Today is DAY ZERO - Tomorrow is DAY ONE!

[SingerJess]

Hi I just joined this site. I have used some other things like this before - LoseIt and MFP, and I find that the support you can get from other people when you really need it is amazing. I love people. And I find the great thing about these things is that none of you know me, you don't know much about my life outside of t'internet and so I can say blurt out when I have a bad day. So thanks in advance - because I have been reading some of the other posts and I already love you all!! :heartpump:

Anyway - to the point. Today is my day zero. The most annoyed with myself I've felt, and the most fed up I've been.
I weigh 16 stone 9 pounds.

And I don't want to weigh that much anymore. It's making me depressed - I just don't feel NORMAL!! I am 21 and I never go out. I eat junk food. I slob out. I get stressed. I cry alot. And I hate how I look.

I want to get married and look gorgeous on my Wedding day. I want to be healthy and have children one day. I want to wear fashionable clothes. I don't want to be the fat girl anymore.

Today is the lowest I think I have felt in a while about this. It is exactly 2 and a half years since I met my partner today and we met I was just under 11 stone - Almost 5 stone in that time is ridiculous!

Anyway - I'm doing the START RIGHT THIS SECOND THING!! It's crazy. I'm not prepared. I have a house full of junk food. I don't know where my jogging bottoms, are and I need to buy some vegetables.

I am poor student and so don't have the money to go to Slimming World. However I will be following the plan and weighing myself once a week - I think Fridays would be a good idea.

I think telling you makes this feel more final. Today is the last day of this life - and tomorrow I am going to change and sort my weight out!! Once and for all..

I want to be:
- Healthier
- Fitter
- Happier
- Prettier
- More confident
- Sexier

Wish me luck.

 

[kirstym]

Good luck hun and welcome on board!!! I know exactly how you are feeling as I was there back in October when I decided to pull my finger out and start SW - now almost 24lb lighter, I am starting too feel a bit more like the me I know I want too be!! I still have a long way to go but that really depressing cloud is starting to turn slightly less grey

I look forward to seeing the lbs fly off you K x

 

[SingerJess]

Aww thanks And well done on being 24lbs down.

I'm normally such a cheery person but when it comes to my weight I am the exact opposite.

 

[SingerJess]

Day One!

Ok. So this is it! I hope I can do it.

I had a good talk with my partner last night about the reasons I want to lose weight, and I think he is on track with me too. It's great to have some support. Plus my sister is losing weight atm and we go on holiday together on 2nd June. So I have suggested we both set a goal weight and weigh ourselves the day before to see if we have hit our target! Gives me motivation.

I have decided to keep this as a weight loss diary - keeps me accountable. I know it's a thread, but it makes this journey very public and it means that if I'm having a reaaalllllyyy bad day (i.e.: I have eaten the entire contents of my fridge) I will (hopefully) get a little bit of support. Because I keep starting "diets". But I don't want to lose it and then forget what I have learnt. I want to be healthy. Plus yesterdays post will be a reminder of how low I feel with my current weight.

Wish me luck. I avoided the usual McD's breakfast on my way to Uni today - opted instead for a Nutrigrain bar instead. About 130 calories and I feel just as full...weird. I call fast food "empty food" because it just doesn't fill me up. I could eat burgers one after another and then 2 hours later be starving again... I'm hoping that healthier options will stop that.

Also, after a little googling I think I have self-diagnosed myself as a food addict. Which sounds a little crazy (I know, I know - google isn't the answer to everything....but still). All the things it said was like they were describing ME! I can binge eat until I feel sick - but then attempt to a meal. I constantly think about food. I buy food to eat when noone else is around...I've never told anyone this before and hope you don't think I'm mad or that I'm gross or anything.

My addiction began with alot of problems I had within my family, from a very young age.

7-Parents divorced
9-Parents both remarried in the same month!
10-Step dad began abusing me
11-Fell out with step mum and stopped seeing my dad for 6 months
13-Finally told about step dad after 4 years of abuse
14-Court case, he found not-guilty....My mum rushed into his arms. And I lived with my dad and step mum full time
15-Mum met me after school (still with stepdad) behind dads back and tried to pretend everything was ok - but she loves my abuser - how could it be?!
15-Changed schools - moved about 25miles away
16-Start self harming.
16-18 - Constant arguing with dad and stepmum. Very unhappy.
18-Moved out. Lived with grandparents for the summer then went to uni.
18- Got with my partner
19th birthday - last time I saw my dad.
19-Sister moved to France to live with mum and stepdad
19-Moved from Huddersfield (yorkshire) to Telford (Shropshire) to live with new boyfriend. Dropped out of uni.
20- Started at Wolves Uni.
21- Well....here we are.

