Struggles all round!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by emzski, 7 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. emzski

    emzski Full Member

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    Hi Everyone

    Hope all the new starts are getting on fine with the packs and drinking lots of water.

    Ive been struggling the last little while. I just cant seem to regain my focus. However today has been good and I think I have identified a few problems which may explain why I'm struggling.

    1. Lots of strokes lately
    2. Starting a in the new developers call tmrw, im very very nervous, I dont like change!
    3. This is the biggie, my ex boyfriend who I was with for over 7 years (we got gether at 14 and he was my first love and best friend for a long time, we lived together and moved away just the two of us together so he was a MASSIVE part of my life) contacted me at the weekend, I hadn't seen nor heard from for near 6 years. Its thrown me a bit and instead of focusing on LL ive been going over the past ALOT!! Its all been quite difficult.

    Im also feeling full of dread as ill be starting devlopers and think ive not lost anything this week. I just want to fit in the group and im not very good with established groups. I find it hard to comeout of my shell. EEEKKKK!!

    Today is like a fresh start so im going to write out my goals and focus 100% on them. Im so close now and i dont want to fall by the way side. I really want to see this thru to the end.

    I just want to leave the last couple of weeks behind and move on with LL!
     
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  3. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Oh Em, sorry you're having a bad time at the moment. I find that at times this diet is hard enough without other crazy emotional issues that come my way! Sounds like you've had a bit of a bombshell there and it's totally understandable that you'd be unfocused. But dont beat yourself up about it hun. You're doing so well. So many people fell off the wagon over Christmas and a few of us more so over New Year! And yeh, it's hellish difficult to get back on it. (I actually think the biscuit tin in my office is speaking to me. I had a full on conversation with it yesterday!!)
    I put on a pound this week. But I'm not letting myself get too upset by it. My new philosophy is that that's in the past. I can't change it now. All I can do is focus on the future and make the changes that I need to make to get what I want from my future!

    Much respect for not giving up though. The fact is that yeh, you are anxious about moving to Developers, and you have concerns about whether you can focus 100%. But, it hasn't stopped you from continuing. Picking yourself up and starting again. That's got to be worth a bit of a "well done", don't you think?

    Keep on it honey.

    B x
     
  4. emzski

    emzski Full Member

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    Thanks Bekimo

    Yeah your right I havent given up which in itself is a big thing. I just need to focus on my goals.

    Yeah the whole Ex Boyfriend has totally thrown me. I didnt really realise how much I missed him so its all been a big shock. I think while on LL it should be arrange with the big man up above that we have no other things happen in our lives.

    Im having abig night tonight where im going to refocus myself. get all the pics out and re focus, remind myself why im doing this!
     
  5. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Good plan hun!

    Ex's always know the worst times to come and show their faces!

    I am sure you'll get your head back in the game! Why do I have a sudden urge to go off on a "High School Musical" tangent everytime I say "head in the game" now?!

    B x
     
  6. lil miss mummy

    lil miss mummy Full Member

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    I think that you have made the first step in recognising it. Just draw a line underneath it and start a fresh! You just need to get back into the swing of things again. This diet is very hard and very challenging but look how far you've come! You have done amazing and you are on the final step!! big hugs xx
     
  7. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    Wow, just been looking at your albums and you look AMAZING! You've done so well.

    I posted about moving to Developers a few nights ago and was feeling rather cr*p, but I'm sure that the anxiety about it will be worse than the actual group - after all, we're still all in the same boat and you'll probably wonder what you were bothered about. For me it was more the mental block that I thought I'd have finished abstinence at the end of Foundation, when realistically this just wasn't going to happen, so I have a bit of rebellion going on too.

    As for the ex - wow, that's got to bring up loads of old emotions. You are right to get refocussed and set some new goals, etc, and when you've come out the other side of this difficult bit, you'll have grown your self esteem so much because you managed to get through. How good will that be heading into the future and the real world?!
     
  8. emzski

    emzski Full Member

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    Thanks everyone

    Yeah Im gonna draw a big line under it, set my new goals etc tongiht ant its FOCUS FOCUS all the way. Its getting out of the way things, it takes a push to get back in the swing of it all. I know that I can do it and I will!

    Yeah I think the thought of developers is prob a lot worse but I just getting a feeling im going to walk in and they will all be best friends, ill sit on someones "usual" chair and they will all hate me!! Ugh so scary!

    Yeah I have had a lot of emotions running around since meeting my ex and its strange. I always felt things were left in a bad way so it was nice to put that all behind us. I would like us to stay in touch but im not sure if its going tohappen or if its good for us to. Time will tell but for now Im just getting my head down and getting rid of this 1.5 stone!!!
     
  9. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    Dont make eating the focus of your day, the point is that you can can concentrate on him and the past and still eat your packs

    The food packs are something that are just doing... look at it as a minor thing you are doing that is part of your routine, its not special does not need concentration and can be achieved easily.

    You can do it, just dont make it a focus of your day.
     
  10. emzski

    emzski Full Member

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    I shall make sure that at my first developers meeting tmrw I do not wear a skirt!! That way they will be nice to me :8855:

    Thanks everyone, feeling a lot more positive now. Just started slipping back into bad habits but the important thing is I identified it and am addressing it.
     
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