Strange comment in developers last night...

[SandraEG]

Something very strange happened last night in my Developers group. A couple of the lovely ladies I went into development with are thinking of starting management. They were askng how it worked and the LLC ws explaining how you reduce packs and increase food. Fine and dandy as it's good to know what will happen.

At the end of the meeting one of the women said to me 'you could do it too because you can still buy packs' and I just looked at her and thought 'have you learned nothing about the way the diet works?'. I said to her 'I can't start management - I still have 6 stone to lose!'.

It's a bit disturbing because you kind of expect those comments from other people. A lot of people say I don't look like I still need to lose 6 stone BUT I am 16 stone something and want to be 10 stone something - so that's 6 stone to lose. I am a size 20 in jeans. I am not being over the top in my expectations. I still have a long way to go.

Anyway, it just made me really angry because I do struggle a lot and have lapsed and the last thing I need is someone telling me I should start management with a BMI of 37!!!! I don't know if she was just being totally clueless or what. Not sure whether to trust the people in my group anymore. I'm getting a bit sick of the comments from one or two others who think I'm losing too fast. (Yes - well that's the idea!) What I really need is the support of the group.

 

[hippoellie]

I think people are often clueless about how much other people weigh and their expectations- when I said at the start of my diet I needed to lose 7 stine everyone (without exception) exclaimed and said- too much, you'll be tiny blah blah. Well, no, if I lose 7 stone I will be 25 BMI- in other words normal and at risk of being overweight if I indulge at all. I think you just have to get used to this, because people really do not get it! Though I would have thought that people on the LL programme would have been a little bit more clued up!

 

[SharonA_1970]

I totally understand where you are coming from on this one Sandra. I too have often wondered if people truly learn anything following this plan, well some people anyway. I am quite surprised how many people think its a quick fix. We also have to remember though that not everyone is "emotionally" ready to tackle their food issues and that they will lapse. After all no-one is perfect. I think what you have to try and focus on is that you are doing it for you and no-one else and so long as you are happy with what you are doing then try to let these negative strokes not get the better of you.

 

[Kate78]

Oh Sandra, so feel for you.

I’m only 6 weeks in people are already telling me that I don’t need to loose any more…..Um I’m a size 16(ish) 13 stone person, I do still need to loose weight.

BUT, to get this from your LL peers I would be mad, they have followed foundation to, so you would think that they would realise that these comments are completely destructive to you.

All I can say is keep it up and ignore these comments. If you want to loose another 6 stone, and it sounds as though it would be healthy to continue to at least a BMI less than 25 then you just go for it. You know that the diet is safe, and that it works when you don’t cheat.

Just keep remembering how fantastic you have done so far, and how much you have lost, keep it up and keep on smiling.

Kate x

 

[SandraEG]

Thanks all!

That's exactly the kind of support we all need...

 

[Geri]

Hiya Sandra,
mmm strange thing for her to say....

Try to put her comments out of your head, and carry on with YOUR journey.. All being well she will be in Management soon, so will no longer be in your group

Keep shaking hun
love
Geri
x

 

[katie_oxo]

I agree it is a strange thing for someone who's on the programme to say - as has been said you'd expect it from someone who wasn't on the diet ..... maybe it was her way of being nice??

You keep on going, you'll know when you're the right weight for yourself and for starting management

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hi Sandra

I was sad to read your post; comments like that ARE inappropriate and you are right to be angry. What is it about Development? It's as if the gloves are off and no feelings are spared!!

I have read about similar comments but not experienced them myself in either our Foundation OR Development groups, which I think is, in part, down to our LLC who runs a tight ship. If you like your LLC, why not have a quiet word about boundaries?

Or, if you are feeling brave, voice your concerns BUT of course it really depends on the group dynamic! You will know if it's a safe place to vent!

I love your blog and I know you are in touch with Dietgirl (who's FABBY).

Keep going, Sandra - you WILL get there.

Take care.

Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[In search of me]

Trying to "reframe" the comment, could it be that she was trying to say that she would miss you when she moves into management & just didnt put it well? Just a thought....

 

[10stonesize10]

I think your friend from class might of just been tring to make you feel not left out
and wasnt really thinking when she said it.
It was Her way of saying we have all done so well !!!!!!!!!!
I wouldnt let it bother you
and just carry on as you have been
good job and good luck
XXXXXXX