Story thread
- Thread starter CW Consultant
- Start date
canireallydothis!!
Gold Member
pool of banana CD shake, omg said gary and stripped down to his walkers logo'd underpants and jumped straight in.
"WAIT" shouted willy, there is somthing in there, its..................
"WAIT" shouted willy, there is somthing in there, its..................
salad
Member
"Beautiful" said willy as he stood mesmorised beside the lushious banana pool.
"What is it?" asked Gary as he slowly waded through the thick liquid.
It's amazing said Willy but what is it doing here?
"What is it?" demanded Gary.
"Look, its a gap that takes you to another land."
Gary peered closely and on the other side he could see a different land that was so different to their own.
"What is it?" asked Gary as he slowly waded through the thick liquid.
It's amazing said Willy but what is it doing here?
"What is it?" demanded Gary.
"Look, its a gap that takes you to another land."
Gary peered closely and on the other side he could see a different land that was so different to their own.
CW Consultant
Gold Member
The snow sparkled and icicles glistened like diamonds in the trees sparkling with winter sunshine.
Cor said Willy this is ace, lets go investigate.
They stepped into the snow and suddely realised Gary was still in his underpants. They both shivered. Luckily to their left was a cupboard filled with an array of fur coats (fake fur of course) in various colours and sizes with matching furry moonboots.
They both quickly picked their coats, after a little disagreement over a rather fetching fake leopard skin print with matching hat, Gary finally let Willy have it as he after all had the snooker cue
They went off to investigate, in the distance they could see something red, wonder what that is lets go see. As they approached they could make out a blurred shape, it was a large bloody footprint.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh they shrieked and ran back to the exit, Gary got there first as Willy tripped over the hem of his coat then got cue stuck in his oversized boot.
To their horror they way out to Joe Pasquale's Appreciation Museum had gone. Gary felt a cold chill run down his back it was ..................
Cor said Willy this is ace, lets go investigate.
They stepped into the snow and suddely realised Gary was still in his underpants. They both shivered. Luckily to their left was a cupboard filled with an array of fur coats (fake fur of course) in various colours and sizes with matching furry moonboots.
They both quickly picked their coats, after a little disagreement over a rather fetching fake leopard skin print with matching hat, Gary finally let Willy have it as he after all had the snooker cue
They went off to investigate, in the distance they could see something red, wonder what that is lets go see. As they approached they could make out a blurred shape, it was a large bloody footprint.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh they shrieked and ran back to the exit, Gary got there first as Willy tripped over the hem of his coat then got cue stuck in his oversized boot.
To their horror they way out to Joe Pasquale's Appreciation Museum had gone. Gary felt a cold chill run down his back it was ..................
CW Consultant
Gold Member
roadmap, here he said use this to find your way out of here its not safe, then like a dream he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
How are we supposed to drive with these boots on cried Willy.............
How are we supposed to drive with these boots on cried Willy.............
salad
Member
"Take the boots off" sighed Gary!
This was turning out to be one of those days thought Willy as he slipped his delicate feet out of the boots.
Just when would it end he pondered. Suddenly his thoughts were interupted by a gang, led by Angela Rippon who had turned the corner and were now heading straight for them.
Gary looked frantically around for an escape route but could find none. They were trapped. What did the gang want with them and why were they wearing that?
This was turning out to be one of those days thought Willy as he slipped his delicate feet out of the boots.
Just when would it end he pondered. Suddenly his thoughts were interupted by a gang, led by Angela Rippon who had turned the corner and were now heading straight for them.
Gary looked frantically around for an escape route but could find none. They were trapped. What did the gang want with them and why were they wearing that?
Mrs Depp
Gold Member
Angela was leading a huge crowd of television has-beens all chanting and waving plackards with slogans on them. Angela's plackard had "I'm not just a presenter-I can dance" on it. Then there was Matthew Corbett whose plackard had "I'm best friends with Sooty" on it. Bob carolgees was carrying Spit under his arm. Nookie bear was alone-he'd had an acrimonious split from Roger de Coursey. Bernie Clifton was wearing his ostrich tights but had forgotten to put the body on too, so looked very peculiar indeed! Bonnie Langford was high-kicking at the back of the crowd (they wouldn't let her in front as she thinks she's still a star!)
Willy and Gary frantically looked around for an escape route, "Quick! This way!" said a voice they both recognised. It was Des Lynam. "No thanks!" said Willy, "We'll take our chances and go the other way!" Willy then grabbed Gary's hand "Hey I'm not like that Willy! I like girls!" said Gary. "Don't be stupid Gary, follow me!" And they ran towards the crowd in the hope that they could push their way through the frail old has-beens and on to freedom.
