The Wanderer Returns

Russiandoll

Russiandoll

Carpe diem
Hi everyone

Well, here I am after the year from hell ... frankly can't wait to see the back of 2007.
The death of two young people very close to me within 6 months of each other, my dear dad's ongoing terminal illness and an event so bad I can't divulge it to ANYONE has knocked me for six ... add to that the fact I was given a depo jab in Feb followed by a mirenal coil in September (all progesterone based), my ability to cope with it all was seriously diminished and I turned to my drug of choice ... food.

Consequently, I've regained almost everything I lost in 2006 in just 10 months and am back at the start.
It feels like that film 'Ice cold in Alex' where they spend ages winching a lorry to the top of a sand dune just to see it roll all the way to the bottom again :(

I feel AWFUL and don't know how I've managed to get through Uni this year. I don't want to see anyone I know, I don't want to go out, I HATE what I see in the mirror ... I'm at the end of my tether.

Anyway, I've made an appointment to see my CDC on Jan 4th - will start SSing on the 5th. I can't really afford it to be honest but my options are so, so limited.

I feel a bit of a fraud ... I was a Wemitt before and I clearly didn't 'really mean it' or I wouldn't be back here but I'm back anyway hoping to find some like-minded buddies.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and will be having a wonderful New Year.

xx
 
Hi Debbie,
nice to see you back on the site !
although i havn't been throu a millionth of what you have, i'm also feeling pretty rubbish about myself but i just couldn't face CDing again, although i do ned to find a fast way to get rid as the weight is causing havoc with my back.
anyway i wish you all the best for 2008 & my support is allways here
xx
 
hi russian doll
i remember reading your journal and experiences in 2006 and you were an inspiration
i am 100% positive that you can do it again
dont be hard on yourself - life threw some horrible things at you and you had to find a way to cope
best of luck next week
xx
 
Hello Debbie,
I too felt as you do being a wemitt and not seing things through. I now like to think of myself still as a wemitt and it meaning never giving up whatever it takes. I have taken a sometimes frowned upon method of losing my weight but its working for me. It is totally understandable that when life deals out a tough time we use whatever means necessary to scrape through as you have. Food is also my drug of choice my op has taken that away and i am coping , and my dieting attempts were so horrendous i could not even stick to the pre op diet but afterwards everything is different. I couldn't afford £40 a week for CD and had to get a loan for my op it costs me £150 per month . I find it and don't begrudge it , i have no doubt its saving my life.

Whatever you need to do Debbie your a wemitt and i pray that 2008 is a wonderful year for you and why? how ? or when you lose weight should be when you are strong enough to do so . Thinking of you and send you lots of love and positive thoughts !
Take care Sweetie love Julie xxx
 
Hiya RD

Sorry to heard about the crap year you have had, here's to a much happier 2008.

Anything I can do to help you lose weight you need but ask.

Take care

Mike
 
Thanks for the welcome back everyone. I'm not going to make huge sweeping promises because I'm still 'fragile' ... all I can do is promise to do my best. I just hope that's good enough to claw my way back and reverse some of the damage.

Lovely to see you Irene.

xx
 
You and me both RD! 2007 has been the year from hell for me too! But I'm alive and raring to get fit n 2008.
Starting at SW on Tuesday being dragged along kicking and screaming by a mate so theres my first incentive! She's done really well so far...4 stone off since July 2007. I know its not as quick as CD but been there lost the weight and put on again so can't do it again. I totally respect you for going for it again. Good luck for that and a happy 2008.
Kam x
 
Hey, sweetie - I'm with you, hun! Restarting on Jan 7th after the Toon meet - so long as my doc signs me off my medication for a poorly back.

((((HUGS))))

PS did you get that horrid thing removed? lol You know which one I'm talking about!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Yes Issy - had it removed a few weeks ago - thank goodness!! I'm starting to feel human again so that might be the key to restarting.

Progesterone is the spawn of the devil!!
 
Thanks everyone

This time last year, I was 5st lighter and I still remember how good that felt. Instead of being negative about how much I've regained, I need to hang on to the memory of how wonderful it was to enjoy clothes shopping, how brilliant it was to bump into people I knew, how unrestricted movement was, how I could walk for miles ...

I've done it once - I can do it again.
 
Thanks Cheryl

It's getting to the point now that I'm actually getting 'bored' of the rich Christmas food. The tortilla chips & dips lay unopened, the tin of roses hardly touched (well, not by me anyway). A bar of galaxy whole nut has been sitting on the bedside table for a week with just 4 squares missing. There are two mince pies missing from one box of the three we bought (I didn't eat them), alcohol-wise I've had 2 glasses of Lambrusco - one at each meal on Christmas & boxing day - 1 snowball and 1 glass of Baileys.

Yes, I've eaten ... too much and the wrong stuff, but I could have pigged out loads more.
Maybe I'm ready to do this. :innocent0001:
 
I am sure you are Debbie, it is just a case of getting the right balance. Too tough after all you've been through may be too much, too relaxed and you won't get the results you need, which will drive you up the wall.

As you know, least I hope you do, you are greatly admired for your strength, commitment to others and wealth of knowledge. Aside from the fact that you are simply a lovely person! So make the most of all of us, we are all standing beside you, cheering you on, thrilled with your successes and sympathetic to your problems. We WANT you to be the slim, fit and healthy Debbie that you so deserve to be.

Good to have you back Dear Friend, it has not been the same without you!

Much Love
 
Hi Barb

So lovely to see you ... you're such an inspiration when it comes to dogged determination - glad you're still here to share all the ups and downs with :)
 
After the year you've had i dont blame you for not being up to much!!!
If you were able to loose 5 st before i am sure you will have no problem doing it again!! You are a strong person who has the determination to do this diet so just look forward dont look back!
 
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