Tips on staying focussed please.

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by SerenityValley, 24 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. SerenityValley

    SerenityValley Surgically happy.

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Gastric bypass
    I am struggling a little at the moment - I keep seeing the horizon, and i know that I'll finish abstinance somewhere between 30 and 70 days time. It's be easier if I knew it was only 30.

    Today I have been craving a lot and more than once done that little mental exercise in my head where I try to see if there's a way to finish early. I was almost convinced at one point (and still am) that it's ok to start rtm early if I think it'll leave me with less loose skin (I'm going to have more than I'd hoped for and won't ever be able to afford to have it removed).

    So, need tips on how to stay focussed - I set 12st as a target and will start rtm when I get within 2.5lbs of that. But as my losses are likely to slow down and push me towards the 70 days, it's getting harder.
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
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    Hi Andy

    Well, you may not like this, I don;t - but one tip I can give you is don;t worry about the loose skin. You are going to have it, like I do. We've lost a lot of weight. How could we avoid it. BUT - it CAN get better over time, and is far better then being obese. Why I say not to worry too much about that is I found, that it take a while to see the full effect of loose skin. I stopped Abstainance 1/2 stone early, for different reasons - I still got loose skin and its still presenting itself even now. BUT - I look good in clothes, and will deal with that as and when I can if it doesn't do it on its own. Its a very small price to pay for all the good stuff.

    Another thing I might suggest - stop focusing on the number of days. I think you are spending too much time looking for a concrete end date, and unfortunately it does not work that way. Try, and practice telling yourself you are done, when you are done. End of. It really can make a difference.

    I had a date in mind, and final;ly gave up the battle when I saw it was a bit of an obsession, and even when I realised I would not hit that date, I still obessessed with it. That can play tricks with your mind - every day you are focusing on how many days left, etc., which means you are spending a lot of time thinking about the diet - which makes you want to finish. If you see what I mean? It puts it too far in the front of your mind, and thats when struggle enters. It needs to be operating silently in the back of your mind while you are then able to focus on all the wonderful GOOD stuff thats happened and still to come.

    You have already done nearly 365 days anyway (is that right? HERO STATUS!!!) - so whatw another 60 or 70? A blip.

    I would also suggest getting as close to your goal before starting RTM - as clase as you can bear it. Best if you hit it. BUt its a personal decision.

    RTM is SCARY and it is DIFFICULT. I wished I had gone all the way to goal as wouldn;t have experienced some of the anxiety that I did. The whole diet was a breeze - no anxiety at all really, untill RTM.

    Having the safety net of already being at goal will again, free your mind from worry if you go up or down a bit, which you will.

    Not long now. Try very hard to find something else to focus on and I bet you anything that will help.


    PurpleButterfly likes this.
  4. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Calorie counting plain and simple :)
    wise words BL as always!

    Andy & I agreed to challenge each other, to see who can get to 25lb first! It'll help both of us to focus at the moment..
  5. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

    LighterLife for Men (VLCD)
    I sympathise Andy as despite only being on the program for a fraction of the time you have been, the last week or so I too have felt these sorts of things happening to me, the looking to the end, feeling like I want it to just be done already etc.

    As BL said (and as I told myself for most of the diet so far), it ends when it ends. Besides sticking to the plan, there is nothing you can do it affect the 'end date'. Pick an end weight, plan to get to that end weight, and just know that at some time in the near future, you will get there.

    I know that can seem hard, like I said I'm currently doing the same thing, but it is for the best, otherwise as BL said, you will be forever 'counting down the days'.

    without meaning to sounds rude Andy - why within 2.5lbs of it?
    as surely that makes your target 12stone 2.5lbs?
    For the sake of those 2.5lbs (which is what, probably 1 more week) I really would try and get to your target; after all, you initially set it as your target for reason, right?.

    I discussed this same thing with my LLC at my meeting Friday just past, and was saying about how I don't really have an 'end goal weight' as I have no idea what I could safely weigh, and his suggestion was to not worry about any kind of "end" at all, and just carry on doing it until you feel that you are where you want to be.

    So, that's what I'm going to do.
    Hopefully you can do it too.

    Scratch that.

    I KNOW you can do it too :)
  6. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

    Hey Andy

    I think you are already feeling down because of Izzy and it makes other things take on a different perspective. You can put that sad mood onto LL and then it becomes acceptable to mention it. Sorry, haven't expressed that very well, but I hope youknow what I mean.
    I also think the others are right. This weight loss journey (not diet) is scientific in that youare not eating ergo you will lose weight.
    However it is not scientific in the timescale and amounts. Due to various factors we all lose at different rates, wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?
    Try not to set end dates/targets in stone - you set yourself a goal, so if you don't achieve it in the time you automatically feel as though you have failed.
    I read something last week-end that struck a chord.
    A 20 stone person loses 7 stone- gets to 13 stone, starts to feel slim and marvellous, quite rightly.
    That same person gets down to their goal of 12 stone and feels thin, happy, fulfilled,ecstatic etc.
    After a while that person gradually puts on a stone and gets back to 13 stone.
    How do they feel? - FAT, a failure, unhappy, what's the point, might as well give up completely etc etc.
    How so? it's the same 13stone they were before when they felt slim and happy on the way down........................
    Just illustrated to me how our minds play tricks on us. A light bulb moment you could say.
    RTM is challenging. I'm glad I presevered to goal before I started it and then put it off a further few weeks until Christmas/New Year temptations passed.
    What difference do a few weeks make when you've been doing it this long?
    I know it's expensive, but it's sooooo
    worth it.
    Hang on in there Andy. You've done so well. You owe it to yourself and Izzy - do it in her memory. xxxxxx
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