang to check there would be no problems doing SS on my long term meds?

Cornish Kez's advice to convert the emotion into determination has really hit the spot with me - I've had any number of comments, particularly from family, since I said I was coming back to CD.

Let's do this together and b****y well show them that losing weight properly doesn't mean looking dreadful, it means becoming the babes we've been hiding away for too long

V x

 

[Kira]

Lily!! Thank you for that post!!! I so don't want to ever to CWP ever, ever again!! It is SOOOO hard to get back into it. This time I will see it through properly and I am working on addressing my issues with food which I didn't do the previous times.

 

[MsPea]

Just to say I read your message and really identified with it. I'm almost scared to tell anyone I'm on CD as people either make negative comments eg "oh, that's so bad for you" "you'll just put it all on again" etc
Or...what I could call 'false' positive comments eg "you're perfect as you are" etc Er..no.. I'm clinically obese and if I want to have children need to take action fast.

Just remember that everyone has issues around food/ weight/ body image and that they have their own reasons for their comments. Just do what is best for you and what makes you happy. When your sister starts to see your weight loss and how happy you are, I'm sure she'll come around.

Maybe try only telling people on a 'need to know' basis eg if you are at someones house for dinner and need to explain why you're sipping a carton through a straw and only drinking water!

Good luck...