That was very hard to write. But I think to help this food addiction I need to tackle the problems that created it.


Please don't feel sorry for me. I am happy with my life now. I have a wonderful boyfriend, I love his little girl to pieces, I see my sister now, I love going to uni, I have an exciting future, and things are better. And I don't want sympathy, pity or anything like that. This stuff happens to so many young people. I just need to find a way to cope - that isn't stuffing my face with chips and chocolate!

Anyways. Back to the present day. I am going to start this Slimming World plan - without the group. So if there's something I want thats not free or a healthy extra, I will google and find out the Syn value of it. I also think the key to my success with this weight loss is to PLAN PLAN PLAN!!

I'm actually very excited!! Looking forward to my first PROPER weigh in tomorroww!!! And I shall keep this up to date (well thats the plan anyway). Might not be everyday. But I'll do my best.


And (I'm sorry this is so long winded but if you've read this much then thankyou, and I hope I've not put a dampener on your day) if you have anything that may help, please comment. If you have had troubles with food addiction and either have gotten over it or are struggling to please comment. If you know of ANYTHING that can help me please comment. I need all the help I can get. I am so bad at sticking to anything like this.

Best wishes to everyone for a great day.

 

[lilbabyfish]

Hi hun welcome I am 21 too and know exactly what you mean about the whole food addiction thing I used to sneak off and by chocolate and biscuits and stuff to binge on when my OH was out and also a massive comfort eater. I finally managed to get to a happy weight when I was 19 however then found out I was pregnant and then use that as an excuse to eat what I want and the bigger I got the more I ate. Now my little girl is 16 months old and I've still got all my baby weight to lose! I'm on my third week of SW and have so far lost 8lb and have my 3rd WI today and am really enjoying the plan
Good luck hunny you can do it x x

 

[SingerJess]

Thanks You're little girl is beautiful by the way!! What a lovely picture.

I feel so embarassed by it. Last night I binned a pack of biscuits, bottle of chocolate milkshake and a pot noodle my OH didn't know about it.

But well done on your 8lbs!

I just want this sorted by my next birthday (Oct)

 

[lilbabyfish]

Thanks Hun just WI for this morning and lost another 4lb I'm so pleased!
Honestly this is the best diet I've ever tried and I've tried a few! We can do this together

 

[SingerJess]

Oh well done!! That's huge inspiration for me

 

[piX128]

Hi Jess and welcome ! Im new here too but Ive lost 10lbs so far on the SW plan in just over 2 weeks and Ive really not felt deprived - crisps are my downfall and I can even have a bag of those for my syns. Just one pack and not a family sized one mind

as for feeling sorry for you - hell no! If you can get through all that life's thrown you so far then you are one determined and courageous young woman, more than capable of tackling a weight loss journey too.

look forward to following how you're getting on and sharing the good days and the not so great ones - good luck ! x

 

[SingerJess]

Haha very true. I think for me it'll be the snacking in between meals to cut back on. Well done on your 10lbs lost!

And I guess you're right. I survived all that - so surely weight loss which is good for me - won't kill me?! I can't wait to start seeing the pounds dissapear

 

[SingerJess]

Or even disappear!

Couldn't spell for a moment there...

 

[Lottie12]

Lots and lots of luck Jess, so pleased you have found minimins.

 

[SingerJess]

Thanks jilly Im glad I did too.

 

[piX128]

yes, it's been changing my snacking habits that's helped. I did get a bit of a headache for the first few days - that was the twiglets leaving I think ;-) but now I feel great!

 

[cydonamc]

Hi Jess and welcome ... best of luck to you on your weight loss journey... I started in October and down 7 and 1/2... am stuck at the moment but i will start loosing again soon i hope... You have had a lot of stuff thrown at you but your obviously a strong person, this is your year for you all the best x

 

[kirstym]

Hi hun, hope your first WI went well - I'm looking forward too seeing how much your going to lose this week! I think you have done the hardest step which is facing your issue - and we are all her to support you along the way (and give you a kick up the behind if you ever need it - I know I have a few times over the weeks ) K x

 

[SingerJess]

Haha. I will definitely need a kick up the bum sometimes!! Don't we all?

 

[piX128]

loving those four dancing apples!! well done x

 

[SingerJess]

Aww thanks. I'm hoping by the end I will have a whole army of dancing apples!

 

[piX128]

how's it going Jess...hope you're doing ok x