male or female.. it makes no difference . i recently terminated my friendship with one of my oldest girl-friends because she had turned into something that i simply dont want in my life any more,... cheating on her husband, lying to people who were friends, very crude and brasque........ just really not very nice at all. I know that some people say that love / friendship etc should be unconditional but its not for me. I have my own boundaries that I lay down an if people cross them then I dont want to have that sort of person in my life. I miss her terribly.. but i miss the person that she was, not the person she has turned out to be. :-(
I agree with klare - women can be just as bad - and it's a sad state of affairs (no pun intended).
Here's something you might find interesting...
I once worked for the Jane Goodall Institute of Primatolgy and read some very interesting science papers as a result. One was based on the similarities between how different species of ape interact in the mating sense. Apparently, there has been study into humans and their relationships and some scienctists think we're more like chimpanzees (for instance) than we realise. There is some belief that humans are not 'designed' for monogamy as such, but that it is natural to want a 'top' partner but with many other 'options' too. It's like that in chimpanzee troops - males tend to prefer one female and her company, but will 'mess around' with the other females in the troop too, especially if his top choice going through gestation or nursing (I saw this for myself as my job was to translate the trackers notes from the Gombe National Park into 'science' lingo and then write a report on it. Certain males really did like certain females, and funnily enough this seemed stronger as they aged...the younger males were more promiscuous...sound familiar?).
Now a know a lot of people will say 'pffft' to this - and I am not saying for a moment I believe in it. Perhaps it was the scientific 'thinking' of someone wanting to justify their own behaviour hehe
But it did make me think...people who have affairs find it hard to leave their wife/husband and a lot of times they never do...with the affair fizzling out. I know finances play a part in it a lot of the time, but it still made me think.
I was cheated on with a boyfriend and it hurts like h*ll. The feeling of betrayal runs deeply, regardless of how close the couple may be (perhaps this is the fact that nobody likes to feel second best, and again links to natures use of hierarchy etc - nobody wants to feel lower down eh?).
I feel for this woman - she must be devestated.
I often wonder why people do this...is a fumble worth losing everything over? Hard to see that it is personally.
P.S I really am not defending his actions - just sharing something with you x
wow .. what on earth is your official title for the work that you do.. i never came across anyone who did anything like that for work.. i would actually agree with most of what you read in the science paper. More so.. who ever decided that as humans we should only ever have one partner at a time..... lots of cultures dont, and it is considered the norm for multiple partners to be married ( and it works both ways with some cultures being one male with mult - wives and in others, one woman with multi-husbands) ........ in our civilisation, western european culture, as far as I am aware it is religion that has been used to dictate how we would live, marry, etc and we are all so set in that way ( totally understandably, im there too) .. that we aren't able to coope with anything that isnt seen as the 'norm' in our society as we know it. But even going into the pagan religion whose history preceeds the christians, we would have a handfasting which only lasts for 12 months and then the couple can either renew or go their seperate ways
Ooh I like lots of interesting information... although it reminds me just how many braincells have withered away since I had my son lol.
Great thing here: the woman phoned most of the women and told them he was cheating as somehow they all though they were his only GF! how did he find the time to con them all?? She set up a website where people can post info/pics of people who aren't who/what they say they are! Xx
LOL it wasn't anything fancy. I did a degree in biology and during my third year I read a paper by Dr Anne Pusey who is the director of the Jane Goodall Institute of Primatology in Minnesota, USA. I found her work fascinating so wrote to her about going about doing an internship with her. Never expected to hear back but she replied and said if I got a 2.1 or above she'd give me a 12 month internship. So I went for it. I was sponsored by her and the Museum of Natural History (both were integrated into the University of Minnesota) and split my time 50:50. I did translation and review for her and taught classes at the museum. When my VISA was running out they offered me a chance to do a PhD with them and I so wanted to - I would have been able to go to Tanzania to actually do field research, but because I wasn't American I would have had to find funding as they could only give me some towards it -was something like $50,000 a year - fees and my living costs etc. I didn't have time to get sponsorship sorted before my VISA expired.
But...I don't mind. I'd still be a poor student now and wouldn't have met my OH so it all worked out.
P.S I don't work in this field anymore...couldn't be further from it to be honest as the stuff I work with is all chemistry and physics (which I suck at). The only animal behaviour I study now is in the canteen at work lol