Lol..
Gg is here with the stern talking too!
First of all stop giving out to yourself; it just perpetuates the desire to eat! And once you are in that cycle it can be damn near impossible to break out of it! So take a deep breath, accept that you have done it, praise yourself for learning something new about yourself and now move forward and work on having a different response to eating.
For emotional eaters (hands up me... and so badly it became a true addiction to escape reality) it is not about eating things you don't like etc. It's about using food to cope with/suppress an emotional response rather than working through it... so rather than really process the emotions you basically eat them down to reduce the stress feeling. It gives a sense of release/calm/oblivion etc. Think of the smoker who is frantically trying to get their lighter to work and then the smile that comes over their face as they have that first "hit".
Emotional eating is a learned response and therefore the good news is that it can be unlearnt. Usually it's picked up in childhood where you learned to suppress your own feelings about situations in various ways (could be you were ignored when you tried to say how you felt about something, or verbally told it didn't matter etc) .. whatever the method you picked up the message that your feelings weren't as important as those around you.. . in psychology they call it losing "your voice". I suspect, based on what I know of you hon, that you can think of many instances. It's what you did to survive your childhood at the time... and in certain circumstance/with certain people that reaction is triggered again. They also say in psychology that under anger is hurt ... that anger is just a manifestation of internal pain.. and there is such a thing as an emotional memory.. so the feelings from today can have triggered emotional memory of previous times your voice was suppressed/not heard and that can make you feel out of control cos the reaction seems, on the surface, out of proportion to the event.
The advice I have been given is that when i have the urge to eat like that I have to think of it like a suspect thought... and then think about what's behind it. A pen and paper usually help.. and it doesn't have to be sentences .. it can be words etc.. but basically you try and jot down what it is that is going on ...what are you really feeling and acknowledge it. And look at your behaviour during the event; did you back down/stay silent even though all your gut instincts were against it? In otherwords did you fail to protect yourself .. that can bring a sense of shame/powerlessness/hurt etc... and those aren't comfortable feelings so you "eat them".
Does that make sense? I do have a link that I posted before about emotional eating; want me to dig it out and post it again?
