Taking issue with "you look....errr... WELL"...

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by loula, 7 February 2010 Social URL.

  1. loula

    loula Full Member

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    Evening all,

    Need to vent and share!

    I went round to a friend's last night - there was me and two friends. Another friend and her boyfriend came over, and I haven't seen the boyfriend very much over the last couple of years. He gave me a hug, quite clearly looked me up and down, and said "nice to see you Lou, you look.....errrr.......uhhhhh..... well....". I read this as "Hi Lou, you look like a big fat whale and have blatantly stacked on shedloads of weight". OK, he might have been genuinely saying I looked well but I just can't see that. Apart from the fact that I looked hideous last night - thought it was just a quiet night in and so was wearing jeans/sweater/ no makeup etc.

    I just didn't know what to say. So I removed myself pronto, went into the garden and smoked 3 cigarettes back to back, and made an excuse and left shortly thereafter.

    Am I being too sensitive? It was probably just a little comment that meant nothing to him but it really knocked me sideways. I've been sulking about it all day today in fact.

    Why couldn't he have just said "hi how have you been" or "good to see you", rather than having to comment about my appearance. GAH!!!!!

    Loula x
     
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  3. CalicoSoneji

    CalicoSoneji Full Member

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    Aw, dont let it get you down!
    If he did mean it in a nasty way in a few months he'll be eating his words!
    I think some people just dont realise what they say can actually hurt someone. Not long ago i was driving around with my best friend when her boyfriend rang her and was talking to her for a while. He'd been drinking alot and ended up going to be sick and his friend took the phone (who i've only met a few times but thought was a nice guy). My friend asked him why her boyfriend was being sick and he said 'because your with liz' which if it was any of my other friends i would have laughed out but i dont think i know this guy well enough to make comments like that. I was hurt (never said anything though) when i realised it might not have been a joke, he might have been saying it to be a di*k. Also that the fact i think he didnt know i could hear him.
    I just keep thinking that i cant wait for him to see me when i've lost all this weight because im not going to give him the time of day!

    Chin up - people like that arent worth your time!

    x x x x x x
     
  4. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    Ahhh, sadly another case of male stupidity. It happens a lot I'm afraid, we are quite daft creatures.

    I'm sure he meant nothing harmful by it, he probably just did the typical bloke thing of starting a sentence before thinking about how he's going to end it and then realised he shouldn't have even opened his mouth to begin with; I've done it enough times to know!

    Please don't get yourself down (or worked up!) about it :) besides, looking at your avatar pic he's clearly daft or blind anyway 'cos you're clearly a gorgeous gal ;)
     
  5. roratone

    roratone Member

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    This is along the lines of the "You look tired" comment I got this morning. I had been up since 5am doing an airport run to collect blokey but that blatently was not the point!!!

    My reply, "Are you saying I look rough"

    This lady was mortified - she thought she was being sympathetic, i thought she was being critical and my reply told her so

    DON'T take comments personally - they are just other peoples (often unwanted) opinions that never should have left their mouths x
     
  6. loula

    loula Full Member

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    Thanks guys! And you're gorgeous too Pete ;)

    Calico - I love your makeup in the pics btw - I'm a bit of a makeup junkie - it's WOW!

    Julie - "are you saying I look rough?!" - made me really chuckle!

    Can always count on the peeps on here to cheer me up!

    Lou xx
     
  7. CalicoSoneji

    CalicoSoneji Full Member

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