struggling right now <sad>

[downesy]

God, I'm having one of those days today, was in college all day (flamming Sunday I know). Went for a walk at lunch time, and ended up in Tesco so hungry, I had tuna wrap in my hand and started to walk to the counter. At the last minute I ended up putting it down and walking out but I was so so close to tears, I don't know why, just a really crappy day. But I've managed to stick to it...just! I hate that I'm still on a diet, I feel that I'll never be off it. I'm never normally like this, don't know what's wrong today

And I know exactly what you mean about Evans, I'm now out of there thank God and can shop in most places now though - and girls believe me when I say being able to walk into a shop and know you'll get something to fit is such a pleasure after so long being a size 24+.

 

[Witchy]

Well blooming done for that walk out bet you feel proud of yourself now, but not at the time, i was like that on Friday night had a right sulk on cos I wanted pizza, didnt get it though and felt great all day yesterday for it.

 

[contrarytintagel]

Birthdays and such

Hi all, I had my 30th birthday back in March and although I wasn't on CD I was so upset with myself for not dealing with my weight and therefore not doing all kinds of things that I had a miserable day. All I was aware of was all the clothes I couldn't wear, all the activities I want to do, but haven't because of my weight (scuba diving, go karting etc), and all the opportunities I've missed. I was so ashamed of not dealing with it sooner, and missing out of lots of things in my 20s... Now I'm trying to put all that right and think it's worth so much more than one day. I agree about doing something different - if I had my 30th again I'd go to a snowdome and toboggan or something equally silly and non food related!! And be proud that I'm now doing something about my weight and (fingers crossed) getting somewhere...xxxx

 

[broxi]

Hi Contrary, I've missed years of my life and fun by being overweight I'm sure. All the nights out I've dreaded etc. I'm not so bad now as I have become much more accepting of myself but it is still such a waste.
Downesy, I have one of those every day since I started - well some of it like that except today. My husband tells me- This too will pass- and I try to think of it like that. Alcohols have to live their lives without drink when they really want to so I'll just do it and the feelings do pass. But it is hell!

 

[Tamgredan]

Ah bless you xx

It might feel tough and we all get like this, but just think to yourself "i may be missing out on drinking on my birthday this year, but next year i can really enjoy it and be out in a skimpy black dress and looking hot hot hot"

My family has had a BBQ today and yes i sat there and drank water. But when i got the feeling of weakness, i just though it worth it for these few months, as next year i can be sat here, enjoying food and looking stunning xx it helps me get over my 'weak moments'

 

[Witchy]

Im trying to think of it this way, we dont want to be what we are, we want to be what we should be like, we walk through life avoiding old friends and dreading the fat comments etc, clothes not fitting properly and I know I dread getting on a plane, what we are doing is taking get strengh and restraint so everyday we succeed is a day nearer our goal and for that we should be proud.

 

[Eternalflame]

Good morning GBS.. Hope you are feeling good today. I just peeped at our losses, they are all good. If you've had a week, just maintaining that, then thats good too. I'd rather maintain then put anything on and its your body also adjusting to that weight too. So a pat on the back for everyone who has come this far, we have all lost haven't we? The scales haven't increased week by week? We are in this for the long haul, so be proud of your achievments. xxx

 

[schindler]

all the activities I want to do, but haven't because of my weight (scuba diving, go karting etc), and all the opportunities I've missed. I was so ashamed of not dealing with it sooner, and missing out of lots of things in my 20s... Now I'm trying to put all that

Hi Contraryintagel
Just thought I would let you know that I have always been huge but have tried not to let it stop me - I am an Advanced Open Water Scuba Diver - qualified at about 16.5st! A lot of the blokes are much bigger too -so as long as you are relatively fit you are OK.... that said I have thrown on the weight after giving up smoking and now dont feel safe diving until I have taken a shed load off... I suppose the point of this message is dont regret it, sign up with your nearest dive shop, you will enjoy it... it opens up a whole new world...

 

[MissGonnaBSlim]

im absolutely amazed at how positive you all are on this thread.......

GIRLIES, YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!!!

you know what amazes me the most though? we are all so similar, all of us have avoided something that we really want to do because of size, whether its flying, scuba diving, nights out - it doesnt matter, its something that we didnt do because of how we look and feel about ourselves. my personal one is snowboarding, i so desperately wanted to learn to snowboard with my kids at the beginning of this year and didnt because i felt conscious of size...i have regretted it ever since.

but its gonna change for all of us, we are all here now, with more strength and determination than we have probably ever had before and we are tackling our biggest fear head on!

so...

WELL DONE GIRLIES FOR TAKING NOT ONLY THE FIRST STEP BUT THE BIGGEST AND HARDEST STEP AT THE SAME TIME

xxx

 

[Witchy]

im absolutely amazed at how positive you all are on this thread.......

GIRLIES, YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!!!

you know what amazes me the most though? we are all so similar, all of us have avoided something that we really want to do because of size, whether its flying, scuba diving, nights out - it doesnt matter, its something that we didnt do because of how we look and feel about ourselves. my personal one is snowboarding, i so desperately wanted to learn to snowboard with my kids at the beginning of this year and didnt because i felt conscious of size...i have regretted it ever since.

but its gonna change for all of us, we are all here now, with more strength and determination than we have probably ever had before and we are tackling our biggest fear head on!

so...

WELL DONE GIRLIES FOR TAKING NOT ONLY THE FIRST STEP BUT THE BIGGEST AND HARDEST STEP AT THE SAME TIME

xxx

i think this place helps if I was doing it on my own I dont think I would be still on it.

I want to go skiing next year and If I lose my weight I will dare to do it, will be great as its something ive never done and I think the kids would love it.

 

[contrarytintagel]

Hi Schindler, I know you're right but I do struggle with this! A few years back I went to Peru on a white water rafting, trekking, mountain biking jaunt, determined to do it regardless of weight. It was the best time of my life but I won't forget how humiliating I found it when they struggled to find a wet suit that would fit me, and trying to wriggle into it in front of a mini van full of tiny size 8 girls. It was just horrible. I'd like to say I'm confident enough to do it regardless, but I'm not! I don't want to have to put a brave face on anymore.... All credit to you for not letting it stop you!!! xxxx

 

[Witchy]

Hi Schindler, I know you're right but I do struggle with this! A few years back I went to Peru on a white water rafting, trekking, mountain biking jaunt, determined to do it regardless of weight. It was the best time of my life but I won't forget how humiliating I found it when they struggled to find a wet suit that would fit me, and trying to wriggle into it in front of a mini van full of tiny size 8 girls. It was just horrible. I'd like to say I'm confident enough to do it regardless, but I'm not! I don't want to have to put a brave face on anymore.... All credit to you for not letting it stop you!!! xxxx

All credit to you too honey, you are doing great as well xx

 

[schindler]

Yes but my "bravery" for doing it anyway has been my downfall. Its the reason for my "reverse anorexia" I have always looked in the mirror and seen a small person - its only recently that I have forced myself to face facts and acknowledge and see the fat person.

Well done with the weight loss so far - I hope I do as well at my weigh in

 

[contrarytintagel]

Isn't it funny how many variants of food issues there are. I have a very small head so when I look in a small mirror all is well, then get a glance of myself in a shop window and suddenly realise I've been kidding myself!!

Good luck for your WI xx