I've had a lot of time to think over the last week (now I don't spend every waking second thinking about food or cooking or eating) and the penny has finally dropped. Only I can do this just as essentially only I can sabotage this. I don't want to feel bad about myself anymore and only I can make myself feel better. I am the one in control here!!! All these years I've just said 'I have no self control' like it was a reason. It's not a reason it's a lazy excuse and it's one that stops here.................rant over.