annaphylactic
Guess who's back...?
Ok, so possibly the shortest and most dramatic interlude - but I'm back!
I felt so so terrible last night - properly lost the plot and couldn't see through the mist of the tears and f**d to see that any good could have come from my indiscretions.... but here I am, feeling on top of the world - DETERMINED to see this through to goal, and all thanks to you lot and your support. I felt quite good when I woke up - well, actually, I felt rubbish (convinced I looked HUGE again, my tummy felt bigger, I felt wobbly etc, and I just wanted to die... but this in turn made me feel quite good about the fact I have the power to change that)...
Then I put on some cheesy pop and padded through to the kitchen to make my brekkie shake and - and I'm not usually a gushy emotional sort (who am I kidding) but a song came on by Beyonce called Listen (if you watched Dreamgirls/the X Factor final you'll know it) and I just burst into tears...
Now - you should definitely listen to the track - it is a stunning song whether you are 'into that sort of thing' or not... and, if you have lapsed and come through it, it may strike a chord. For me it was the things I was saying to my alter-foodie-ego... the part of me that has controlled my life for so long and I was putting my foot down. It was so empowering!!!
THEN I log on here, and frankly - I feel I could climb Everest right now.. the support from you all has been out of this world and I really really needed it. This forum is most certainly a part of my journey, and I now know it is as crucial for the bad times as well as the good - and I feel I've made some good friends on here. I hope we all get a chance to meet up one day. Slendablenda, Blonde Logic, Andy, Sweety, Catz, LS, Porgeous, Vintella, Mandy, FYM, Guy... from the bottom of my heart and all that mushy stuff... thank you
Emzski, Pete, Tange - thank you for the PMs - was going to write back individually, but everything I want to say is here in this thread, but a huge glittery genuine THANK YOU!! for caring enough.
Ok - this is turning into some sort of horrible tooth-jarringly-sweet Oscar acceptance speech, so I'll bugger off...
But do me a favour and listen to that track I mentioned - it's called Listen by Beyonce and here is a link to a video of it..
YouTube - Listen - Beyonce
And the lyrics...:
Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my own...
**************
Thank you all so so so so so so so much...
Love to you all xxxx
:grouphugg:
BACK ON TRACK :checkmark:
NO LOOKING BACK :checkmark:
RENEWED DETERMINATION :checkmark:
I felt so so terrible last night - properly lost the plot and couldn't see through the mist of the tears and f**d to see that any good could have come from my indiscretions.... but here I am, feeling on top of the world - DETERMINED to see this through to goal, and all thanks to you lot and your support. I felt quite good when I woke up - well, actually, I felt rubbish (convinced I looked HUGE again, my tummy felt bigger, I felt wobbly etc, and I just wanted to die... but this in turn made me feel quite good about the fact I have the power to change that)...
Then I put on some cheesy pop and padded through to the kitchen to make my brekkie shake and - and I'm not usually a gushy emotional sort (who am I kidding) but a song came on by Beyonce called Listen (if you watched Dreamgirls/the X Factor final you'll know it) and I just burst into tears...
Now - you should definitely listen to the track - it is a stunning song whether you are 'into that sort of thing' or not... and, if you have lapsed and come through it, it may strike a chord. For me it was the things I was saying to my alter-foodie-ego... the part of me that has controlled my life for so long and I was putting my foot down. It was so empowering!!!
THEN I log on here, and frankly - I feel I could climb Everest right now.. the support from you all has been out of this world and I really really needed it. This forum is most certainly a part of my journey, and I now know it is as crucial for the bad times as well as the good - and I feel I've made some good friends on here. I hope we all get a chance to meet up one day. Slendablenda, Blonde Logic, Andy, Sweety, Catz, LS, Porgeous, Vintella, Mandy, FYM, Guy... from the bottom of my heart and all that mushy stuff... thank you
Emzski, Pete, Tange - thank you for the PMs - was going to write back individually, but everything I want to say is here in this thread, but a huge glittery genuine THANK YOU!! for caring enough.
Ok - this is turning into some sort of horrible tooth-jarringly-sweet Oscar acceptance speech, so I'll bugger off...
But do me a favour and listen to that track I mentioned - it's called Listen by Beyonce and here is a link to a video of it..
YouTube - Listen - Beyonce
And the lyrics...:
Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my own...
**************
Thank you all so so so so so so so much...
Love to you all xxxx
:grouphugg:
BACK ON TRACK :checkmark:
NO LOOKING BACK :checkmark:
RENEWED DETERMINATION :checkmark:
:devilangel::queen::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
