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the dieter's prayer

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by lare73, 15 January 2011 Social URL.

  1. lare73

    lare73 Full Member

    Posts:
    76
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    18st7lb
    Current Weight:
    16st7.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st13.5lb(10.62%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
    incited by my wicked diet.
    "We are what we eat," said a wise old man!
    And, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can !

    I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain,
    But, at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
    So grant me strength, that I may not fall
    Into the clutches of cholesterol !

    At margarine I'll never mutter
    For the road to hell is paved with butter.
    And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
    And Satan lurks in every waffle !

    Give me this day my daily slice,
    But cut it thin and toast it twice.
    I beg upon my dimpled knees,
    Deliver me from jujubes please !

    And when my days of dieting are done,
    And my war with Snickers bars is won,
    Let me stand with the heavenly throng,
    In a shining robe...size seven, long !

    I can do it, Lord, if You'll show to me,
    The virtues of lettuce and celery.
    Teach me the evil of mayonnaise...
    Of pasta a la Milanaise, potatoes a la Lyonnaise...
    And crisp-fried chicken from the south ...
    Lord, if you love me... shut my mouth
    !

    :)


     
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  3. Stackhead

    Stackhead Slow and steady...

    Posts:
    2,852
    Likes Received:
    248
    Start Weight:
    21st9.5lb
    Current Weight:
    15st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    5st13.5lb(27.51%)
    Diet:
    Calorie counting with MFP
    Pahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

    Genius.
     
  4. maclynn

    maclynn Silver Member

    Posts:
    675
    Likes Received:
    16
    Start Weight:
    17st13lb
    Goal Weight:
    14st10lb
    love it:D
     
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