Today I made a stand

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by pete10141748, 27 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    With the sun still rising, in the East.
    I awake again, this bloated beast,
    I roll myself upright with a groan,
    I hear my bedsprings creak and moan

    Each stair upon my case does creak,
    As I make my way downstairs to eat,
    I pass the mirror in my hall,
    And at myself I am appalled

    Yet sitting at my dinner table,
    I feel as though I am not able,
    To stop myself, even with praying,
    From eating this food, which I am inhaling

    Alas, another day as fat,
    Big ol’ Pete, that chubby chap,
    Who sits in front of his PC,
    Day after day, eating biscuits and tea

    I wonder why this happened to me?
    Did I do something inappropriately,
    In a past life, a mild transgression,
    Payment for which is this depression?

    The sun’s now setting in the West,
    And once again I do my best,
    To make it home another day,
    Without showing off the pit-stained grey
    That is my shirt, from only sitting
    On the 22, still it seems fitting,
    That my numbered bus on which I ride,
    Is almost that which I can’t hide,
    A weight which overshadows life,
    And bring me nothing but pain and strife

    But something changed, I don’t know how
    But I finally have the courage now,
    To face myself for the first true time,
    Admit my problem, get it in line

    With the help of friends and great support,
    From the online forum of the minimins sort,
    I’ll finally be able to set free,
    The man who lives inside of me

    Fat Yesterday may have come and gone,
    But nothing there is worth dwelling on,
    Today I made my first big stand,
    To get my weight back in my hands
    And when enough “Todays” have past,
    I’ll look forward to tomorrow at last,
    And finally look at the “yesterdays”,
    And smile, leaving them behind with a wave
     
    Mini and Kitteh like this.
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  3. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    This is brill..!!! i love it..! well done..

    Do you write a lot of creative stuff?

    x x
     
  4. wizzbang

    wizzbang Silver Member

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    Great Pete. Love reading those.
    Lynne x
     
  5. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

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    That was very good pete...xx
     
  6. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Pete that was really good

    Irene xx
     
  7. Carolanski

    Carolanski Back to it!

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    Use the oodles of creative energy you obviously have into your journey and you'll be surprised how far you can go!

    Great poem

    Carol x
     
  8. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    Thanks everyone :)

    Yeah, mostly I write songs with my guitar, but I also enjoy sketching (mostly animals) and the odd spat of poetry as well.
    I seem to having a rhyming mind, poems and songs come to me all the time!


    EDIT: Just realised that even that last line in my post rhymed! lol!
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    That's brilliant Pete :clap:

    Particularly like this bit

    That's how it feels isn't it. Something changes. Some lightbulb goes off.
     
  10. abz

    abz Gold Member

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    nice one pete :)

    abz xx
     
  11. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Brilliant!!!! :D:D:D
     
  12. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    thank you abz + isis :)
     
  13. blackwidow

    blackwidow Gold Member

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    thats absolutely fantastic! i've printed it off and stuck it next to my fat picture on my fridge for inspiration! :D thank you!! x
     
  14. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    Amazing ..... I'm really impressed Pete. xxxx
     
  15. wannabslim

    wannabslim Gold Member

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    Love this poem Pete, you have a real flair! x
     
  16. DamoLeeds

    DamoLeeds Member

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    Great Peom bud - I'M GOING TO WRITE MY OWN NOW!
     
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