Thoughts/Conclusions/General Ramblings

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by futureyummymummy, 25 January 2009 Social URL.

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  1. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Ok so after thinking about all the stuff I've been going through I've realised a lot of things, be warned before you go any further this is the goings on of my brain at a time when all I can think about is weight and peoples attitudes surrounding it.

    While everythings a mess maybe it's better it's out now rather than not realising any of this til the end not working through it and still having all these issues then putting the weight back on. These issues are a total revelation to me I hadn't realised just how much my past was affecting me, still terrified of going back there but as my husband says my life has totally changed since then I'm in a whole different zone now and there's no way things would go back to how they were BUT I can't stem that fear BUT now know what I need to work through and deal with before I can win this fight and complete my journey (and no I'm not quitting LL I just know that these are the issues that I need to work on in my remaining time :)).

    My friends thinking about having weight loss surgery which I will fully support if she goes ahead BUT a lot of mutual friends have done the whole oh you can't do that it's too drastic just eat less and exercise more (like we haven't all tried that already) anyway I will try and get her to try LL first as I'm still a total advocate as I'd never have realised what I've realised today if I'd not started this journey.

    The conversations then went on to ww, sw etc. Which when done properly are fantastic BUT there's so many people doing these diets living on absolute crap just because they can, oh yeah the points system is amazing you can have a big mac and still have 2 points left wowee, yeah thats fixing your fight with food isn't it? Same with sw fab if done properly but the woman who lost 10st in a year after eating 15 yogurts a day and nothing else really fought her demons didn't she?
    I have to add here that I lost nothing with either of these and GAINED about 5lbs when I did sw and that was following it to the letter with no syns etc but thats beside the point, my point is do these things really help us overcome oour problems?

    Back to weight loss surgery, I know that if I ever gained the weight back I would do ll again BUT if it happened again after that I would go for surgery. Why do people feel they have the right to judge on the desicions we make ablout our bodies and our health? All my friend wanted was a bit of support while she makes one of the biggest desicions she will ever make and all she got was criticism, exactly the same as I got with LL. We know what we need to do to help ourselves, why don't we ever get the support we need from people? The same people who can eat what they like and never gain weight or the people who eat what they like but exercise for hours every day to make sure they don't gain weight?

    What about when you're actually overweight/obese, did you find people treated you differently? On the school run for example no one talked to me at all before I lost my first stone, now I've lost 3 and no one talks to me when I've not bothered to do my hair or put my make up on but fgs I have 3 kids to get ready in the morning as well as myself, do people expect me to get up an hour earlier to make myself pretty? Why is our appearence so important to those around us OR is it my attitude thats different when I've done my make up etc as I feel better?

    Why does everyone think the eat less and exercise more theory works for everyone cos it sure as hell didn't for me.

    Ok this has turned into a dodgy ramble so anyone else got any thoughts on all of this (and anything else you'd care to ramble about/discuss)?

    Emma xXx
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  3. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    Emma, this comment stuck out for me - I do think people treat me differently now, BUT I think that this is because I act differently, because I feel different now that I'm not carrying four stone extra!

    I have noticed this with people in work, my family and my husband, but I definitely think it's what I'm giving out that they are reacting to! I wonder when you do the school run and you aren't wearing your make up whether you put your head down and don't try and communicate with them too much, and therefore they pick up on this. Then, when you are looking your best and feeling comfortable and confident, you are giving out something entirely different, therefore inviting them to converse with you?

    I am a bit concerned about something that is happening in work. I'm normally pretty pliable and say yes to a lot of things. If someone upsets me I don't tend to stick up for myself too much. However, there were problems this week and I asked for a meeting to be called to address the issues and was very vocal in this meeting. I normally hate confrontation, but it was important to me to sort out the issues so that I wasn't sitting and brooding on things.

    Sorry, I didn't want to turn that round to me then! I just am trying to express that the way I feel inside has changed what comes out of my mouth and the way I carry myself and people will obviously react to this.
  4. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    morning! Sounds like you are really starting to look inside now FYM, and thats a good thing. Not always pleasant, but necessary.

    As PS wrtoe, I too noticed a difference in how people treat me now as opposed to when I was fat.

    At first I was angry, and thought, "What....? I wasn;t worthy of opening and holding the door before - but now men hold the door, wait for me to go through, etc. They smile and say hello on the street, and rush to pick up my keys if I've dropped them.

    Wasn;t the same when I was fat.

    I had 4 car breakdowns the year before I did LL. In one incident, it was not long after I had double knee surgery. I was pushing my car, a haevy volvo, by myself, or trying - on crutches!!! Do you think anyone stopped to help? Nope. They just honked and yelled at the fat bird. I suspect they would stop now.

    ITs not fair. But it is how it is.

    Or - is it......?

    Then, I realised - not only did I look different, but I act different now. My head is held high, I don;t look away and avert gazes anymore. I have become more approachable. Therefore, that is probably why others reactions appear to have changed. But I really think it is more that I have changed - that brings on the friendlier attention.

    Its hard to say - but yes - people will treat us differently - depending on how we look, and on how we act.

    Keep spinning those cogs Emma - they will help you find the answers you need. :)

  5. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Wow Emma, you really have been making some headway into those thoughts. And renewing some of mine for me I might add!!

    I've been so anti-weightloss surgery it's crazy. I totally refused to go down that route because I didn't want to believe that this "food thing" could beat me and I don't believe that you can be beaten either. I don't know why but I see weightloss surgery as like the very last resort, in saying that I can see how people could get so desperate that they see it as their only option. And like I don't think people should remark on me doing LL because its soooo controversial, I would never dream of telling a friend that he or she should not have weightloss surgery (so long as they had researched it properly and made the decision it was their only chance to lose weight and be healthy!).
    Is it because of the experiences with SW and WW that you feel you will not succeed this time? Because I definitely relate to that. I lost 4 and a half stone with SW a couple of years ago and then went on to put 6 stone back on (I'm nearly back to my lowest now ;)) But I am confident that with LL I am collecting the tools that I need to get down to my goal and maintain the weight. And from a couple of the comments you made, I think you are too. Perhaps you are not ready to believe it? It's like you find out that fairytales are make believe and you NEVER get a happy ending? Well bull!! You can so have a happy ending, just not with a frog that turned into a prince!!!

    See it through hun. And stop thinking you're going to need to go through it all again "if I ever gained the weight back". Who says you will put it all back on!?

    B x

    Some people are so fricking rude!! I would have stopped for you ;)

    B x

    I have been thinking about this a lot. Finding it a little odd that people are treating me differently. And I get a little annoyed about it to be honest. But then I have started to question whether (and I might confuse myself here cus it's a little complicated for my tiny brain to compute) people are treating me differently because I am smaller and thus more attractive to them in a social surrounding, or whether I am carrying myself differently because I am more confident due to the weightloss or if people treating me better has improved my confidence and thus made me act more like myself, which in turn means people act even more differently around me!? Hmmm... which causes me to question in fact when I say to people "why do people treat me differently? I'm still the same person, I'm just a little bit smaller?" Is that true? Perhaps I have changed in ways that I don't notice but other people do?
    OK, my brain hurts AND I've managed to hijack Emma's thread (sowwwwwy) so I'm going to reach for the Evian and break off now!! Toodles!!

    B x
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