Willy and Gary frantically looked around for an escape route, "Quick! This way!" said a voice they both recognised. It was Des Lynam. "No thanks!" said Willy, "We'll take our chances and go the other way!" Willy then grabbed Gary's hand "Hey I'm not like that Willy! I like girls!" said Gary. "Don't be stupid Gary, follow me!" And they ran towards the crowd in the hope that they could push their way through the frail old has-beens and on to freedom.
CW Consultant
Gold Member
but the ground was icy and they slipped heading straight toward a huge crevice in the ice
devonbabe
Silver Member
the crevice was very long and by he time i had reached the end, i had a very cold bottom and was duying for a pee. i landed with a thud on the glacier below. a crowd of penguins scattered in all directions and i lay sprawled on the frozen surface. i felt a warm air, quite fishey smelling, a bit like like a polar bear with bad breath. as i regained consiousness, i realised i was lying flat on my back, and indeed there was a polar bear standing above me,i was impailed between his huge front paws, and his thick white belly hair was tickling my nose.
good afternoon...said the polar bear in quite a clipped english accent. how very nice to meet you. my name is Archibald, and i am.....
good afternoon...said the polar bear in quite a clipped english accent. how very nice to meet you. my name is Archibald, and i am.....
CW Consultant
Gold Member
tentacles
icemoose
The Diet Guy
Nice tentacles I said!
The polar bear said "Pardon?"
At this point I decided to make a run for eat so I kicked him right in the tentacles and made a run for the nearest Matalan shop which happened to be just over the road, when I ran in I noticed they had a great offer on brazilian.....
The polar bear said "Pardon?"
At this point I decided to make a run for eat so I kicked him right in the tentacles and made a run for the nearest Matalan shop which happened to be just over the road, when I ran in I noticed they had a great offer on brazilian.....
DQ
Queen of the Damned
butt implant pants, to give you that J Lo butt regardless of what the Lord blessed you with initially! What I hadn't realised what that Archibald the Polar Bear was coming after me, clutching his throbbing tentacles and looking distinctly cross
As I shot past the security guard at the entrance to Matalan I said...
As I shot past the security guard at the entrance to Matalan I said...
icemoose
The Diet Guy
Are you still doing BOGOF on bath towels?
The security guard clearly flustered by the Polar Bear about to attack us both decided this was the ideal time to ruin his white security trousers!
Sheer luck they also had an offer on them so he went to aisle 3 to get some new trousers.
I turned to continue running when I noticed something small, shiny, yellow and very noisy in with the £3 jeans, MY GOD!! IT'S A !!!!!!!!!!!!
The security guard clearly flustered by the Polar Bear about to attack us both decided this was the ideal time to ruin his white security trousers!
Sheer luck they also had an offer on them so he went to aisle 3 to get some new trousers.
I turned to continue running when I noticed something small, shiny, yellow and very noisy in with the £3 jeans, MY GOD!! IT'S A !!!!!!!!!!!!
CW Consultant
Gold Member
Banana Bliss with a Bee trying to break in
Isobel1965
Gold Member
So I grabbed the Bliss with the Bee breaking in and ran over to the Iceland store cos that's where mums go, and flung the Bliss into the nearest freezer. Alas - in my haste, I bisected the bee on the doorjamb and as the little fella froze, I detected a tear in his one eye.
"Hello, matie, what's your name?" I gingerly asked the half a bee.
"I'm Eric, the Half a Bee of Monty Python fame" he squeaked.
"And I hope you have a good lawyer cos I'm going to sue your arhse when I thaw out".
Just then, all thoughts of litigation were pushed from my mind when I felt a large, warm hand on my.......
"Hello, matie, what's your name?" I gingerly asked the half a bee.
"I'm Eric, the Half a Bee of Monty Python fame" he squeaked.
"And I hope you have a good lawyer cos I'm going to sue your arhse when I thaw out".
Just then, all thoughts of litigation were pushed from my mind when I felt a large, warm hand on my.......
CW Consultant
Gold Member
Brazilian butt implants - are those real a husky voice said, I spun round and was about to whack this creep when I was amazed to see it was........
Isobel1965
Gold Member
ex-Atomic Kitten, Kerry with the big jubblies. "Blimey, Kerry" I cried! "You really do shop here?"
"Give over, don't be daft" she retorted.
"I'm only here to film a new tellybox ad to project a mumsy image whilst obscuring my real motivation which is to do this!!!" as she grabbed my hand and dragged me into a back storeroom......
"Give over, don't be daft" she retorted.
"I'm only here to film a new tellybox ad to project a mumsy image whilst obscuring my real motivation which is to do this!!!" as she grabbed my hand and dragged me into a back storeroom......
