Totaly off topic! - dementia

[jennibells]

Hello

This is totaly off topic but you guys are so good with advise im hoping you can help!

My nan has dementia, its not so bad at the moment as she can still wash, use the toilet etc for herself.

She is coming over tonight while my grandad goes and plays snooker, i just wanted some advice on what to talk to her about because she isnt able to retain anything that you tell her and she gets very confused.

hope you guys can help

 

[dudette2001uk]

I've worked with elderly people with dementia, and we always talked about 'normal' things. Your nan may not retain what you say, but it's more about treating her normally I would say. If a subject seems to be confusing her or distressing her though I would probably change the subject - maybe talk about a close family member, or something you've been doing in your life recently xx

 

[i<3jellybeans]

I think the most important thing is to talk calmly to her, slowly and clearly in a way that she can understand. How about talking to her about your day, even if its something such as putting on the washing? Im afraid i havnt been in your situation and do not have much knowledge about dementia. Perhaps you can ask your nan questions that require a short response, so she then may not get confused about what question she's been asked.

I hope your evening goes well x

 

[judimac]

Sometimes those with dementia can remember things from their early life very clearly, perhaps you could see if she can remember what she was like in her teens. The other thing they enjoy is old films.It might be an idea to see if there are any on tv if you have satellite or you can get them quite cheaply from Amazon if it's going to be a regular occurence, ditto cd's of old songs.

 

[jennibells]

Hey guys we are just sitting watching the TV at the moment, shes enjoying come dine with me as she used to do alot of cooking,
thanks for your advise

 

[jennibells]

OH and naughty granddad brought jam doughnuts!(12 syns each ) - only has 1/2syn 2day for mayo so i may indulge in one and let my skinny sister (who can eat and eat and still say slim) take the rest home!

 

[RegField]

I have been hearing about amazing work being done with dementia patients by getting them to sing. Apparently singing works in a different part of the brain, and people who can't remember anything else may be able to remember all the songs of their younger days, and might enjoy singing them.

I heard a talk given by someone who was employed as a music consultant by a company which runs homes for the elderly. One of his ladies could barely remember anything at all for more than a few seconds at a time, but when he sat down at the piano with her over a few weeks he found that she knew over 100 songs, words and music!

So as Judimac suggests, getting some CDs of the music which means something to her, and getting her to sing along, could mean a great deal to her.

 

[ColJack]

dementia sucks..
my nan had it and it got to the point where when we all went up on sunday night for tea, she would refer to my dad ( her son ) as HER dad... very upsetting for him..

 

[judimac]

Re the singing. I once had a stroke patient who could only say her surname, but when the vicar came she sang the hymns right through, same if someone came to play the piano.

 

[ColJack]

singing and music are different parts of the brain to speech so it depends on where the damage was..
pity she couldn't re-train her brain to sing words instead of speak them...

 

[RegField]

Re the singing. I once had a stroke patient who could only say her surname, but when the vicar came she sang the hymns right through, same if someone came to play the piano.

The power of music is a wonderful thing!

 

[lesley50]

My MIL had dementia , she could remember the past much easier then the present. She would come out with the strangest things , and we just used to go along with it ,correcting her only upset her .Ask her about her childhood ,or when she got married , not only is it good to be able to have a conversation with her , while you still can ( sadly the disease destroys the person you know ) ........not only will she enjoy talking ,you will probably learn so much