Talking to friends about your weight

[treasureBelle]

Just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar.

I was visiting my housemate's boyfriend in hospital tonight, and found that I was actually able to talk to him about my weight. The main reason, though, was because he has been overweight himself, and understands what I'm talking about.
He used to be 21 stone, but lost half his bodyweight in the past year. (He ended up being anorexic at one point, but he's past that now.) He says he doesn't regret losing the weight at all; the only thing he regrets is the way he lost it - he basically starved himself in that time.
I've lost weight before, but have put it back on (and more) since coming to uni. Now I'm ready to start losing weight again.

It was nice being able to talk about it openly, without someone trying to convince me that I'm "not fat". Finding someone who understands everything about it, and who has actually been overweight themselves, really helps me, because he's actually been there and isn't just talking out of his arse.

I have another male friend who has never had a weight problem, who refuses to believe that I'm as heavy as I am; he's picked me up several times, and claims that he can only lift his own bodyweight, so I must be lighter than him. I wish!

Does anyone else feel that sometimes, only people who have actually been in your position can actually understand?

 

[poptart]

hi treasurebelle

yes ur right,i think when people say that.some do it to try not to sound nasty,like its paying u a compliment,but i think doing u more harm,there are ways to tactfully tell someone..but i too feel comfortable talking to someone who has been there,my sister is the other end of the stick,she cannot put weight on and struggles,she eats like a horse,but is only a tiny frame,but when shes been ill and lost weight she finds it hard to put it back on,she has also said oh i dont look the weight i am and always says i carry it well etc,but i dont think she understands when i look in the mirror..i dont see what other people say they see..but it sounds like u found a good friend to confide in tho,never have too many of those

 

[stacy87]

My best friend is really bad for commenting on how I don't need to lose weight. It's always "I need to lose weight not you". I now put off going to her house for dinner because everytime I do, we end up with takeaway even when she knows I'm trying to lose weight and she needs to! im glad I have this place to come and share with though

 

[vixter]

I don't actually have any friends who are heavier than me My mum is doing the diet along with me and does weigh more than me at this point, but it's not the same really....
All my skinny pals have been really supportive tho, but am glad I came to this forum and can speak to people in the same boat as me.
In fact I've found now that I'm as guilty as anyone for the old 'you don't need to lose weight' line, in my eyes my best friend is still the skinny old size 8 girl I know and love but she tells me she's not an 8 anymore, in fact she's a 12 and she's loving having me to discuss weight loss with. I now see that just cos she looks like I would LOVE to look doesn't mean she shouldn't lose the weight for herself.

xx

 

[*Sparkles*]

I have one friend who is heavier than me and she is probably the only person who I feel really understands how I feel about my weight and how hard it is to get it off.
Other friends moan about their weight but there is no way I could tell them how much I weigh or my clothes size and its mostly for this reason that I will shop myself as couldnt face anyone knowing.

 

[syren]

My best friend is heavy, she unfortunately lives out of town or i'd be dragging her butt to the gym with me ..but at least i do have her to talk to and i'm hoping that with my progress she'll want to join me on my journey.. because i know how hard it is when a friend loses weight and you don't. I originally started trying a year ago without much success and a friend of my sisters who started the same time as me lost over a 100lbs and was coming to my pool party and i stressed about how good she was going to look ! lol I do have another friend who knows she needs to lose weight but won't change her lifestyle or eating and it's frustrating cuz she wants to go out and eat crap and drink beers and i just can't and when she asks me to go out I turn her down quite a bit because i don't want the pressure.. and just now my HR manager who is MUCH larger than me just called to ask if i wanted pizza for lunch ! She was trying to convince me that it was okay to eat and it was healthy.. lol these people are saboteurs and it's good to talk with only people who understand and support you.

 

[*Sparkles*]

Sometimes as much as it's good to have friends who understand you and want to lose the weight with you I think it's better to do it by yourself. My friend has suggested loads of weight loss related stuff but at the end of the day doesn't follow through with it and I'm left feeling disappointed so I'm sticking with me now.

 

[The Journey]

I think having a friend or relative to lose weight with is great, but I've also found that it can be a hinderance in some cases if they go off track because they can drag you down with them.
I have a friend that I'm supposed to be doing this with but while she started out very motivated she hasn't kept up with it. My sister was also supposed to join me but never did.
I think that's why having forums like this is so important because there are so many people just as committed as you are who can help you and vice versa.
Of course I think it would be GREAT if my friend or sister were to get really serious about it as well, but maybe once I start showing more results they'll feel like If I can, they can too, or at least they might feel like they're being "left behind"
In the mean-time I'm glad to have you all

 

[brightlightkatie]

I'm glad I've came here too !! I can't really talk to my friends about weight. They are pretty much all heavier than me bar one who is teeny tiny, and she is the only one I can talk to without her saying "you dont need to lose weight" and "dont be silly". I feel embarassed talking to most people about the weight though, on one hand it would be nice to have an actual conversation with someone but then on the other I'd be sitting there thinking 'oh so they agree with me, they think im overweight, they know im overweight". It makes it more real I think....

 

[CeeCee-is-MeMe]

I think ur right. Only People who have experienced it can understand. I'm not saying others can't sympathise but the will never fully understand.

I'm by far the heaviest of all my friends and family. I've had the "you don't need to lose weight" "just more of you to love" "if you lost weight, you wouldn't be you any more" etc. But ultimately they know full well that I need to lose a LOT of weight!

The sad thing is my bezzy mate is my only mate with a few extra pounds and we talk about losing weight constantly and have done for 12 years. However the majority of these talks are conducted whilst out for dinner, eating some big dirty burger or wolfing down a filthy choc cake.
We really don't seem to help each other! Even though everyday we say we will keep each other going...

Hence why I'm over the moon at finding this site!! :-D everyone is so supportive and helpful!
I really feel this time is THE time! And hopefully all the support I've been shown on here i can share with my bezzy and others besides (to support them)

Gud luk everyone

Ccxx